You can start by getting up and go out to do stuff, whether to get yourself into better shape or go out and meet people to give yourself a social life.
Neutra wrote:
You can start by getting up and go out to do stuff, whether to get yourself into better shape or go out and meet people to give yourself a social life.
I can’t go anywhere.. I have a phobia of driving (I get panic attacks when I drive) and I don’t have anywhere to GO… I have NO friends…
The only place I go is the grocery store, and I’m pretty much broke from that. (the midnight-shift cashier flirts with me)
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Not to mention i don’t know how to “give myself a social life”… nobody ever taught me how to make or retain friends… how to dress, how to behave, what all the “taboos” and “rules” are when interacting with people…
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Then talk to the people at the grocery store. It may not be exactly where you wanted to meet other people, but it’s better than nothing. And you learn by experience, if one way dosen’t work then try another. Your suppose to make a few mistakes in life, thats how we grow, it makes us better.
One person at the grocery store… and the conversations are always awkward and I don’t have any more MONEY to buy anything, so no excuse to go there… and I can’t GET there without my sister anyway. (she drives)
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Not saying to talk to some wierd looking stranger, but there’s got to be someone else there for you to socialize with. Have you tried to talk with other people around your age?
The guy IS around my age. And I haven’t talked to anyone on a regular basis since high school (2 years)… *shrug* I’m overweight (a lot) so people tend to either avoid me or pity me…
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Honestly, you have to find a way to get out there. You can’t have a social life if you stay at home all the time, or even at the grocery store. You need to start going to places where people hang out. Somehow you got to conqueor this fear of driving, it can actually be quite fun once you learn how just pay attention to the other cars and signs thats all. Then you need to just go all over. You got to make yourself look more appealing, not that there’s anything wrong with your looks, but it may help attract other people. And also you have to become more active, it can just be a walk up the street but some sort of physical activity will make you feel better both physically and emotionally.
i had panic attacks and agoraphobia when i was younger so i know how it feels. i was only able to get over that by counseling-specifically called exposure therapy where your counselor takes u to the place that makes u scared or get panic attacks and helps u to stay there. once u get past that fear u can do anything. i still get anxiety but i know now that i can overcome it. it won’t kill u, even though u feel like it will. if u want to get better u have to work at it. look for a psychologist who specializes in agoraphobia/panic disorder. there are programs that can help with financial assistance. some counselors are willing to come to your house at first to treat u-atleast ones that specialize in agoraphobia, which it sounds like thats what u have. the average person with agoraphobia that doesnt get treatment will stay that way for 7 years. my counselor had told me that. so please get yourself some help from a professional because it helped me so i know it can help u too good luck
Good answer, but it IS one I’ve heard before. I live over a mile out of town (there’s seriously a corn field across the road) and people go 70-80 in our 40mpg stretch of curvy road… I’ve almost been hit by cars just checking the mail… There’s no walking anywhere. But yes I agree… I need to get over my ADHD (don’t know if that’s really what it is, lol) and be able to drive… I was thinking a motorcycle, because I’m fine riding a bike (haven’t owned a bike since I was 15 though) and the car is like this giant box that I have to work with to make sure I don’t kill myself or anyone else while I’m on the road… not fun. :p
Also, i don’t know WHERE people hang out… especially not the TYPES of people I want to associate with… NOR do I know how to dress or behave when I find those people.
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piscesrain wrote:
i had panic attacks and agoraphobia when i was younger so i know how it feels. i was only able to get over that by counseling-specifically called exposure therapy where your counselor takes u to the place that makes u scared or get panic attacks and helps u to stay there. once u get past that fear u can do anything. i still get anxiety but i know now that i can overcome it. it won’t kill u, even though u feel like it will. if u want to get better u have to work at it. look for a psychologist who specializes in agoraphobia/panic disorder. there are programs that can help with financial assistance. some counselors are willing to come to your house at first to treat u-atleast ones that specialize in agoraphobia, which it sounds like thats what u have. the average person with agoraphobia that doesnt get treatment will stay that way for 7 years. my counselor had told me that. so please get yourself some help from a professional because it helped me so i know it can help u too good luck
I can’t afford professional help, but I DO think you might be right… :(
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Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "shark, art, college, life, school, house, Fashion, reason, Person, Beauty, Falling Apart, need help" 3 months ago.
Thats the reason to go out, to go out and find places where people hand out and you can see and meet them to know how to look nice.
if u cant afford professional help then look for psychologists anyway. call them and tell them u need help and they should be more than willing to give u phone numbers to help u get financial assistance. also there are free support groups for anxiety disorder. it will take some research but if u want to get better u can find the help u need
I don’t get it… if I can’t FIND people where they hang out, and NOBODY has th same style as I do and I’m NOT gonna dress like a size 2 if I’m a size 28…
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piscesrain wrote:
if u cant afford professional help then look for psychologists anyway. call them and tell them u need help and they should be more than willing to give u phone numbers to help u get financial assistance. also there are free support groups for anxiety disorder. it will take some research but if u want to get better u can find the help u need
I don’t think I’d have to focus to do all that… But yeah… and finding the time to research all of it and potentally go to therapy amidst all my classes…. that would suck.. BUT a therapist WOULD make a GREAT reference to art school! lol
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okay… for some reason it says that response needs approval… all I said was that a therapist would make a great reference for art school, and that I may lack the focus for all the reasearch, lol…
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i think before u worry about meeting people and making new friends u should worry about getting yourself help for the reason you’re in the situation you’re in. once u start working on yourself u will gain confidence and opportunities will open up to u
I live in the middle of nowhere and I’m likely agoraphobic… that’s NOT a good combination. :p
But yeah… I’m actually a reasonably confident and outgoing person, when I’m around people… BUT getting around people, and not being awkward… those are challenges.
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it won’t take much time-type find a psychologist in your search button,get some phone numbers locally and call some of the therapists-tell them your situation and they will help u
I’ll definately try that. Thanks. :)
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ok good luck let me know what happens
Hehe, who knew google maps had a list of psychologists? :p
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Okay…. I sent emails to 3 local psychologists. hopefully one of them will be helpful! :p
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How to dress:
http://www.lanebryant.com/
http://www.torrid.com/
If you’re taking online classes, then you can take a Quickbooks class. If your online school is a technical school, then perhaps you should look at different community colleges with online classes to see if they offer a Quickbooks class that you could take. You would probably have to buy the software, but it’s comparable to buying textbooks anyway.
As for not driving and still having social problems, I think you are definitely still having problems with some form of social anxiety disorder and the agoraphobia. It is a good idea for you to seek professional help and perhaps medication. My best friend also has those problems, but through counseling and medication she has been able to relieve her symptoms enough that she now holds a hostess job in a restaurant and has a driver’s license, which she uses. She no longer takes medication regularly as once she learned to cope with it, she slowly weened herself off and taught herself how to cope without it. However, she does keep a reserve of her prescription for whenever she anticipates a particularly stressful event such as a job interview.
Good luck to you. Don’t give up. There are ways for you to accomplish all the things that you want. It’s work, but it’s possible and that’s enough to know for a good start.
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People spend their whole lives looking for some form of meaning or balance in their lives - you’ll find people of all races and sizes with the exact same problem as this.
The answer to your problem is simple and has always been their waiting for you to find. You need to get an NIV version of the bible and start reading through the new testament (Matthew Mark Luke and John) all are the same story wrtten from diff perspectives…Matthew - tax collector… Mark - simple man…. Luke -doctor…. John … another perspective from a differnt simple man
It will certainly help ANYONE see where they are and where they need to be.
Read on in Acts to learn the actions of the 1st disciples andhow they lived and suffered for their eternal lives - then read the continuing chapters from differnt perspectives - most from Paul - most in pison that detail how to find the true meaning to happiness in this life and the next.
Good luck with your adventure - you will certainly need it.
Sincerely
Trying
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PS:Look to proverbs for short but meaty quotes on how to live your life, find happiness, deal with others negativity, etc
Now to all that read this - choice is yours - lways has been - to act or react…respond by seeking. Ask and the door will be opened …seek and you will find… but it wont be in your time frame…
and it wont be without great struggle to find the change you seek.
PSS - not looking to debate either so dont be surprised when I choose not to reply to any negative backlashes in response 00 I promise Ive probably heard them all so dont waste your time typing ,,,
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Neutra
arp4fun
Nyx (Dingo)
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