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That is NO EXCUSS!!

He can go out and leave the house if he wants!! Sorry, but that’s just pathetic.

Sounds to me that he’s very jealous that you have this job. He obviously feels he’s less important because he’s not doing anything with is life.

Men these days are quite spiteful because women bring in more money. Men like to feel they’re needed by supporting their family, but that’s NO excussto cheat and lie!

He needs a good kick in the ring!

I hope you handle it the best you can. It’s not your problem that he feels alone when you’re working. He can ket off he bl00dy ar*e and have a life too! Thats if you choose to forgive hime now.

xx

so its YOUR fault! I can’t type fast enought to voice my utter disgust at his total lack of owning up to HIS cheating. Obviously there is a lot more going on here in your marriage. My husband (of 5 yrs, together 17) cheated on me when I was 16. He has not done it again and I don’t believe he would. If he did, I would have to leave. I would never trust him again. YOu need to ask yourself if you deep down right now think you could ever have a good marriage after this. If yes, you need to find out with your husband what lead to this. And you going on a frigging trip is not it. I just want to strangle him for saying it is your fault. I need more people to chime in. This is infuriating me. HIS fault, and ONLY HIS fault! Maybe your fault too on why the marriage is in trouble but it is HIS FAULT ONLY for cheating. ARRGH! What the h is wrong with people today.

pillsburydogir wrote:
so its YOUR fault! I can’t type fast enought to voice my utter disgust at his total lack of owning up to HIS cheating.

lol
I know how that felt pillsbury.

Now, back to the subject,

What a guy, what courage.
What a definition of “love”.

QUOTE:
“He says he loves me and the reason he did it was I was always doing things and while he was sitting at home doing nothing he felt alone.”

Yeah, so everytime he said “I love you”, thats what he meant.

And the million dollar question, Anon:

“Do you believe its your fault?”

Oh my….thank you. Thank you for the quick responses.

I do own up to taking him for granted and being away alot. I can only imagine that I would have felt neglected too. I guess I did in my own little way. The fact that he doesn’t like to talk about ANYTHING. So I never knew just how much it bothered him.
I really am looking for someone to tell me what to do. I know I know. That can’t and won’t happen. But my world is just upside down. I do love him. But I hurt so much it kinda clouds it up.

I appreciate any and all insight
thank you

“Do you believe its your fault?”

Yes and no.
Like Pillsbury said both responsible for trouble prior to…HE on the other hand chose to fall into her lap so to speak.

It kinda makes me sad because I thought we had a perfect kinda love. Honest to goodness. We were different. We were not like the rest….
I begin to question if I even know what love really is.

Avon,

An “affair”….thats messed up, there is a lack of respect towards you and the relationship.

avon4theres wrote:
The fact that he doesn’t like to talk about ANYTHING. So I never knew just how much it bothered him.

Very bad lack of communication on his part, no excuse. He just didnt want to tell you it did bother him, he decided to do something else and see if he could get away with it.

Any children?

avon4theres wrote:
…I begin to question if I even know what love really is.

You probably do, he definitely doesnt.

avon4theres wrote:
…both responsible for trouble prior to…

What kind of troubles “prior to” would push him to close up (comunication wise) and decide to have an affair?

The only children we have are a cat and dog.

Stay or Go.

Those are your choices.

If you stay, you probably need to get marriage counselling. If he won’t join you, go by yourself. But no matter what, if you stay, you need to get over it and let it completely go. No throwing it in his face everytime you argue, no talk of revenge or “fairness” or trying to check on his every move.

If you go, do it soon. Don’t make him think you’re working it out then spring it on him one day. Just make it clear his behavior was unacceptable, and move on as quickly as you can. Again, skip the revenge and the punishments and recriminations. Just pack your own belongings and let him fade into your past.

how was your marriage beforehand