Year help: Over the years I have gotten fat. - Help.com

Have you ever sat down and had an actual talk with your husband about how you feel? How much he hurts you? For all you no he might not even know that hes doing this to you. If you have and he just keeps brushing you off and hes putting you and your daughters last then theres obviously something wrong there. Try counciling or if worse comes to worse theres always the option of divorce. Stand up for yourself and never let anyone have such harmful power over you. Alwayslove yourself and remember what you are worth. Hes lucky to have you not the other way around.

I suggest u focus on ur priority list. For u, ur sanity’s important, and ur daughters’ peace is important. So on ur part, u should just try n lay off. Not approving of her behaviour, or even despising it shd be just that… loathe her for all u want. But dont let urself become bitter. She is the way she is, and she’s imp to ur husband. Accept it. Because u cant change it, and u shdnt either. Respect their feelings, even if its insanity to u. Sticking up for urself would make no sense if u’re doing it for someone who defies logic.. so why waste ur energy? stay peaceful with the knowledge that u are who u are and who u were meant to be. U’re perfect the way u are, coz God meant u to be this way. Thats peace for u, and that shd be the ultimate truth. Let nothing else change u on the inside.

Marriage counseling can be beneficial, especially in circumstances like this. Like the above said, you can’t change your husband’s relationship with his mother, or your his mother’s views, but you can change how you internalize all of this, and you can change your husband’s understanding of how he and his mother are impacting you and your daughters. You and your children have to come first. I’m normally not a pro-divorce person, especially if younger children are involved, so I really do suggest marriage counseling. Without clinging to the past if its just not there anymore, do try to remember why you married this man to begin with and approach the situation with that in mind, from that angle.

Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone My children are adults now in their twenties.We are in our late 50’s. I dont want to divorce him. He is a good man but you see his dad died when he was very young so his mother is really all he knows. But she has always been domineering and bossy like a general. But now after all these years it’s like we are roomates. I have not worked since my daughters were born so I need a job and I don’t know what to do with my self anymore, I’m like a dinosauer. Out of the loop. So I feel so dependent and I can’t believe I let this happen to me.

If you don’t think you could be in a divorce this late in the game, think again. There are people who have been married over 30 years who have divorced. Now, first of all I’m going to tell you that it is never wise to have a bad relationship with your mother-in-law. They may be annoying, and they may be irritating, but they are the husband’s mother. You cannot ask him to just ditch his mother. So she makes fun of fat people and she’s bossy . . . there are NO perfect mothers-in-law out there! I really do suggest marriage counseling because your unhappiness may eventually unhinge your marriage. You seem to feel a lot of resentment toward your husband, and he has probably picked up on it much more than you know. If you don’t get your feelings for your husband back on track, you are courting marital disaster. You could be served divorce papers “out of the blue.” Don’t let it happen to you!

Did your husband ever reassure you he liked you the way you are or were, and he married you no matter how you looked? Did he continue to be affectionate and loving towards you, especially when you put on a little more weight? What about you? Did you reassure him of your love and did you care for his needs? Or you just hang on one thing that his mother made hurtful comments about you and you took it out on your husband? Tell us a little more so we can help you.

There’s a show called Dr. Phil. I’m sure you’ve heard of it and others called opera and other shows like that. Watching these shows tells you from other people’s point of perspective what it was like for them to experience these feelings and situations. You should try watching them. Millions of people world wide watch it.