guy help: ..Here goes. - Help.com



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..Here goes.

‘Start Here. Ask a question, post a rant, tell us your story.’
That’s what it says. Riight there.
..I don’t know where to start.

Let’s start with my problem.
Um.
I’m not who I want to be.
I keep on getting these dreams.
In a more practical problem;
I don’t dance anymore.
..But did I ever really /dance/? In the way that I’m thinking of now..?
Hm. Maybe starting with my problem doesn’t really work. Hence the lack of knowing what my problem is.

Well. What do I know.
I know that I keep on thinking that round this next corner, I’ll find… It.. him.. them..
I don’t really know what I’m looking for anymore.
Me?
Probably.
Meh. Maybe what I know doesn’t work either.

Okayokay. This isn’t making any sense.
I know I’m lost.
I’m just another lost, teenage kid with too many dreams.
Sometime back I knew who I was.
I remember it well.
I have really, /really/ clear memories of it…
My thoughts sounded just like they do in those teen books.
Carefree.
Those thoughts didn’t think too much.
I started my journal in the back end of that ‘carefree’ stage of my life. And I’ve read it back. And it sounds so perfect.
..

I guess one day I’ll look back at this and laugh. ..Or cry.
If it all turns out how I hope it will.
But where has hoping got me?
..I don’t even know why I’m writing this.
I guess I just feel like I have no one to talk to.
I haven’t even explained my problem yet.
Probably because I don’t even understand it myself.
..But you’ve read this far.

Gah. I’ve seen it happen so many times before.
Perfect girls with perfectly broken wings.
Their perfect guy comes and picks them up and. they. soar..
But I guess I don’t want a perfect guy.
Not really.
And of course, being me, those wings aren’t so perfectly broken, are they?
They’re not really broken at all.
I guess, for all purposes of this metaphor, my wings just don’t work anymore. I’ve forgotten how to fly.
Yes. That’s how it works.

Heh. That reminds me of another metaphor I made up once..
But that was back when I had Irana.
..I know I still have Irana.
But the songs don’t feel real anymore.

..I think I’ll leave it here.
Thanks for reading, whoever you are.

This open post was written 1 year, 3 months ago | V/U/S: 117, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Dream, dance, broken, MetaphoR, Sound, Wing, Thought, guy, Read, Perfect, dreams, lost (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 1 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 3 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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OK2BU offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 27 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 3 months ago (2 hours, 51 minutes after post)

I enjoyed reading your stream of consciousness, found a lot of gems of enlightenment and profound insight.
I see a lot of extraordinary hidden in your ordinary words… We sometimes do not have to look for a problem, there are problems everywhere in life, so try to not sweat the small stuff, enjoy the moments, make your moments and get up and dance, dance alone in your room, dance out the door and down the street. I’m thinking you’re a great dancer… like you can’t tell the difference between the dancer from the dance…
You know when we fall off our bike, we really don’t forget how to ride, we kinda get back on and start riding again, why because we just love riding our bike… so from your word I get that there is sunshine just ready to burst through the clouds. And I’m betting that you haven’t forgotten really how to dance or fly. Your wings are still there, they are in your words and the dance well that in your feet….

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