friends help: Is it okay to have very little friends and be happy? - Help.com

I feel the same way as you do. I feel more of a loner type, but friends ae good too. Tell your freinds how you feel and maybe they nay realise your right, but if not it means they are not ready to move. This should not mean they have changed or you have. People are the same generally and need their time to find what ever they are looking for, or in this case what they are clinging to.

no its not bad at all! people grow apart from each other… its normal. and if youre still happy then everything will be okay! =)

Then that means they need their time to find out what thery need, but I am sure your still they same person they grew to love.

It’s a fact of many peoples lives that as you get older you move away from the need for social acceptance and focus more on smaller but more profound relationships like family.

The whole period of our life where we need social acceptance is natures way of tricking us into mating. Once we find out mates we move into a family building mode of life.

I have a sister and two other close friends and I’m happy with that. We still spend time with other people socially, but it’s still all I need :)

EmilyRI wrote:

Da⌐11 wrote:
It’s a fact of many peoples lives that as you get older you move away from the need for social acceptance and focus more on smaller but more profound relationships like family.The whole period of our life where we need social acceptance is natures way of tricking us into mating. Once we find out mates we move into a family building mode of life.

It’s scary. I feel like I’m too young for this. Like my friends are still out on Friday (even Monday) nights drinking to excess at a bar and chatting up nonsense.
At this point, I can’t handle that.

All the while my friends ask me to come out with them but I stay home, read a book or spend time with my sister or boyfriend. I’m contented with all this.
But I feel I’m hurting their feelings by telling them NO.

People grow and mature at different rates. You can’t feel bad because your growing faster then your friends are.

EmilyRI wrote:
All the while my friends ask me to come out with them but I stay home, read a book or spend time with my sister or boyfriend. I’m contented with all this.
But I feel I’m hurting their feelings by telling them NO.

Im like that. I rather spend time in my room reading a good novel than go out. My friends or family dont understand that but its what make me happy. They always say your too young and pretty to be sitting in the house but i like it. I like being out as well, but doing things i think are important not what everyone expects of me, which are partying and drinking or talking about which boy im going to call up next… Thats just not me and im just fine with that.

No it’s not bab to be happy like that

you are much happier and more sure about yourself than most social butterflies. people who have to entertain so many different aquantences, dont get time to learn who they are thru their life, and just end up as the soccer mom who pastes that fake smile on their face and has no clue what great, silent things that alone time has to offer.
i have a helping personality. if i see someone who needs my help in some way, i befriend them. i leave when i feel they are strong enough to make it on their own. i have 3 real friends. i will have them when i am 74, unless one of us passes first. the rest is useless to me. all the friends on myspace, all the bars with one more seat for me, i am only 21 and i am happier sitting at home on my apartment porch alone, than anything else!!!!!!!!!! what a fackin wierdo huh? sorry its early in the day i could write a **** book…lol. good luck finding you, lady. its a lot of fun.

i will like to be your friend babe…my name is monsuru form west africa you e-mail me here i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>

its not bad!
if your happy, surely thats all that matters.
maybe you’ll find other friends who you are more incomman with.
:)

i think if you have no friends your more likely to get picked on at school but if your happy then that’s fine

its totally fine as long as u arent a jerk to them when trying to move on.
do it slowly

I have very few friends because a lot of the girls i used to hang out with never grew up. yeah, it may slightly suck, but at the same time it is a big step and you can be excited to be different and to wanna move on and have a better life. i wish things would have changed with them but they didn’t and you just got to constantly remind yourself you are doing what is best for you and no matter what it will work out one way or another. thanks for the advice good luck

growing up and all thru school i only had a few good friends and thats all i needed. even today, im a 32 year old guy with a family and still retain those few good loyal friends. so yes, its okay.

Growing apart from friends is natural!
It happens, and sometimes it can improve and mature friendships as well :)

That’s not bad. Why should you be devastated? If you are happier without them your friends need to understand they have to move on like you are trying to do. Friends come and go.

And sometimes they go, and then come back later in your life!

I have 2 or may 3 real and only friends. the more friend you have the more drama you can gat wrapped into. I think few friend in life is just fine.

OF COURSE ITS K. You are not the only one. I’m in college and I see hundreds of people everyday. I talk to people but thats all I can tell you that I have only six true friends. I used to try and make new friends each day but the problem sometimes is that either the person is a two face or they just want to use you or have you for their benefit, know what I mean? Well its good to have few friends cause like the above post said the more friends one has, the more drama there is.

Your doing great Emily…go with the flow. I find as I get older, I’m ok being alone. It’s seems that’s the way of the world.

A friend in need is a friend indeed…but we still need to know people…

Really, if you’re honestly happy with the situation, then what is the problem? But of course, you might want to remain open to the possibility that you will meet new folks who will then become your friends. It has been known to happen!

I’ve also been friends with my girlfriends for a VERY long time. My best friend and I met nearly 20 years ago. I think we go through a lot of changes as we get older and grow, it’s natural to change in different ways. I’ve experienced this with my own friends. But I think the key for our group is that we recognize this inevitible transition and we embrace it. We know we’re not the same people now at 31 years old than we were at 11, but we’ve invested so much in one another and we respect that. We sort of have an unwriten pact to stick together no matter what. A marriage of sorts without the legal paperwork.

Good friendship is precious and priceless. It seems rare in the world. Try to stick it out and maybe talk about your feelings

(Haven’t read through the whole post so cold be repeating what someone else has said, but) if you’re happy then that’s the important thing. If you can be happy without needing your friends around, then even better, because it means you’re not relying on them. You’re probably in a better position with this than the rest of us!

I just read your reply. I’m sorry, I didn’t read more closely. It sounds to me like they are treating you badly. If that is the reason you are considering breaking ties, then I can’t blame you. No one should ever have to put up with bad treatment. I would not define treatment of that nature as “friendship”. Sometimes my friends and I have disagreements too, but we try very hard to patiently hear the other side and try to be mindful of each others feelings. it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on here.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I know it must be tough! I’m glad to hear you have your hubby to lean on through this tough time. That is a blessing.

Just as an initial reaction, I would say that if you are happy with the way things are, then don’t try too hard to change them.

Yeah its ok, you need to enjoy your own company before you can be a good friend

It’s perfectly justified to feel like that. Everyone changes and moves on; perhaps you should talk to them about it (although that might be difficult). It’s fine to not feel that upset; sometimes people just feel that way.

i wud say freinds are not decided by age.. gender.. social status.. n stuff.. its jus the connexion n the nexus btwn you two… the no. does not matter.. n it shud not matter

Is it bad to not be devastated?? no not at all I am as you to many friends drove me crazy and I am so not into all that they do its like we did grow apart butt one day I decided to call all of them because I do love each and everyone of them dearly with all my heart as I don’t want to dis them either or feel that they are missing me or I am missing them you get the point so I decided to call them to meet once a year with them as each year we all get together and go camping once a year the same spot between the lakes its west from here its breath taking to see them and to get away from it all its this weekend matter of fact !

Gosh I hope it is ok, cause besides my immediate family I really only have one friend. ;) It is all good.. doesn’t matter as long as you are happy.

I think it’s ok. People drift apart, it’s nothing to be sad about it’s just the way things are. And if you’re happier with having a different group of friends, or a smaller group of friends I don’t see anything wrong with that. Do whatever you feel is right and whatever makes you happy, your friends will understand in the long run why you went your own way.

It’s perfectly normal. Don’t ever feel bad for feeling happy. It’s all good.

its ok to have few friends i dont have many but the ones i do have are great they are there when i need them and thats what counts the most. in short its like they say not quantity but quality

If you have someone (or a kitten) to hug every once in a while, sometimes that can be good enough :-)

its perfectly fine…everyone relaises its time to move on at some point. even f you stay in touch but dont have much contact. ive recently pulled out of a huge group of mates and im left with no one - al cos i left school - but im meeting loads of new people and maybe you could find something you enjoy doing and put yourdself in a tema or club…or going down the pub for one and meeting new people isnt a bad idea either! :D as long as your sensible about it!

at least you have friends i have none

Well i guess if your happy doing that then maybe its best. If you feel your drifting away from them then it might be an idea to break ties with them. BUT you have to think about their feelings, they’re probally not like you, they still value you as their friend and that isn’t something easily broken, you can’t just say GOODBYE and expect them to be out of your life. Ranting a little here, back to the point. I understand your situation i’m not much of a social creature, i have my little group of friends buts thats it, i don’t like crouds. I too have broken ties with others before, we’re still friendly, but not very close anymore. Its OK to feel your moving on, but try not to hurt your friends.

i heard a qoute one that said something like…

he who is friends to many is friends to none,
he who is friends to few is a good friend to all

Simply, if you’re happy, then why are you worrying about it? Grab on with both hands and don’t let that happiness slip away.
-SilenceIsPain

I’ve been worrying about the SAME EXACT thing!!! A year and a half ago, I was out with different friends about four or five nights out of the week. Not partying or anything…but you know, just hanging out, going places. I’ve never been that kind of social person but I found a group of friends in college at the art building that just kept growing. I loved finding so many people I could relate with..and I never had that many friends before. But time kept going..and then I met my boyfriend..and I wanted to spend all my time with him because I wanted to get to know him more and more…then suddenly..I FINALLY got lucky and landed a full time job…and it’s in the city my b/f lives in (because I’m planning on moving to that city soon to get back into college) so I’m over with him most of the time. And I’m spending time with my family the rest of the time. I’m actually happy with it now..but it took alittle while to get used to the idea of not really hanging out with friends much at all..and the idea that I really don’t have many close friends at all anymore. I just don’t really have the time anymore. Some of them are unhappy with me now because of this, but others are happy for me for getting my life into shape. They’re just going to have to get used to it, because they’ll be going through the same things before long.

well i am in ur position i think at time the less the marrier. not the other way around seriously at times having too much friends will distroy you and also it makes you not really hav friends and yadi yado yadi . and hav a good day i hav alot to say but i’m rushing soooooo toodles

it just means your growing up and that is a good thing

its not bad if u dont give them the same attention u used 2 give them and start seeing other ppl as long as u dont hurt them u should try knowing other ppl

I too have had the same friends for a while (for the past four years, through all of high school) but I can feel us drifting apart, including me and best friend who goes to college with me. In my situation, I’m trying to make some friends who share similar interests and have more common ground with me and that in turn is making me happy. I’m definitely not feeling devastated by any means.

I would say that it is fine to have just a few close friends and be happy. True friendship is rare and having a lot of people you call friends isn’t necessarily better. As long as you’re happy there’s no need to worry about how many friends you have, and it’s certainly no reason to worry about not feeling devastated.

Good luck with the transition and just do what makes you happy!

no im was like that before Max and agian after what had happened but if ur happy thats all that matters

It doesn’t matter if you were alone or with friends , what only matters is you to be happy .

LOL i kno thats what i said

if your happy, then theres no problem, is there?
you just need to take into consideration, that maybe your friends’ devistation will cause you unhappyness.

Just stay happy. Does it really matter WHY you’re happy (as long as you’re not hurting anybody)?

no it is not i have a few friends and i am so happy

Good. :) Our work here is done.

I think you can be perfectly happy with only a handful of friends if they are real friends. Many young people nowadays tend to have too many friends, but you cannot be close friends with too many people. So, I think, this is the case when ‘less is more’, mainly if you are a ‘loner’ and don’t prefer noisy social gatherings.

Absolutely not! Friends aren’t necessarily needed for happiness.

If you find and keep one friend in your lifetime you are truly blessed. if ur lonely talk to us, go to youtube.com and type in your fav song, or go to redbubble.com and read and/or write,draw, and sell. give me a shout and let me know what ya think.

I used to have a lot of friends, and now i have very few but the ones that i have are truly friends. Friends don’t make you whole. you do. Cherish the true friends that you have. And don’t take your family for granted because when it comes down to it they are your true friends.