It’s NOT ok; Respect is like Love in the way we must love ourselves in order to be able to Love others.
To receive respect from others we must have self-respect. If your a parent it as a must have especially in raising children. I recently learned this within the last couple years and our lives , my children and their children have been all the better for it. It has increased the quality of all our relationships to a level never imaginable. Just like we can Love our parents and vice-versa but at the same time we don’t ‘like’ them , the same applies to respect. We should respect our parents because they gave us life but we tend to lose respect for them as we grow when we begin to see the contradictions by example. For instance I apologized to my son-in -law for yelling at him, he then said’ Oh, that’s ok , we all get like that sometimes. But it’s not ok and he , we, should not dismiss it as such. I can remember many times when I said those same words to others. Now I see the great importance in attaining and maintaining respect. Not only because our children learn by example but how it effects all our relationships, our relationship with ourselves included. But how do we get it if we don’t have it or need more of it? The answer to this is found in wemon. As wemon, not all , and men too ,but mostly wemon for generations have ‘put themselves last and this is where we have faltered. Our nurturing nature, although well intended and admirable and learned behavior, by example, have put us in this place where we end up with rebellious teens for the most part. But the fallacy is not ‘ the teen years’ . It is the teen years when it begins to rear it’s ugly head. When a child is becoming more independent, realistic to the worlds ways, and developing their own belief system along with their own individual opinions. The bottom line is , if we want well behaved children we first need to respect ourselves. They will in turn respect us thus having created a good relationship or at least a good foundation for others to come. It really concerns me to hear a child say the hate their parent(s). And in the same breath express their love for their boyfriend or girlfriend. to me it is a oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. Any person who claims this does clearly not have a full understanding of the meaning of ‘LOVE’. Which dooms their future relationships from the start. This sad yet true fact is indeed very sad. This is not to say it is too late because it is not, I don’t believe it’s ever too late to teach our children. This brings me to another concern where the parent actually gives up on the child, mostly this is done when legal age comes or when the child goes into the world alone, which ever comes first. But again, that is not where the problem(s) began. This began every time they heard someone belittle themselves by uttering those 2 words ‘It’s ok’. No, its NOT ok. It is detrimental to ourselves and others to disrespect ourselves . It needs to begin with learning to first accept ourselves, then to like ourselves , then to Love ourselves. And then we will have the capabilities to say instead ‘ I was hurt by it but I accept your apology’ and move on. When I apologized to my son-in- law that day I could see my granddaughter growing as a human being. I know what I did has made her a happier person to not only see her and her father she adores finally getting along. I think it gave her a sense of security and a peace that was not there prior to that incident. I end with these reminder; Not only children, ours or others but all people , ourselves included learn from each other by example more than anything so we need to be careful of our choice of words, they have power to hurt and diminish our self-worth as well as heal. And lastly never give up on others, yourself included. We are all in the learning process we call LIfe. Respect, try it you might like it. Richard adds this important piece below “Integrity is the greatest tool to self respect and the respect of others.”
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It’s NOT ok; Respect is like Love in the way we must love ourselves in order to be able to Love others. To receive respect from others we must have self-respect. If your a parent it as a must have especially in raising children. I recently learned this within the last couple years and our lives , my children and their children have been all the better for it. It has increased the quality of all our relationships to a level never imaginable. Just like we can Love our parents and vice-versa but at the same time we don’t ‘like’ them , the same applies to respect. We should respect our parents because they gave us life but we tend to lose respect for them as we grow when we begin to see the contradictions by example. For instance I apologized to my son-in -law for yelling at him, he then said’ Oh, that’s ok , we all get like that sometimes. But it’s not ok and he , we, should not dismiss it as such. I can remember many times when I said those same words to others. Now I see the great importance in attaining and maintaining respect. Not only because our children learn by example but how it effects all our relationships, our relationship with ourselves included. But how do we get it if we don’t have it or need more of it? The answer to this is found in wemon. As wemon, not all , and men too ,but mostly wemon for generations have ‘put themseves last and this is where we have faltered. Our nurturing nature, although well intended and admirable and learned behavior, by example, have put us in this place where we end up with rebellious teens for the most part. But the fallacy is not ‘ the teen years’ . It is the teen years when it begins to rear it’s ugly head. When a child is becoming more independent, realistic to the worlds ways, and developing their own belief system along with their own individual opinions. The bottom line is , if we want well behaved children we first need to respect ourselves. They will in turn respect us thus having created a good relationship or at least a good foundation for others to come. It really concerns me to hear a child say the hate their parent(s). And in the same breath express their love for their boyfriend or girlfriend. to me it is a oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. Any person who claims this does clearly not have a full understanding of the meaning of ‘LOVE’. Which dooms their future relationships from the start. This sad yet true fact is indeed very sad. This is not to say it is too late because it is not, I don’t believe it’s ever too late to teach our children. This brings me to another concern where the parent actually gives up on the child, mostly this is done when legal age comes or when the child goes into the world alone, which ever comes first. But again, that is not where the problem(s) began. This began every time they heard someone belittle themselves by uttering those 2 words ‘It’s ok’. No, its NOT ok. It is detrimental to ourselves and others to disrespect ourselves . It needs to begin with learning to first accept ourselves, then to like ourselves , then to Love ourselves. And then we will have the capabilities to say instead ‘ I was hurt by it but I accept your apology’ and move on. When I apologized to my son-in- law that day I could see my granddaughter growing as a human being. I know what I did has made her a happier person to not only see her and her father she adores finally getting along. I think it gave her a sense of security and a peace that was not there prior to that incident. I end with these reminder; Not only children, ours or others but all people , ourselves included learn from each other by example more than anything so we need to be careful of our choice of words, they have power to hurt and diminish our self-worth as well as heal. And lastly never give up on others, yourself included. We are all in the learning process we call LIfe. Respect, try it you might like it.
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