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ill listen!
whats going on?
I met a boy.
Correction.
My friend met a boy on the internet and now i know him too.
And im kinda sorta in love with him.
oh okay. is your friend in love with him too?
Quite.
And he loves us both back.
We want him to choose.
And he’s having a hard time, because from my point of view, and from his, we’re both amazing girls.
And all the stress has caused his depression to flare up, and hes suicidal.
Again.
oh dear.. well dont make him choose. tell him that he doesnt have to! if its gonna make him suicidal its not worth it!just comfort him as much as possible!
He wants to choose as well.
We’re trying to be patient with him; he wants to chose next May.
And he’s been suicidal for a while, but every time we talk to him we end up saying some mundane thing that sets him off and then hes all sad and everything. We try to cheer him up.
My friend and i are friendly in competition, and we both care about him deeply, so we work together while we compete for him.
Its confusing, and i dont have anyone to confide in anymore.
Is this a long distance thing?
kaidragon wrote:
Is this a long distance thing?
yes
I’m sorry, but that seems pretty childish. May i ask how old the you all are?
just out of curiosity, why next may?
for now though just tell him to forget about it and relax. he needs to know that there’s not pressure on him and he should get his mind on other things!
kaidragon wrote:
I’m sorry, but that seems pretty childish. May i ask how old the you all are?
my friend is 17, the boy is 16, and i am 16.
and yes, i know it seems childish, but at least me and my friend arent attacking each other during school… we’re not stupid like that.
angel_devil09 wrote:
just out of curiosity, why next may?for now though just tell him to forget about it and relax. he needs to know that there’s not pressure on him and he should get his mind on other things!
He turns 17 next May, i guess it seems important to him. And i go to visit him about a month later.
and ive tried to tell him “no pressure”. Hes just… really stubborn and weird like that. like he wants to worry all the time.
Long distant relationships are no substitute for normal guy/girl interaction. Try finding someone in school sweetheart. Or do both. What i’m trying to say is internet relationships have little meaning comparatively.
does he have anxiety? cause that would be a good reason for hwy he worries all the time..its not that he wants to worry all the time. he just cant help it if anxiety is the case…
Angel, it’s cute how you baby people.
kaidragon wrote:
Angel, it’s cute how you baby people.
i baby people??? haha
typical girl, in my opinion, this guy doesn’t seem to offer much in a real relationship. I would like to see him
kaidragon wrote:
Long distant relationships are no substitute for normal guy/girl interaction. Try finding someone in school sweetheart. Or do both. What i’m trying to say is internet relationships have little meaning comparatively.
sorry. but i need to laugh. haha. alright. um, people in my school, i live in a small, southern town, and the people around here are rednecks and perverts. I’d rather go out of town to find someone better.
angel_devil09 wrote:
does he have anxiety? cause that would be a good reason for hwy he worries all the time..its not that he wants to worry all the time. he just cant help it if anxiety is the case…
Im the one with the anxiety disorder >:[
in my eyes he has no excuse, other than depression, and i think AD is worse than depression
I know what you mean Setsu. I felt like dating anyone from my high school would be like settling for what was available. If that’s the case you should wait for college then. You will def. meet someone in college if you try.
Setsunakino wrote:
angel_devil09 wrote:
does he have anxiety? cause that would be a good reason for hwy he worries all the time..its not that he wants to worry all the time. he just cant help it if anxiety is the case…
Im the one with the anxiety disorder >:[in my eyes he has no excuse, other than depression, and i think AD is worse than depression
i dunno… i have both and i dont think that one is worse than the other..
Angel, you should change your avvy unless you like the attention you get from adolescent boys. You’re attracting the wrong qualities.
I should have probably shouted that to you.. ^_^
angel_devil09 wrote:
Setsunakino wrote:
angel_devil09 wrote:
does he have anxiety? cause that would be a good reason for hwy he worries all the time..its not that he wants to worry all the time. he just cant help it if anxiety is the case…
Im the one with the anxiety disorder >:[in my eyes he has no excuse, other than depression, and i think AD is worse than depression
i dunno… i have both and i dont think that one is worse than the other..
well yeah, in that case its like a double whammy, and im sorry for you, ive gone through depressing bouts too and it sucks.
kaidragon wrote:
I know what you mean Setsu. I felt like dating anyone from my high school would be like settling for what was available. If that’s the case you should wait for college then. You will def. meet someone in college if you try.
Well sure, I’ll go to college and look, but i just really wanted to talk to someone about this.. its confusing and i dont feel like i can talk to anyone anymore
Setsu,i wouldn’t wry about it if i were you. It’s not worth the trouble. Make the decision easy on the kid.
kaidragon wrote:
Setsu,i wouldn’t wry about it if i were you. It’s not worth the trouble. Make the decision easy on the kid.
… i dont want to give in though.
I know it seems stupid to say this, but so far hes the best guy that ive met, and if he likes me back then i dont really wanna give in so easily
ack sorry! internet cut out.
how long have you guys been talking? like are you 100% sure you like him? cause if hes going through all this stress and chooses you and you realize you dont like him, wheres that gonna put him?
kaidragon wrote:
I know what you mean Setsu. I felt like dating anyone from my high school would be like settling for what was available. If that’s the case you should wait for college then. You will def. meet someone in college if you try.
that is true. I grew up in a small town, and most of the guys were either really creepy or taken, but i got to college, and things change a lot. Just let him know that you are going to be there no matter what. Are you sure your ready for that kind of relationship, if he is suicidal, maybe he doesnt need a relationship. I’d stay friends for a while
What you’ve done is used your prefontal cortex to simulate a relationship. Don’t wry it happens all the time, and girls have a particularly hard time with this. But the fact is nothing is coming from talking to this guy. So it would be best to end it. You’ll thank me later. If not, well then i’ve said my piece and i can stop arguing it now. W/e you choose. Good Luck and i wish you happiness
wow, that was a smart answer kaid. :). I’d say move on too, and offer your friendship if he needs it.
Thanks Kayla. I understand exactly where Setsu is coming from though. When you don’t have anyone you rly want to at least have someone to talk to. I’ve been there. and there is no easy way around it rly. people need people.
angel,
we’ve been talking since june of this year, and about a week in i realized he was WAY different from any other guy, within July i was thinking that i was in love with him, and now i’d do anything for him.
I am 100% sure that I would always be there for him, no matter what. And if he choses me, and then i give up, hed go back to my friend. After my friend got rid of him, then he’d be screwed… but thats part of life.
Kayla,
He says that he wants one, despite all the pressure and stress its putting on him, and i dont like to argue with him, and if he choses me then its a benefit for me and id love to baby him to death.
Kai,
I feel as though im running around in circles with him, deffinetly, but… i still wanna be there for him
He has to be able to handle rejection. Don’t let him use depression as something to affect your decisions. that’s just not right. You can still be there for him as friends. None of that over the internet ‘i love you’ business. That’s not love, i’d hate to say.
Bitter Sweet
mostly bitter internet love
kaidragon wrote:
He has to be able to handle rejection. Don’t let him use depression as something to affect your decisions. that’s just not right. You can still be there for him as friends. None of that over the internet ‘i love you’ business. That’s not love, i’d hate to say. Bitter Sweetmostly bitter internet love
nahh, i feel weird saying that i love him anyway.
but there is the potential for it.
If he’s actually a boy and not a yetti…
kaidragon wrote:
If he’s actually a boy and not a yetti…
lol
So everyone’s advice is just “stop caring” ?
..Can you handle that Setsu
well personalyl i wouldnt say “stop caring” keep caring but just give him a bit of space for a while. remain friends and help him through it but dont necssarily push him to choose between oyu guys or anything…
kaidragon wrote:
..Can you handle that Setsu
no, personally, i dont think i could just up and stop caring about him. at all. freaking emotional beast right here. i form stupid attatchments quickly and strongly.
angel_devil09 wrote:
well personalyl i wouldnt say “stop caring” keep caring but just give him a bit of space for a while. remain friends and help him through it but dont necssarily push him to choose between oyu guys or anything…
im not pushing him to chose now, im fine with being friends. hes my best friend right now, and i dont want that to ever change.
well thast a good attitude then.
keep it like that for a while and see how things go! thats my advice =)
ok, but can you keep it as friends? its not easy to push feelings aside. It may be easier to make a clean break
Niccolo Machiavelli once wrote in his book ‘the prince.’ If you have something bad to do. Do it quickly. I think he was right. Many people lived by his philosophies.
kaidragon wrote:
Niccolo Machiavelli once wrote in his book ‘the prince.’ If you have something bad to do. Do it quickly. I think he was right. Many people lived by his philosophies.
alright, so what is it that i ‘have to do”?
and does anyone know anyways to help someone calm down? cus im talking to the boy right now, and hes in one of his “moods” =[
Tell him to man up.. ^_^
j/k
although that’s what i would do
just tell him to take slow, deep breaths and relax his mind.
tell him everythings gonna be okay and youll always be here for him
alright guys.
thanks.
I dont really think i expected someone to come up with an answer, it was nice to just have someone listen.
Thanks =]
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