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Well I dont think it’s insurance one bit. The God thing bothers me as if she were that committed to his reply she wouldnt be calling you crazy for waiting for it also.

By any chance has something changed lately or is about to change. It is like she is waiting on something I’m not sure it’s God though. She hasnt started a new job or got new friends?

The last thing it could be is that she is actually frightened or nervous of getting intimate with anyone. Something is very contradictory about what you are describing. Is she quite young? - Mas

The problem you have here is that the relationship has moved backwards. The distance, lack of physical contact and your problem with communicating.

I mean have you done the obvious and got web-cams, men who are notoriously shy at expressing themselves on the phone can do better if they have visuals.

God’s response maybe a factor but what kind of lifestyle change would she be subjected to if she left Mr & Mrs Ritchie Ritchy (her parents). Got to ask - do the parents like you? If they dont this would be the ideal time for them to drip-feed her about why she should stay at home an not move into a life of abject poverty with you.

You need to spend some time with this girl. It doesnt matter if you are working she can still travel to see you for a few hours. There are hours in the day if you make an effort. I think most of the effort is being made by you at the moment. Correct me if I’m wrong but it’s all about her and none about your happiness.

When do you envisage getting married to each other? Have dates ever been discussed?

Will your studies be complete by then? Also are you planning living near her family? It’s just I’m assuming your own family and friends (whom you dont mention at all) must surely equate into your thoughts for where you will settle.

I think she is quite enjoying her current domestic set-up. No bills, adoration from the parents. What exactly is she doing with her time when he isnt visiting you? I’d be quite insulted if I was studying and working and my absolute beloved wasnt putting in a few hours travel to support me.

You need the playing field levelled a bit. Not with ultimatums but what do you think would happen if you made a conscious decision not to travel to visit her for a month - would the relationship survive that? or would she let it all go cold?

I joined this site about 6 months ago. I kind of wonder what you can do next, not what you should do but what you can actually do to repair this. I’d be loathe to say pack your stuff and move nearer her as her level of committment is way exceeded by yours right now and obviously that would cause major disruption for your studies.

I can tell you have totally invested all the love in your heart into this relationship but you dont sound foolish - you are not blind to all the glaring faults that are popping up in front of your eyes.

Do you think she doesnt view you as independent from her, have you maybe allowed her to think you are needy when it comes to her? I’d be very tempted if I were you to find at least one thing a week new (seriously) so that those phone calls arent more of the same but you can inject some laughter and new names into the conversations with her. Good old fashioned touch of jealousy wont harm her. You maybe have been too understanding and patient and she has just learned to take you for granted.

Do something wild one weekend - hire a motorbike and drive down after work to see her for an hour with some flowers and then leave in time to get back for next days work.Leave her wanting more - like you are running the schedule for a change.

I know it sounds corny but the more interesting and slightly more elusive you become the more notice she will take. But seems to me like the phone relationship part is killng this right now.

No probs - it’s a work in progress I think - just dont go getting her name tatooed on you just yet - Mas