guy help: Is it wrong to go out with a guy whom you’re not attracted to, but you know is perfect for you? - Help.com

if you dont like him, dont be with him it wont work and its stink on the guy

If you don’t actually like him then yes it is wrong and immoral of you to go out with him.

How do you know?

Why *are* you with him, if you aren’t attracted to him? I think you’re blurring the line between friendship and boyfriend here. And, he can’t be perfect for you if you don’t fancy him, I’m afraid.

experience_drive wrote:
“How do you know?”
“Is it wrong to go out with a guy whom you’re not attracted to, but you know is perfect for you?”

How i know is i read all of what she wrote!

She didn’t say she wasn’t physically attracted to him. She said she just wasnt attracted to him. So there was no need to pick me up on my comments if you are going to reply with false info!

when the term ‘perfect’ is used… well, it’s pretty obvious is it not?
how many others here that has had the privilege to have met someone ‘perfect’ (and willing to go out with you, of course)?

experience_drive wrote:
“She didn’t say she wasn’t physically attracted to him. She said she just wasnt attracted to him. So there was no need to pick me up on my comments if you are going to reply with false info!”

I am not your enemy, whoever you are frustrated at save it for them please thank you. First she stated that he was perfect for her i deduced that to mean she likes him as a person. when she said attracted she meant physical it is hardly my fault you did not see that as it seems more than obvious. I am not one of your bickering buddies you ask me a question i answered you.

As did I my dear. Being attracted to someone does not just take into account physical attraction for there is intellectual and emotional attraction to be included.

Physical attraction is not the only participating factor in a relationship or with a person who is perceived to be a potential mate, and if it is. Then that is shallow.

I have no interest in bickering, only you need to not pick up things that you disagree with about people and ‘lol’ at them, because I am not wrong. my opinion is what i percieve, it is neither right or wrong.

get a room already

experience_drive wrote:
lol if you read the sentence it is obvious by how she states it she meant physical are you being obtuse purposefully, and please do not call me dear. It seems to me you are looking for a point of contention and quite frankly i am not interested. Is this your post how about we both concentrate here on who is asking for help and not one another.

I’m not even going to bother replying to the rest. It is not obvious she meant physical at all. That could of been a factor and that MAY be the factor. But what gives you the right to ‘lol’ and cuss people because you believe differently than them? What gives you the right to insult me because I have seen something differerently than yourself?

As for calling me obtuse, I am going to report you. Name calling is NOT allowed on this site and discussions can be made without them. There is no need to be rude or personal towards me. You have no idea of my mental capacity or my personality and what I am like. So don’t make empty judgements based on your own hatefulness.

Oh no, I didn’t want to start arguments :-(

You’re both right though, I didn’t make it obvious I meant physical attraction, but it is what I implied. I’m attracted to everything else about him, just not physically. I just don’t get how it’s possible to want to be with someone when you’re not physically attracted!

You didn’t start an argument. Its not your fault sweetie.

When you say you aren’t physically attracted to him, do you mean-you just don’t feel that physical connection with him or that you think he’s ugly so you don’t find him attractive?

Oh no, I don’t think he’s ugly, he’s cute. I feel shallow for believing that I need to think he’s drop dead gorgeous before I’d feel right about going out with him. I’m a horrible person :-(

Well it is kinda shallow if you are basing it on looks BUT…at the end of the day if your not attracted then thats not your fault. It just kinda happens.
Now that you’ve explained the way you feel it probably is best if you don’t go out with him, go with someone who you feel right with.

Going out with a guy is wrong. Whether he is attracted to you or not, whether he is perfect match for you or not.

And the reason being?

The problem a lot of people are going to have with this post is that it makes you sound really shallow saying that you want this guy to be attractive. Unfortunate, in this day and age, people don’t realize that its a necessary part of a loving relationship. You need to be committed, you need to have intimacy, and finally you need passion. Passion relies a lot physical attractiveness, not to the world but to you. That is something that can build and grow, but a relationship becomes difficult when you don’t see it.

experience_drive wrote:
“Oh no, I don’t think he’s ugly, he’s cute. I feel shallow for believing that I need to think he’s drop dead gorgeous before I’d feel right about going out with him. I’m a horrible person :-( “

You think he’s cute and perfect for you? why would you not go out with him? really your listening to much to self motivated strangers than to yourself here. You like this guy for a reason.

You’re right. I’m meeting him tonight and I can’t wait! Thank you for your advice :-D

Im sorry, I feel like this young girl is shallow. Her boyfriend needs to be drop dead gorgeous before she’d feel right about going out with him. In a sigh she sais shes a horrible person. She’s not attracted. Now he’s cute suddenly, and she’s off. Your good intentions were dashed by a flighty young girl.

Experience driver, I found you to be rude in debate with Ell, maybe you could explain yourself in a more polite manner.

ooh lala comes in many forms, not just within your eyesight. Something isn’t clicking perhaps. Something about him isn’t ringing her bell, or perhaps they are just still getting comfortable with eachother.

Everyone needs at time to explain themselves, are you above everyone?

Yes, you are in a class of your own.

But this young girl is just figuring out relationship and what works and doesn’t for her. She is just starting out and no need for adults to be rude about it. This is just another passage in this young girls life. Ease up Experience driver.

wow… i have read through the comments and can not believe that there is arguing and name calling from experience_drive.

experience_drive, EVERYONE is entitled to have THEIR OWN OPINIONS… it does not constitute you to come here and be rude and offensive. ITS JUST AN OPINION for gods sake… grow up.. we are here for the posters… not to argue..

i have reported you as well, because ell is right.. name calling is NOT ALLOWED… and not only has the poster requested the fight to stop, so has ell and others…

‘have a good day’