Love help: Confused about love. - Help.com



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Confused about love.

I recently came back from a three month volunteer stint in Ecuador where I fell in love. Before I left me and my boyfriend (well ex bf technically) of 8 yrs were working through some problems and things were finally getting better. The thing is for 8 years he was bad. He couldn’t hold down a job, he gambled, and just really irresponsible, but his love for me was undeniable and I knew it would never change. So while I was gone I met someone and fell in love. But I came back hoping that I would be able to give my relationship another chance. Now my ex has changed completely, has a great job, great new place to live, looks better and has completely done a turn around for my sake because I promised him one more chance. I’m in love with the guy in Ecuador. I can’t stop thinking about him. But my ex is persistent and thinks I should give him a chance. I’m confused and I have mixed emotions because I’m in love with someone so far away (which is working through phone convos) and my ex whom i’ve always loved, but i’m just not in love with anymore. Should I give him that chance? Should I just listen to my heart? I need some advice.
-Really Sad

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 176, 13, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Kosh offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 minute after post)

hello how are you ?

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Anonymous edited this post 3 months ago. Read the previous text »

Hi. I recently came back from a three month volunteer stint in Ecuador where I fell in love. Before I left me and my boyfriend (well ex bf technically) of 8 yrs were working through some problems and things were finally getting better. The thing is for 8 years he was bad. He couldn’t hold down a job, he gambled, and just really irresponsible, but his love for me was undeniable and I knew it would never change. So while I was gone I met someone and fell in love. But I came back hoping that I would be able to give my relationship another chance. Now my ex has changed completely, has a great job, great new place to live, looks better and has completely done a turn around for my sake because I promised him one more chance. I’m in love with the guy in Ecuador. I can’t stop thinking about him. But my ex is persistent and thinks I should give him a chance. I’m confused and I have mixed emotions because I’m in love with someone so far away (which is working through phone convos) and my ex whom i’ve always loved, but i’m just not in love with anymore. Should I give him that chance? Should I just listen to my heart? I need some advice.
-Really Sad

Adrenaline! offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (11 minutes after post)

If u are absolutly not in love with ur ex-bf anymore.. Then I see no reason to give that relationship another chance.. U should listen to ur heart then.

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Cezza offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (14 minutes after post)

It’s hard to give up something you’ve worked so hard at for years to work.. But not being in love anymore says something. If you stay with you ex boyfriend, do you think you would ever be happy?

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Confused311 offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (15 minutes after post)

The funny thing is…I really do think I would be happy with him now. That’s why it’s really tough.

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Anonymous #
3 months ago (23 minutes after post)

weigh your happiness.. this is a tuffy!

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Kosh offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (27 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
weigh your happiness.. this is a tuffy!

how can you measure human emotion ?

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Cezza offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (33 minutes after post)

you can’t.. but sometimes you have to start thinking with your head, not your heart.. you can never predict an outcome of a relationship. You can take past behaviour into concideration.
Could you realy be happy in this relatioship if the love never returns?

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Kosh offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (37 minutes after post)

i would because my situation is diffrent but i see the point in your logic but then you are right ? Need to take a recap and a big rain check ? on my own affairs

Cezza wrote:
you can’t.. but sometimes you have to start thinking with your head, not your heart.. you can never predict an outcome of a relationship. You can take past behaviour into concideration.
Could you realy be happy in this relatioship if the love never returns?

Dam but isnt love love even if its not resipitated back at ya ?

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Confused311 offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (41 minutes after post)

It’s so hard.

I’m sure the love would return if I gave it a chance. But i’m in love with someone else. We spent every day/night together for 3 months. That might seem like nothing compared to 8 years but that’s why this is soooo tough. How can I give up something I’ve always wanted?

sigh

is too much love a problem? should i be complaining?

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miyoshi_197 offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

Weigh out your options, do some research, then follow your heart. If your heart and mind says the same then go for it.

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Dougie the Pisces online Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (7 hours, 52 minutes after post)

Listen to your heart!

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