Money help: how can I help my boyfriend quit smoking pot?

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how can I help my boyfriend quit smoking pot?

It’s starting to make us fight alot, were low on money and before we even pay bills he will go out and buy a bag of weed…Im looking for advice on how to help him realize its tearing us apart, and its about to te point where he needs to choose.

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Money, Binomial coefficient, smoking cessation, Weed, boyfriend, Bag, Live Prayer with Bill Keller, Point, bills, pot, addicted, quit (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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melt 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (23 minutes after post)

It sounds like it’s at the point where YOU need to choose. He would probably figure it out if you left him because of it.

Help me with: Please, I need some words of encouragement.

Adrenaline! 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (31 minutes after post)

Just tell him to stop.. Tell him things has to change.. If he wont stop then he is either weak or not really in love.. He should be smart enough to figure out money shouldnt be spent on weed, when u r low on money..

jodie_lak 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (46 minutes after post)

I was at the same point as your boyfriend. Chances are, inside he’s terrified about his addiction.
He needs help, not threats.

my boyfriend made me choose. i was so hurt that he couldn’t see i needed help, that i chose the weed….and it all got worse.

I was deluded and unhappy. still am.

Let him know, without fighting if you can, that you are really scared for him, and your relationship.

And also try and help him remember how he had fun before the weed…….distract him from the need..

good luck. im totally with you on this one.x

Help me with: why the f**k do i bother?

Bruised and Broken 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 19 minutes after post)

i quit weed for my girlfriend b/c i loved her. So i agree with above he needs to choose. Drugs or you. What is more important. In my case and hopefully in his case he chooses you. B/c love is all you need.

Help me with: LSD?

zoo_baw 12 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (4 hours, 45 minutes after post)

wow… i never seen it from this angle…
anyway, if you just like ask him to choose, most probably he’ll choose to get high
then, it all depends on how you put it. talk to him, when he’s somewhat sober, put it like ‘we’ have a problem and it’s not about you against him, something like helping you both… and that you both are endangered by he’s choices to get high… and the love bit would certainly helps too

plastikstar 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (10 hours, 6 minutes after post)

i had exactly the same problem. My boyfriend started to smoke heavily a few months into our relationship and changed like dr.jekyll and hyde. He started to make me feel like furniture. I got maybe one kiss a day and pretty much no conversation. When I tried to curl up next to him at night he wouldn’t touch me at all. He only touched me when he wanted to sleep with me. Imagine how hurt I was. We came to the point where I confronted him with it on the verge of tears and asked him if he would choose me should I give him an ultimatum. The answer was “I don’t do ultimatums”. Ouch.
Now, you don’t sound like your boyfriend is quite that bad. But if he’s already not noticing that he’s harming you financially just because of **** pot then he’s already pretty bad and needs help.
What happened in my case was that we got into a huge fight and he just took off for two weeks. In the mean time his mum sent him a document (I can send it to you if you want.)
It affected my boyfriend quite strongly and he immediately quit. Now he smokes once in a blue moon which still scares me because I’m scared he’ll fall into old habits but he knows I’m leaving him as soon as I notice it happen. It took me forever to built my trust up to him again. I digress.

The thing is, you need to figure out a way to shock/scare him. Not with “I’ll leave you if you don’t finally choose me” because as a smoker he’ll be too clouded to realize that you’re actually the most important thing in his life (you should be)

Try to figure out what was the initial point for him to get into weed so much. Does he have a job he’s happy with? If he’s not working and just hanging around that’s probably it. That’s what it was with my boyfriend. He wasn’t trying at all anymore.

Whatever area it is in your boyfriend’s life that is making him feel the need to haze himself up like that needs improvement. Try to find solutions to it. Make suggestions without mentioning the weed.

You need to try to push your frustration away for a little bit, I know how it can make someone really emotional and edgy but that’ll just provoke him and make him enter a fight. So try to be as calm as possible.

Slowly try to lead him to the problem with the bills.

Sit him down when he’s sober, and tell him that “we” have a problem. Don’t mention the weed yet. Show him the bills that need paying. Ask him if he has any solutions as to how to pay the bills, because they do need paying and it’s both your responsibility not just yours. If he doesn’t come up with anything good or fails to even mention the weed, ask him to remember how it was before the weed. How much fun you had and ask him if he can remember how much more he could remember when he wasn’t smoking or smoking as much, and how much better he woke up, and remind him that your relatioship was going better and you were both happier and bills could be paid with no or less problems.

I hope that helps…I really hope it does, I know how frustrating and hurtful this situation can be.

(1)

i had exactly the same problem. My boyfriend started to smoke heavily a few months into our relationship and changed like dr.jekyll and hyde. He started to make me feel like furniture. I got maybe one kiss a day and pretty much no conversation. When I tried to curl up next to him at night he wouldn't touch me at all. He only touched me when he wanted to sleep with me. Imagine how hurt I was. We came to the point where I confronted him with it on the verge of tears and asked him if he would choose me should I give him an ultimatum. The answer was "I don't do ultimatums". Ouch.
Now, you don't sound like your boyfriend is quite that bad. But if he's already not noticing that he's harming you financially just because of **** pot then he's already pretty bad and needs help. 
What happened in my case was that we got into a huge fight and he just took off for two weeks. In the mean time his mum sent him a document (I can send it to you if you want.)
It affected my boyfriend quite strongly and he immediately quit. Now he smokes once in a blue moon which still scares me because I'm scared he'll fall into old habits but he knows I'm leaving him as soon as I notice it happen. It took me forever to built my trust up to him again. I digress.

The thing is, you need to figure out a way to shock/scare him. Not with "I'll leave you if you don't finally choose me" because as a smoker he'll be too clouded to realize that you're actually the most important thing in his life (you should be)

Try to figure out what was the initial point for him to get into weed so much. Does he have a job he's happy with? If he's not working and just hanging around that's probably it. That's what it was with my boyfriend. He wasn't trying at all anymore.

Whatever area it is in your boyfriend's life that is making him feel the need to haze himself up like that needs improvement. Try to find solutions to it. Make suggestions without mentioning the weed.

You need to try to push your frustration away for a little bit, I know how it can make someone really emotional and edgy but that'll just provoke him and make him enter a fight. So try to be as calm as possible.

Slowly try to lead him to the problem with the bills.

Sit him down when he's sober, and tell him that "we" have a problem. Don't mention the weed yet. Show him the bills that need paying. Ask him if he has any solutions as to how to pay the bills, because they do need paying and it's both your responsibility not just yours. If he doesn't come up with anything good or fails to even mention the weed, ask him to remember how it was before the weed. How much fun you had and ask him if he can remember how much more he could remember when he wasn't smoking or smoking as much, and how much better he woke up, and remind him that your relatioship was going better and you were both happier and bills could be paid with no or less problems.

I hope that helps...I really hope it does, I know how frustrating and hurtful this situation can be.

turnnbur #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (1 week, 4 days after post)

I met a great guy about 7 weeks ago it was one of those love at first sight, i was instantaniously bonded like best freinds “same for him” we talk all the time for hours onn end… he is 24 but was busted at 19 for distribution…went to jail,got out but is still on probation for many years to come… i love him to death and cant imagune ever being withought him, well he failed a drug test “pot” and was just sent to rehab for 28days..

i wrote him a letter and gave it to him the ninght i dropped him off at the center..
pretty much said ” i love you, but i have goals in my life for school jobs and life and you are putting me in unneeded dangerous situastion what if i was busted because of you… and then i would have a reacord etc.etc….and i wont ask you to stop doing drugs because if you stop for me, it wont last well have a bad day or whatever and youll go back to it..it must be because you love and care for yourself,becuase you must first love yourself beforee you can ever truly love me…
so you now have 28days to think about your chosen path and future…i await your answer one way or the other….

that wasa 2 days ago..he called me begging me to wait for him that he wont tell me he will quit doing drugs because he knows i wont believe it, but that he will just have to prove it to me… and that he loves me and nothing on this earth is worth losing me over…

so now i await the future to see what comes of his answer….

;) i hope this helps someone … i have never dated an addict but i hope if nothing else even if it doesnt work out between us that maby i helped to change his course in life… good luck to all and love to all,may god guide you on the right path in life and love..

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wor #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (2 weeks, 5 days after post)

hy are you trying to control his life. Lighten up and let the boy smoke it up.

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DUD #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

YOU ARE DUMB. dont tell him to stop there is nothing wrong with weed its a healthy herb. and your a ***** for trying to chang him. let him be who he is. SO BAkc off and if you dont like it move on. and maby instead of telling him what to do you could try smoking with him. you might like and.

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kisses4loulo #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 1 week ago (1 month, 3 weeks after post)

Whoa Wor no 1 is tryna control his lyfe he isn’t takin control of his he lets smoking weed get ahead of himself. I have a boyfriend whom would ***** at me when i didnt have anymoney to buy him weed or if i needed my money to put gas in the car. i am pregnant and he thinks that the only reason i want him to stop is beacuse i can’t and i am being selfish thats the biggest load of garbage cusz i bearly smoke in the 1st place. I dnt want my child around that stuff and i dont want my childs father smelling like the stuff. Its smells horriable and its like fuckn mind control. It makes him act up when he dosent get it buht he swears he could stop any time he wants and i feel thats a bunch of bull. He promises me that he he is going to stop and that he could and yet he hasnt i believe i didnt just get my self pregnant and he should act as if he would by giving it up it wud be like giving it up for his child if he can’t give it up for me then for his child he should i am on the verge of breakin up with him beacuse it makes us argue and go to sleep with tears in my eyes it stresses me the **** out and i am gettin sick and tired of it.
You could tell ure boyfrind a sit me down talk and not yell at him like i did write down a prethought list on on reasons why you think he should stop.

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justakapusta #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 2 days ago (2 months, 1 week after post)

kisses4loulo!i mean …i totally feel the same.my boyfriend has been smoking for years.His going through them stages where he gets all…like..yeah i know..ill stop…blah blah.i just finish this bag and thats it,,Than 2days later,thats probably the longest he hasnt smoked freewillingly..he hides in he toilet..having a bath but gee..im not silly.I always now when he is stonned..when the weed is around.the sweet smell of skunk is penetrating walls!he gets all calm and nice..And that confuses me and scares me.Like i dont really know him..maybe the real guy is the one who gets wind up about little things,suck his thumb and gets all nervous and twichy..i mean sometimes i simply have to tell him to go and get stonned cos he is changing into a little ****!i can feel him wanting it badly..he can’t focus on anyhing…and im also pregnant.i get to stay in my room now while he goes to have a spliff cos he had a hard day at work or whatever..always excuse..and im sitting there prenant thinking what the hell?and i want to be like..tolerating girlfriend,not nagging,you know..give the other person u love freedom and stuff.
but i just simply cannot understant what is it about reality/everyday **** that he needs to have a splif to..cope.
I did nag a bit though and that coused a lot of tension,tears,he called me uneducated and obviously he has not got a problem its me making it into a problem!but by saying he has not got i roblem u can see clearly that its a big problem.i feel like im going mad,i feel lonely and like a stupid healthy *****..and yeah he said when the baby is born he will quit..but he didnt even when he was udergoing cancer treatmant!!!!!The funny thing is that one time(them few times he attempted to stop)he opened up a bit and asked me for help!honey,just be patient i might be a bit nervous for few days and sweat a bit at night..im like ok..we get lots of sweets,cook nice food,relax and make it..But he has never even try properly.It lasts 2days and then he goeas mad if i remind him of what he was saying..what shall i do?any ideas?a therapy perhaps?brake up?eee..hes parents are heavysmokers by the way..so yeah..they are proud of their son..cos they dont see him getting pissed off when his dealer aint around.xxx

kisses4loulo!i mean ...i totally feel the same.my boyfriend has been smoking for years.His going through them stages where he gets all...like..yeah i know..ill stop...blah blah.i just finish this bag and thats it,,Than 2days later,thats probably the longest he hasnt smoked freewillingly..he hides in he toilet..having a bath but gee..im not silly.I always now when he is stonned..when the weed is around.the sweet smell of skunk is penetrating walls!he gets all calm and nice..And that confuses me and scares me.Like i dont really know him..maybe the real guy is the one who gets wind up about little things,suck his thumb and gets all nervous and twichy..i mean sometimes i simply have to tell him to go and get stonned cos he is changing into a little ****!i can feel him wanting it badly..he can't focus on anyhing...and im also pregnant.i get to stay in my room now while he goes to have a spliff cos he had a hard day at work or whatever..always excuse..and im sitting there prenant thinking what the hell?and i want to be like..tolerating girlfriend,not nagging,you know..give the other person u love freedom and stuff.
but i just simply cannot understant what is it about reality/everyday **** that he needs to have a splif to..cope.
I did nag a bit though  and that coused a lot of tension,tears,he called me uneducated and obviously he has not got a problem its me making it into a problem!but by saying he has not got i roblem u can see clearly that its a big problem.i feel like im going mad,i feel lonely and like a stupid healthy *****..and yeah he said when the baby is born he will quit..but he didnt even when he was udergoing cancer treatmant!!!!!The funny thing is that one time(them few times he attempted to stop)he opened up a bit and asked me for help!honey,just be patient i might be a bit nervous for few days and sweat a bit at night..im like ok..we get lots of sweets,cook nice food,relax and make it..But he has never even try properly.It lasts 2days and then he goeas mad if i remind him of what he was saying..what shall i do?any ideas?a therapy perhaps?brake up?eee..hes parents are heavysmokers by the way..so yeah..they are proud of their son..cos they dont see him getting pissed off when his dealer aint around.xxx

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