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Moving to a different city for a girl?
I went out one night for a friend’s birthday and I met the most amazing girl. She was from out of town and I was living in NYC. We ended up hanging out for two days, had amazing conversation - I had never felt such an immediate connection to someone so quick before.
When she left I was very melancholy. About a week later we started talking. Since then we’ve talked about every night, and we have visited each other multiple times [about 6], for up to a week. I met her parents; she met mine. Our personalities click, we have the same humor, share the same politics; she is very witty and smart, and always puts a smile on my face. I really think she is a beautiful girl. She has an amazing way of always making me smile. I have been seeing her [long distance] for about 6 months. We told each other that we love one another after 3. I felt it after she left me for the first time.
I’m 26, have an established career, although had a few jobs, I’m not quite settled into my current employment situation. She is 23. Just finished with grad school and moving to Chicago. We had jokingly mentioned in the beginning that I should just move up to Chicago after she relocates in September. It actually didn’t take me that long to consider, and I told her that I really want to be with her, and that I think I should.
I’ve been very careful with actually moving from one city to another, especially for another person. Obviously there are some other reasons to move, such as the cost-of-living being significantly cheaper than my current situation, I’ve always wanted to live in another city, and of course I’m in love with her.
However, something has concerned me the last couple of weeks. What do I really know about her? I mean, we’ve very intimate with each other, have had very serious conversations, and have spent multiple weeks with just each other company. I feel like I do know, but I really don’t. Like little things that you just learn naturally in the progression of a conventional relationship. How does she act like around her friends? Act around other guys? I’ve probed her [slightly] and she reassures me that she thinks she is the same person.
Am I being completely naïve? I’m desperately trying to use my heart and most importantly, my brain in making this decision. I’m in no rush to move out [was think 2-3 months], but I don’t want to be a cliché statistic of relationship that fails after moving to a new city. I truly feel it in my heart that I love her, and I could see myself marrying her one-day. She has said all the right things [and I do believe her] to assuage my concerns – but my mentality is to always have doubts and be cynical. I’m also a little concerned with her friendship with her ex. Don’t get me wrong, I know people do it all the time. She has never done anything for me not to trust her, however, I know that she is still younger than me, likes to go out and have a good time [alcohol is the root of all evil]. Part of me feels like I would be taking away this great time in her life as she adjusts from college to the real world. She keeps telling me that she just wants me to be there in her life.
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