Sitting help: …sit back, relax, sit back, relapse again… - Help.com

riight

rrxapture wrote:
I’m not sure I understand the question?

Why do people relapse after such a long time?
And why am I relapsing today?

rrxapture wrote:
Well, into what?Sometimes people simply slip back into their old ways. Unconsciously.The body remembers what the mind forgets.

Well into depression.

Ireland-1 wrote:

yen88u wrote:
Psychotherapy is the most widely-used type of depression treatment and when used along with anti-depressant drugs has the best recovery rate. Psychotherapy includes therapy sessions lasting for practically any length of time. It is completely based on the patient and the therapist to decide when the treatment has yielded results. The excellent thing about psychotherapy is it helps the person to open up and discuss all that has been the cause of depression. This helps the therapist to talk the patient through their feelings and the best method of handling the situations, responsible for the depression.http://askaquery.com/question/Best-Depression-Treatment.html

We ALL exhibit self-defeating behavior in different ways,from the lesser like procrastinating to the more extreme like cutting. I’m convinced it is due to not expressing our emotions , whether or not we were taught to get in touch with them so they could be released . it’s not too late. Some of us cannot recognize exactly what we’re feeling, especially if not taught. I was one of them and still have a problem in seeing it for what it really is sometimes. Expanding my vocabulary has helped with that and I highly recommend doing this. If we look at the facts our feelings are an important part of us, we all have the same emotions , and they are what connects us to others, we have them for a purpose and they have great purpose. The most important is to release them in a healthy way. This requires Action. Yes, thinking is an action but we must go beyond just thinking and ‘Feeling’ them. Just like anything else we can over think and focus too much on the feeling itself. This is where we start to get in trouble b/c it leads us down to internalizing, repressing, denial and shame which eventually brings us into depression. I’m going to list some I know of but I ask for more to be added in hopes of helping others. I highly recommend the first thing to do is to in all situations is to acknowledge what your feeling at the moment b/c sometimes we feel hurt but it comes out as Anger. Then to Confront the issue (which may include confronting a person)this needs to be done as soon as the issue arises. Then TALK about it, including your feeling and trust that words have POWER (even if it seems no-one understands or is even listening. Even if it means to talk to yourself, it’s been proven to be therapeutic. So, First let’s do our A,B,C’s; A) Recognize the feeling B) Confront the issue and/or person ASAP (the exception being Anger) C) Talk cry//take a walk // sports//clean// Hit a pillow // write// sing// start a a hobby// work on a hobby// Go to a shooting range //take a self-defense class// listen to a variety of music// observe and enjoy nature// observe human nature//These replies may be of interest you Kudo’s Felicity and yen88u

Well to be honest, my vocabulary is quite good. But I am bad at recognising emotions. Often, I won’t give proper answers whenever I’m talking about emotions. Random strings of sounds and onomatopoeias may start coming out of my mouth.

ok so.
recognise the feeling.
i have no idea.
anger, patheticness, and um like, just feeling crap
confront the issue.
i don’t want to confront myself really.
i hate crying. its stupid. and walking. and sports. and cleaning.
hitting pillows, well that doesnt really help.
write, um i dont have imagination.
sing, i cant really sing.
work on hobby? its almost 2am…
i would like to go to a shooting range, but im a bit young
cant stand self defense
music, eh, that’ll just work up emotions more
nature eh, cant stand it.

ooh im a retard. i cant stand a lot of things o.O

Mas1st wrote:
Why the f***** are you letting this happen? - What do you want - us to feel bad for you?? - Justification from all the people who failed on the same scale as you are about to - make you feel beeter will it? - - Mas

i don’t want it to happen, but emotions are nearly impossible control. no i dont really want you to feel bad for me, but i know that people on help.com can help….
i dont get the last part of your reply…
but you probably dont know that before i knew you i was a bit depressed…

acutally, quite a while back. more than it seems. like, over a year ago. by quite a bit.

Mas1st wrote:
Actually - I did know that - why would you think I didnt?

Because if you have only been on here for 4 months and 3 weeks I would’ve been in the clear by then.

Mas1st wrote:
Not as long as a year ago - admittedly - but why does this time frame make a difference? Oh and, once more for the record, my account has been reset twice - so I went back to day one - ok?

I don’t know, it does. Oh right…so you are a bit older.
But I mean the worst part was over over a year ago.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
You replied ‘I dont want to, I hate, I dont have, I can’t stand this or that,- Listen to yourself,most are just excuses and most all are negative thinking. theres your problem in a nutshell.

I know. It is one of the things about myself I really don’t like at all. I’m really avoidant in the way I think about actions. I don’t know why I do it. But I can’t help it.

Mas1st wrote:
Look I’m not here to make you miserable - so I’ll give you the best advice you can ever get - HELP - Professional help - Get help/Seek Help - Stop pissing about on websites and looking for patronising answers that make you feel better - get professional help. Obviously now - I’m out - Mas

Nonononononononononononononono really no. Professional help is like argh

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
If you decide to get pro help I advise someone with knowledge in ‘cognitive therapy’ and self-help, knowledge and understanding .If you read some of my posts, im sure it will help too. It doesn;t matter WHY or HOw much, at least not right now. Now you need to ignore the thoughts, go around the excuses and ‘just do it’. Its all about Action. Taking control. you can choose to do it alone with our support of course, or go pay someone .

Professional help is completely out of the question, or at least it is for now.
Anyway it’s only been a couple of days that I’ve been feeling like this. I mean, help.com has helped me before, so, surely it can help again. Maybe.
Clearly action isn’t one of my strong points.

Buying books like this are, too, out of the question - parents are snoops.

But, um…do you mean erogenous? That’s the only word I can think of that is similar…which I don’t see what relevance it bears…

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
What are you going to do? have someone hold your hand and build you up just so you can come back again. Help.com is support, not a all in one answer., temporary. Your thoughts are the problem . change your thought,change your life. sorry for the tough love, but….I know what Im talking about. All you have to do is want it bad enough.

I know, but I really don’t know how to change my thoughts. I’ve done it before, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it. I’m thinking maybe I’m just being a retarded teenager. That’s what I was thinking anyway, but a mood swing doesn’t normally last much longer than a couple of hours…

Mas1st wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that people who are against seeking professional help fall into 2 categories. - Mas

Um, what are those 2 categories? Or would I rather not know…

oh **** ********* *******!
School starts in less than a month.
I don’t want to go back…

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
The book is about becoming clear on why we do what we do ,what rewards we get by doing what we do, all our emotions. Its nothing sinister at all. I promise.

Yes, but my parents will seriously panic if I have any sort of book that is to do with emotions and that.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
so your having fears about school? is that the problem?

No, I’ve only just realised that.

Ireland-1 wrote:
Hold on, Suc, you say that you are only after realising about school well maybe Felicity is correct in the sense that this is the underlying cause of your problems, maybe not consciously but sub-consciously.

Possibly…
In which case I cannot confront the problem…
Well, at least there’s only 65 weeks of it left.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
you still need to work on the thoughts BTW And your right there is a explicit erogenous’ but this is spelled different and means different…..So what do you fear about school? are you dreading going back?

Oh I googled it and it didn’t like it…

I am dreading going back. Bullies.

Mas1st wrote:

ɐʇɐɯɹǝɟ.Suc wrote:

Mas1st wrote:
I have come to the conclusion that people who are against seeking professional help fall into 2 categories. - Mas

Um, what are those 2 categories? Or would I rather not know…oh **** ********* *******!School starts in less than a month.I don’t want to go back…

Yep - and you couldnt find a tree to hide the book under - you couldnt join a library and get to read it for free. Sorry but you are on the internet and not one word of this makes sense to you? Thing is if you didnt bother your backside on last year what are you expecting this year? Find a Community College and resit the year - I have been watching this unfold for a while with you - you cant blame the school for your non-attempts at studying. We both know that - so maybe it’s about time you got back in charge - isnt it? - Mas

Eh when was I doing badly in school :s
I could go to a library, possibly. But it would still be difficult. But not out of the question. Of course, that’s if it is actually in the library.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
bullies is a problem but a problem that can be handled .for good. Get some help with assertive(ness), take some self-defense classes and stand up for yourself.

Yes assertiveness against 3 people who are all over 6 foot tall and way stronger than me.

I have tried self-defence. I failed miserably.

Mas1st wrote:
You have the right - as a card-carrying member of any library in the UK - to ask to be provided with any book. Otherwise you can sue them - you getting me? You have all the tools - use them - Mas

Yeah I know. Except I don’t know where my card is. And my parents would be like o.O if I randomly went to the library. And they’d be like, what do you read. Although I could get that other book out also that’s quite cool. That I got out like 3 years ago when I last went to the library…

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
No, assertiveness is not physical, its effective communication.Its about not being a victim anymore, gaining respect and more by

Eh gaining respect is impossible in my school.
The bullies don’t even pay any attention to me. It took one of them over half a year to realise I wear glasses, when we are in 4 of the same classes.
They just seem to react to what I would’ve said or done in year 7.
So gaining respect would be possible only if I went back in time.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
nope, I know different. Anyone can gain respect.No, NO. no. It is NOT impossible.

Did you go to an English high school?

No insult…
…just people are meaner and chavvier here.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
you think telling you ‘no’ is mean? Its ‘truth’ not argueing or anything.

huh?

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
Im simply telling you your thoughts are wrong. I dont talk about anything i dont know anything about. I KNOW what im talking about from years of experience and knowledge and practice. I know about thoughts!

I know my thoughts are wrong but they are incredibly difficult to control.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
I’m sorry :( Do you want to talk more? i wont be so harsh,I promise

yeah i would like to talk more…because i dont know if i have access to that book…
youre not being harsh, dont worry…

Ireland-1 wrote:
We ALL exhibit self-defeating behavior in different ways,from the lesser like procrastinating to the more extreme like cutting.

I procrastinate a lot.
I have procrastinated for literally an entire day before.
I woke up thinking, “right, I’ll do my homework at 10am” and then i managed to procrastinate until 11pm…

ah right. some time i might go to the library if i can. the good library i can get to easily its just doing it discreetly.

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:
Post a replyWhy discreetly?

my mum would worry…
if i told her i was going to the library, she would insist on knowing what books i read etc.
i dont want her to panic. she would shout.

Shie wrote:
i havent read all the comments above.. but by the the sounds of your post you are frustrated at repetitive things in life… i believe its because honestly, we have to learn from things.. and if we didnt learn the first time… we have to go through it again until we do… but that is just my opinion.. hugs..

sorry but that’s not it at all…

replace fear with faith. definitely a problem. i am the most cynical person i know.

addiction? hmm im not technically addicted to anything.

doubt with surrender…:S

impatience with endurance…but then i would be getting impatient anyway :S

blame with honesty…i dont tend to blame others

guilt with forgiveness…i try and do that

shame with honour…but omg…how…

people dont listen :/

The problem is, I know from experience, that faith like that is always a disappointment when you don’t get the result. I know it’s cynical, but it just seems to be the way things happen in my life.
Sorry I haven’t replied sooner, I’ve been in another part of the country..

experience_drive wrote:

Ireland-1 wrote:
We ALL exhibit self-defeating behavior in different ways,from the lesser like procrastinating to the more extreme like cutting. I’m convinced it is due to not expressing our emotions , whether or not we were taught to get in touch with them so they could be released . it’s not too late. Some of us cannot recognize exactly what we’re feeling, especially if not taught. I was one of them and still have a problem in seeing it for what it really is sometimes. Expanding my vocabulary has helped with that and I highly recommend doing this. If we look at the facts our feelings are an important part of us, we all have the same emotions , and they are what connects us to others, we have them for a purpose and they have great purpose. The most important is to release them in a healthy way. This requires Action. Yes, thinking is an action but we must go beyond just thinking and ‘Feeling’ them. Just like anything else we can over think and focus too much on the feeling itself. This is where we start to get in trouble b/c it leads us down to internalizing, repressing, denial and shame which eventually brings us into depression. I’m going to list some I know of but I ask for more to be added in hopes of helping others. I highly recommend the first thing to do is to in all situations is to acknowledge what your feeling at the moment b/c sometimes we feel hurt but it comes out as Anger. Then to Confront the issue (which may include confronting a person)this needs to be done as soon as the issue arises. Then TALK about it, including your feeling and trust that words have POWER (even if it seems no-one understands or is even listening. Even if it means to talk to yourself, it’s been proven to be therapeutic. So, First let’s do our A,B,C’s; A) Recognize the feeling B) Confront the issue and/or person ASAP (the exception being Anger) C) Talk cry//take a walk // sports//clean// Hit a pillow // write// sing// start a a hobby// work on a hobby// Go to a shooting range //take a self-defense class// listen to a variety of music// observe and enjoy nature// observe human nature//

These replies may be of interest you Kudo’s Felicity and yen88u

This is an amazing statement that carries within it an abundant amount of useful and prevalent information. I concur with emotional repression theory. It starts with your thinking however. You know when you think about grabbing a snack and your mind says don’t you eat enough’ oddly enough that sarcastic little thought came in your moms voice. we each have a mother and a head full of nagging voices. People can be very mean at times. we forgive and forget and go on. our subconscious however does not it remembers that negative vibe and not has made the connotation. purging your mind of the negative voices of others can only begin when the dependency of accolades decreases. You have to be willing to take a good hard long look at you and to evaluate yourself unbiasedly.

Oh right so you are saying that I sometimes have a bit low confidence because of my mum always nagging me about spots and how fat I am and how unfit I am etc.?
That makes sense.
I don’t know what an accolade is…

wait so i need to get by without praise to truly believe in myself