friends help: Ok, Im a 15 year old girl and I used to have major issues with my appearance. - Help.com

don’t worry about getting a boyfriend, would be my advice. as much as you may want one, there’s no rush. just let things happen naturally. if a boy likes you or you like a boy then maybe it’d be time to start thinking what now. but for now, just enjoy your new found confidence in yourself.

as for the experience thing, that’s not even an issue. nobody cares. really. i reckon most of your friends are exaggerating their experiences anyway, but even if they aren’t, it doesn’t matter. just concentrate on being yourself and being happy, and relationships etc will naturally follow :)

BlindOptimism wrote:
don’t worry about getting a boyfriend, would be my advice. as much as you may want one, there’s no rush. just let things happen naturally. if a boy likes you or you like a boy then maybe it’d be time to start thinking what now. but for now, just enjoy your new found confidence in yourself.

as for the experience thing, that’s not even an issue. nobody cares. really. i reckon most of your friends are exaggerating their experiences anyway, but even if they aren’t, it doesn’t matter. just concentrate on being yourself and being happy, and relationships etc will naturally follow :)

In a school like mine, though, its hard to not worry about lack of experience - its just how it is. If school wasn’t like that then I guess I’d be ok with it. I can’t help comparing my friends experience to my lack-of experience :(
Thank you for the advice though x

i don’t know what your school is like, so i can’t really comment on that. but i reckon people who admire you and respect you if you were like, yeah this is me, and i’m proud of that. none of y’alls are gonna make me do anything i dont wanna. so there :p

anyway, it’s your choice, but i highly recommend not rushing anything. its better to wait and for that first boyfriend to be gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. right? :D

Just talk to them. Talk about interests and things you like. Be your self around them and gradually come together. It isn’t something that happens in the blik of an eye.

OMG whoever said ‘ewww no way!’ is a d!**** you wouldn’t want to date anyway.
And honestly, I don’t think any guys will mind that you’re not experienced, they’ll probably like it. I mean, who wants to eat an apple that someone else has already bitten? ;)

First of all. I am very very happy that you have found confidence. All of us women are supposed to think we are hot shyt. If we don’t, other people definately won’t. But don’t rush into things. let it happen. And I know you want a boyfriend, and you’ll have one soon enough.
But I try and teach my kids to think outside the box. Don’t be like everybody else. Be yourself. Be proud and be a leader. Don’t do something because ‘’everyone else is doing it'’. I guarantee you’ll be noticed and will gain more respect for being different then like everyone else. You’ll stand out more. You’ll be differen’t than other girls, and the guys will want that more.
It’s normal to want to be kissed, especially at your age. Just be careful. I’m rather scared that you are so anxious to be kissed and have a boyfriend, that they may pick up on this and take advantage of you.

why do u give a **** why others think, learn 2 love ureslf (not a vain way)& others will recognise the beauty that shines through out you,but that aside you are not abnormal for not kissing someone so jus keep shining & dont ever let any1 extinguish your flame your right 2 be you.

Exactly the same problem!! haha my school made me see coucilers for it, fat lot of good :P
i had one boyfriend who picked out evry little thing that was wrong to me down to the point:

“you could breathe differently,that’s annoying” ¬_¬'’ now who’s the silly one for believing that!!

face it [no offence guys] but most our age are really shallow!!
try going out to local clubs for a bit or meating some guy mates who your friends could introduce you to,thats how i met my boyfriend now =] we became close friends first and i helped him through a rough time, now we’ve been together for nearly 5 months =] [short but a start =]] the best guys/relationships take work

Plus who gives a rats **** if your mates have been kissed?? your special, most decent men don’t aim for people with loads of relationships under their belts!! =]

verucasalt’s got the right idea =]

good luck!!

I can understand your plea, but I can also tell you that you aren’t alone. When I was 6, my doctor was always telling my mom how I’m off the weight chart (I was also off the height chart, but apparently they didn’t think it would affect my weight… *rolls eyes*). Anyway, went through that every time I went to the doctor, and it didn’t help when your parents even start commenting that you should lose weight (although they are the ones giving me food and telling me to eat all of it). I ended up changing schools in 6th grade, and basically got ignored the three years till I got to high school. Went to an all girls high school and now I’m in college.

In all that time, I’ve never 1) had a boyfriend, 2) kiss a boy, or 3) even dated a boy, and I’m 19 years old.

I know our stories are different, but I went through the same thing as you. I was never the focus of guys talking, unless it was how they were going to try and irk me. And really, what you need to do is just not care. I know it’s hard when someone comes up to you and doesn’t even glance you direction and yet they are ogling your friend. But basically, figure that, if they are ignoring you when you don’t have ‘looks,’ imagine what they would do if you looked like your friend, and then lost your ‘looks.’

In all honestly, if they can’t look past the outer shell, they probably aren’t worth it. I’ve got a guy friend who is the nicest person in the world, and every time we talk, he greets me with “How are you doing today hottie” and I am no where near what anyone would consider hot (unless you like someone over weight I guess). Heck, he’s even told me that he likes me, and he could honestly get any girl he would want just because of how hard he works to please them. A girl could probably cheat on him multiple times and he’d still be there waiting for her if she asked him too.

Now, as far as getting a boyfriend, best thing I can tell you to do is feel confident. Don’t worry about how you look, just focus on other things. Dress it whatever makes you feel strong and confident, not just something that society deems sexy. I’ve got a friend who’s over weight, who will wear a tub top, neck tie, arm warmers, and jeans. She is so self-conscious about her looks, but when she wears something like that, she’ll have guys walk up to her and ask her out.

Really, just try to be comfortable, and you’ll find someone. Also, if you feel up to it, go up to a group of guys and start talking to them. You might be surprised how some times they will be impressed that you came up to them alone.

And I agree with the earlier comments. I’ve had some guys find it amazing that, even though I’m in college, that I haven’t dated anyone. Think of it this way, you really have no one to compare it to, so they don’t have to worry of you comparing them to your past dates, so the pressure is off them and they have more fun. So, just relax, find your center where you can feel good about yourself, and then go out and look. You’ll probably find someone amazing.

Thank you everyone for your replies - you’ve all been a great help :)
x

Demi wrote:
I can understand your plea, but I can also tell you that you aren’t alone. When I was 6, my doctor was always telling my mom how I’m off the weight chart (I was also off the height chart, but apparently they didn’t think it would affect my weight… *rolls eyes*). Anyway, went through that every time I went to the doctor, and it didn’t help when your parents even start commenting that you should lose weight (although they are the ones giving me food and telling me to eat all of it). I ended up changing schools in 6th grade, and basically got ignored the three years till I got to high school. Went to an all girls high school and now I’m in college.

In all that time, I’ve never 1) had a boyfriend, 2) kiss a boy, or 3) even dated a boy, and I’m 19 years old.

LMAO @ you saying your parents said you needed to lose weight, but kept feeding you. I know that’s sensitive subject, but that was a funny one you can bring up to them all the time.

I know our stories are different, but I went through the same thing as you. I was never the focus of guys talking, unless it was how they were going to try and irk me. And really, what you need to do is just not care. I know it’s hard when someone comes up to you and doesn’t even glance you direction and yet they are ogling your friend. But basically, figure that, if they are ignoring you when you don’t have ‘looks,’ imagine what they would do if you looked like your friend, and then lost your ‘looks.’

In all honestly, if they can’t look past the outer shell, they probably aren’t worth it. I’ve got a guy friend who is the nicest person in the world, and every time we talk, he greets me with “How are you doing today hottie” and I am no where near what anyone would consider hot (unless you like someone over weight I guess). Heck, he’s even told me that he likes me, and he could honestly get any girl he would want just because of how hard he works to please them. A girl could probably cheat on him multiple times and he’d still be there waiting for her if she asked him too.

Now, as far as getting a boyfriend, best thing I can tell you to do is feel confident. Don’t worry about how you look, just focus on other things. Dress it whatever makes you feel strong and confident, not just something that society deems sexy. I’ve got a friend who’s over weight, who will wear a tub top, neck tie, arm warmers, and jeans. She is so self-conscious about her looks, but when she wears something like that, she’ll have guys walk up to her and ask her out.

Really, just try to be comfortable, and you’ll find someone. Also, if you feel up to it, go up to a group of guys and start talking to them. You might be surprised how some times they will be impressed that you came up to them alone.

And I agree with the earlier comments. I’ve had some guys find it amazing that, even though I’m in college, that I haven’t dated anyone. Think of it this way, you really have no one to compare it to, so they don’t have to worry of you comparing them to your past dates, so the pressure is off them and they have more fun. So, just relax, find your center where you can feel good about yourself, and then go out and look. You’ll probably find someone amazing.

Demi wrote:
I can understand your plea, but I can also tell you that you aren’t alone. When I was 6, my doctor was always telling my mom how I’m off the weight chart (I was also off the height chart, but apparently they didn’t think it would affect my weight… *rolls eyes*). Anyway, went through that every time I went to the doctor, and it didn’t help when your parents even start commenting that you should lose weight (although they are the ones giving me food and telling me to eat all of it). I ended up changing schools in 6th grade, and basically got ignored the three years till I got to high school. Went to an all girls high school and now I’m in college.

In all that time, I’ve never 1) had a boyfriend, 2) kiss a boy, or 3) even dated a boy, and I’m 19 years old.

I know our stories are different, but I went through the same thing as you. I was never the focus of guys talking, unless it was how they were going to try and irk me. And really, what you need to do is just not care. I know it’s hard when someone comes up to you and doesn’t even glance you direction and yet they are ogling your friend. But basically, figure that, if they are ignoring you when you don’t have ‘looks,’ imagine what they would do if you looked like your friend, and then lost your ‘looks.’

In all honestly, if they can’t look past the outer shell, they probably aren’t worth it. I’ve got a guy friend who is the nicest person in the world, and every time we talk, he greets me with “How are you doing today hottie” and I am no where near what anyone would consider hot (unless you like someone over weight I guess). Heck, he’s even told me that he likes me, and he could honestly get any girl he would want just because of how hard he works to please them. A girl could probably cheat on him multiple times and he’d still be there waiting for her if she asked him too.

Now, as far as getting a boyfriend, best thing I can tell you to do is feel confident. Don’t worry about how you look, just focus on other things. Dress it whatever makes you feel strong and confident, not just something that society deems sexy. I’ve got a friend who’s over weight, who will wear a tub top, neck tie, arm warmers, and jeans. She is so self-conscious about her looks, but when she wears something like that, she’ll have guys walk up to her and ask her out.

Really, just try to be comfortable, and you’ll find someone. Also, if you feel up to it, go up to a group of guys and start talking to them. You might be surprised how some times they will be impressed that you came up to them alone.

And I agree with the earlier comments. I’ve had some guys find it amazing that, even though I’m in college, that I haven’t dated anyone. Think of it this way, you really have no one to compare it to, so they don’t have to worry of you comparing them to your past dates, so the pressure is off them and they have more fun. So, just relax, find your center where you can feel good about yourself, and then go out and look. You’ll probably find someone amazing.

I suppose thats where Im lucky - my parents try to convince me Im NOT ugly. I can’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for you when your parents said you needed to lose weight. Although, if they were telling you to lose weight for the benefit of your health, then I suppose its not too bad.
I like who I am now and when Ive developed the confidence Ill start to look for a boyfriend I think. I know it seems like Im rushing by putting myself out there, but I really can’t just sit back and wait for it to happen. Although, I won’t be trying too hard and Ill make sure I keep my standards high ;)
I hope I do find someone amazing, who can like me for who I am.
Thanks for the replies again :)
xx