Love help: I love one of my best friends but..

daretodream

Chicago, IL, US

I love one of my best friends but..

She loves her best friend too, her best friend is female too, and almost certainly straight. The girl I love isn’t a lesbian, instead she goes where she thinks the love is. We’ve been friends for a few years now, and sometimes I get strong impressions she likes me, but then things happen that make me think she just likes me as a friend, I’m not sure if I’m overthinking or not. This has been tearing me apart ever since she told me she loves her friend. I’m the only person she told, but she she seems confused all of the time. If she asks her friend out, her friend will say no and their relationship will be ruined. Even if it meant she ended up liking me, I wouldn’t want that to happen to their friendship because I care for her alot. Recently she really seemed like she liked me, but then she seemed awkward when the subject of her and her friend got brought up. I don’t know what this means.

This has been tearing me apart for a long time now, I even thought that I’d just get out of her life and save myself the problem, but for some reason I feel inside myself that we’ll end up together. I’ve thought I was in love before in my life, but I always knew inside that they weren’t going to work out for whatever reason, this is different. However I do not want to ruin my chances, please, people of help.com this has been a rollercoaster of events and I just need some solid advice before I go crazy.

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 160, 7, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post daretodream may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. daretodream is a verified member, has been around for 11 months, 1 week and has 11 posts and 142 replies to their name.

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friends, Love, life, reason, like, Thought, Has Been, best friend, told (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Anonymous #
3 months ago (34 minutes after post)

Just talk to her, and get it straight whether she likes you or not. Regardless of the outcome, that’s the only way you’ll gain some sense of closure, and stop wondering.

daretodream 0 #
Chicago, IL, US | 3 months ago (4 hours, 8 minutes after post)

I wish I could, but it’s not as easy as that. If I asked her now, her answer could be different from a few months in the future, and having asked her already would put her off as a whole.

Lucy Goosie 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (5 hours, 30 minutes after post)

Hm… this is a tricky one. But read the signs. You have been friends for years. She’s showed signs that she maybe likes you. But now, she has come right out and said she loves her straight friend. To me this just says she’s looking to be loved, and its not person specific. But it also says that she’s either (1) Not interested in you that way or (2) Is trying to make you jealous so that she can instigate a relationship with you. Have you ever acted on your love for her? Maybe she’s thought about being with you too but after having waited for so long for something to happen she’s given up on you and is now going for someone else. Let her know subtly that you feel fondly for her. Spend more alone time with her, remind her of good times between you two, try to be as inviting as possible without being too obvious. If she still seems keen to pursue her best friend, despite your efforts to win her affections, leave her alone and accept that she may be just a friend and nothing more.

Help me with: I really like this guy that I work with, but I’m not sure if he likes me… I only started over a week ago, nearing two weeks now actually.

daretodream 0 #
Chicago, IL, US | 3 months ago (5 hours, 35 minutes after post)

I’ve always been very careful not to be too nice to make sure that she never caught on that I liked her, now I realise that is a very bad thing to do and maybe that’s why she probably feels like she is swimming against the current trying to hint to me. Thanks alot =) Now I know that I’ve got to be more upfront about my feelings. Thanks so much!

Lucy Goosie 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (5 hours, 46 minutes after post)

No problems :) I should be the last person to give relationship advice! Hehe. I hate the way we play games with each other to see if the other will make the first move! But yeah, if you do act too much like the ‘nice guy’ rather than a possible conquest then she’ll give up eventually. You have to spark her interest. Since you guys have been friends you already have that strong base to start building a great relationship together. Just let her know, however you can, that you could be the one for her, and she might take an interest. Anyway, you let me know as well how things go between you guys! And thanks for giving me advice on my problem too! :)

Help me with: I really like this guy that I work with, but I’m not sure if he likes me… I only started over a week ago, nearing two weeks now actually.

daretodream 0 #
Chicago, IL, US | 3 months ago (5 hours, 52 minutes after post)

Thanks! I didn’t think about it in terms of nice guy and possible conquest, I think I’ve just learned a big chunk about women! And no problem on helping you, Help and Help alike! Help.com is a lovely place =)

Lucy Goosie 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (6 hours, 25 minutes after post)

Your welcome, hehe and yes it is a great place :)

Help me with: I really like this guy that I work with, but I’m not sure if he likes me… I only started over a week ago, nearing two weeks now actually.

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I love one of my best friends but..

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