Year help: Distance or No Distance? - Help.com

Lol go for it ;P

show up in his house’s door, and don’t stop ringing til he shows up…lol

maybe, you should stop thinking of that relation, as something that has “future”…i mean, the guy doesn’t want to meet you…

I noticed the word ‘relationship’ for want of a better pahrase do you mean you are on some level romantically attatched? I always took a distance relationship as a temporary thing - more a promise of fidelity and a break in the relationship than the acctual thing continued. You just can’t know people over the internet even after talking for years - if and when you meet you may get on you may not. Talking without voice tone or body language leaves you to interpret what is said with some imagination hence why it’s easier to get on with people online. Regarding what you acctually asked - go for it.

I think he could be married. He may have a “reason” to want to “connect from a distance…”

a lot of you are saying “go for it.” Go for what?

i dunno….lol

Like go for talking to him?

Maybe…although I think it’s pointless…

but we have been talking for two years! We really like each other and care for each other. We tell each other that we love each other.

he doesn’t want to meet her…he’s afraid of something, and several things come into my mind…

Afraid of what? What comes to mind? The same things happen to me. Things pop up in my mind…here they are…

afraid of hurting himself, or her

I think he is afraid of loosing the connection. I see where he is coming from and understand how he fears the great connection being different in person because of the lack of a computer screen as a shield.

Other things that come to my mind is not trusting that the love we are feeling is going to last. He had a girl hurt him really bad and I think he is scared.

I vote for he’s married too, or at least has a long-term girlfriend. No one LIKES Internet relationships over real life ones. Unless, of course, they’re hiding something.
Have you ever seen him on webcam? Maybe he doesn’t look like he’s told you.
Have you talked on the phone with him? If so, can you call him anytime or does only he call you? Or is there set rules on when you can call?

he doesn’t want to talk on the phone either. He does have a gf, but he is ALWAYS on talking to me! I try to stay off, but why should I have to stay off or change my name because he cannot stick to HIS LIFE and is not happy with his life without me around in it.

Why are you carrying on a relationship with him if he has a gf??
You’re demeaning yourself and letting him use you.
Don’t you see that you’re just his Internet Toy? He’ll never make a commitment to you, he’s made that clear. Why are you staying in a relationship that has no future?

…well, maybe he’s really far away… o.0

he is. In california.

2511 wrote:
…well, maybe he’s really far away… o.0

Nah he already told her he has a gf and she can’t talk to him on the phone and he never wants to meet her in person. So it’s much more than just the distance. lol

block him then…

but I am not the type to shut people out like that. I mean, how do I just stop talking to him?

Anon - do you think that you won’t ever be able to get another man if you leave him? Is that why you’re with him?
And how old are you and him?

he’ll keep talking to you…
the relation doesn’t have a future…

You’re just his Cyber Chick. You’re not in a real relationship. Free yourself up so a good man can find you.

No. I know I can have another guy, but I want this one. He is the only guy who does not treat me like a game board or who accepts me for who I am. He does not care that I am the way I am and i do not care the way he is. We support each other.

he loves you?

but still, he has gf, he doesn’t want to talk over the phone, he doesn’t want to meet you….

Anonymous wrote:
No. I know I can have another guy, but I want this one. He is the only guy who does not treat me like a game board or who accepts me for who I am. He does not care that I am the way I am and i do not care the way he is. We support each other.

But you can’t have him - someone else already does.
And he DOES treat you like a game board - he treats you like an online game!

If you are happy being his Computer Girl then more power to you, but don’t ever expect anything more than that.

You’ve never seen him live on webcam so I bet he’s some really old married fat guy.
Don’t tell me “NO! He sent me pictures so I know what he looks like!” because I KNOW that even you aren’t that gullible.

yeah. thanks. I dont know what to do now. I just want to cry.

Anonymous wrote:
yeah. thanks. I dont know what to do now. I just want to cry.

Dump him and get a real man.

:***o(

Hey, don’t be so hard with her…

2511 wrote:
Hey, don’t be so hard with her…

I’m not being hard! She said she doesn’t know what to do and I told her to dump him and get a real man. How is that hard?

You are WAAAAAY too good for him Anon, lilies is right.

You deserve a real relationship with a real man (in the flesh and honest).

i am sad because I dont know what to do and what is right, or right to do! it hurts to think about not having him around.

You should make your choice by yourself…think of everything, and after that, come up with something

Anonymous wrote:
i am sad because I dont know what to do and what is right, or right to do! it hurts to think about not having him around.

Well maybe you’ll tire of the game some day and will *want* to dump him and move on.
I just wish you weren’t in a committed relationship right now (where you’re the only one committed unfortunately) because it doesn’t leave you available for other guys to ask you out.

Chameleon wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i am sad because I dont know what to do and what is right, or right to do! it hurts to think about not having him around.

Well maybe you’ll tire of the game some day and will *want* to dump him and move on.I just wish you weren’t in a committed relationship right now (where you’re the only one committed unfortunately) because it doesn’t leave you available for other guys to ask you out.

I think that is why I am writing this. I do not know how to say goodbye to him.

Like I said before Anon - if being his Cyber Girl is enough for you then more power to you, but just don’t ever expect anything more.

you don’t even know why you’ve written this…
again..
You should make your choice by yourself…think of everything, and after that, come up with something…
a final choice

Do you know any guys in “real life?”

I try to be his friend, but then he takes it a step farther sometimes and we end up slipping into a connection closer than friends, but not gf and bf. Its like, pure, open communication.

Anonymous wrote:
I try to be his friend, but then he takes it a step farther sometimes and we end up slipping into a connection closer than friends, but not gf and bf. Its like, pure, open communication.

“Pure open communication” is being able to look someone in the eye and read body language

JellyBelly wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I try to be his friend, but then he takes it a step farther sometimes and we end up slipping into a connection closer than friends, but not gf and bf. Its like, pure, open communication.

“Pure open communication” is being able to look someone in the eye and read body language

not rly, just talking is enough…you can’t really talk about soething you’ve never tried before…

Anonymous wrote:
I try to be his friend, but then he takes it a step farther sometimes and we end up slipping into a connection closer than friends, but not gf and bf. Its like, pure, open communication.

you keep sticking up for him. If you want to be his Cyber Girl On The Side, just say so and we’ll drop it. Just be honest with yourself and us.

Chameleon wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I try to be his friend, but then he takes it a step farther sometimes and we end up slipping into a connection closer than friends, but not gf and bf. Its like, pure, open communication.

you keep sticking up for him. If you want to be his Cyber Girl On The Side, just say so and we’ll drop it. Just be honest with yourself and us.

Maybe she can just tell him that she can only be his friend…nothing else…

I don’t want to be his Cyber Girl on the Side. I want to be his girl period. The only way I feel that I could get him to realize that is to stay away from him and get him to realize what he had and no longr has.

Anonymous wrote:
I don’t want to be his Cyber Girl on the Side. I want to be his girl period. The only way I feel that I could get him to realize that is to stay away from him and get him to realize what he had and no longr has.

Well try it then :)

I have told him about the friend thing, but he confused me because he got so upset about not being able to “be more” than friends. Why would he do that if we are nothing more in any other way?

just face him…
if it doesn’t work, then try that..

Anonymous wrote:
I have told him about the friend thing, but he confused me because he got so upset about not being able to “be more” than friends. Why would he do that if we are nothing more in any other way?

You really don’t understand what he’s doing, do you?
Let me try to explain - you are his “little secret” that he keeps from his wife/gf.
He doesn’t want you to break up w/ him because then he won’t have you to play with on the ‘net anymore. Married men often do this - carry on with a girl online - but that doesn’t mean they’d ever give up their real relationship for their “online toy”.

I understand that you have feelings for him, and he probably has some feelings for you too. But as I’ve said before - don’t expect a real life relationship with him. It’s not gonna happen. He won’t even let you phone him or see him on cam.
So now you just need to decide if the “relationship” you have with him is enough for you right now. If it is, fine. If it’s not, you can “try” to steal him from his real gf or you can move on from him. The choice is yours.

Thanks Chameleon, 2511, JellyBelly, and Lilies-Son.

Welcome…good luck.

thanks

no problem

I agree with Chamelion.
Do as you intended, not going back at once. It is a good training for a time without him.
You also get an indication of his reaction.

At the end of the line is that if he does not want to see you soon, he is not enough interested.

You have to decide whether or not your time has more value than to be wasted on him.

Here’s the unpleasant truth about people and distance.
It’s really easy to communicate freely with someone about anything, when there’s no need to commit.
You don’t have to meet them, hell at the end of the day you don’t have to talk to them.
Meeting them and creating something in the real world.
Well it’s never quite how you’d like it to be.
And meeting people in real life can sometimes be a little disapointing.

Keep what you have, there’s no reason why not.
It’s often good to have someone you can talk to about anything.

I think you’re wasting your time and emotions. If you want a relationship, find a real person. If you want to live, then live. Don’t settle for pretend.

I think go for it, but you will really need to talk to him about the meeting each other, if he doesnt want to meet he may have something to hide or not be exactly who he is so becareful

Hi darling
I guess you should figure out what is the reason why he don’t want to meet. It is really important ….if he says something which can be understand you should respect his decision too. But be free to talk with him about how you feel and you wanna meet.
P>S> I had an online relation but it doesn’t work so my opinion is if you have posibility to meet him it is better . But You never know with who you talk online it can be a real nice person but you never know if he’s pretending to love you or he really loves you ! But if you two decide to meet each other meet him on a public place and take care of your self :)
Hug ya :)

I think you should go for it. it will give you some free time and you can see how much he cares for you.

this is hard!