friends help: please help me! - Help.com



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please help me!

i have a friend who is a really nice girl but she lacks confidence in herself so she follows me around a lot and is really clingy. she is slightly overweight, and is really self-conscious and as a result didnt make many friends in primary school. i have become one of her best friends, and i really like her, but she is frightning me. she invites me over to her house and i dont have the heart to say no. i have tried distancing myself a bit, but it is really tough, and i think she thinks i am ignoring her. so i think she thinks that by inviting me over i will pay more attention to her. she also worries that i dont like her because i dont invite her over to my house, but that isnt the reason at all - i actually just prefer going to the shops or movies instead. so she has made a few attempts to invite herself over. im sorry, this situation is really confusing. she also gets really put down by the slightest rejection, and is really sensitive. if you could please help me? i dont know how to put distance in between us. if you could not suggest talking to her face to face, because it would really wound her and i dont think i have the heart to do it. is there any other way to do it? i want to try other things before i go for that, because then she will think our whole friendship has been a lie…im sorry..help me if you can. thanks!

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 95, 9, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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friends, ConsciousNess, Film, Situationist, school, house, lie, girl, heart, reason (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

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finny offline Verified User (3 months) Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (4 minutes after post)

uh, talking is the only way to solve problems with communication.

your friend needs the TRUTH from you, not pussyfooting around trying not t hurt her feelings. Yes, she may get upset, but ****, that’s life.

If she’s so insecure, why not suggest something to her that would help her GET some self-confidence… like a sport or something artsy… you know, something that you DON’T DO but that she can do by herself…

help her get other friends.

but you gotta talk to her

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madyb_9 offline Verified User (3 months) Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (20 minutes after post)

wow that was quick!
yeh shes friends with all the people in my group at school but she just seems interested in sticking to me for some reason…i dont see anything that is so fantastic about me..im a pretty average kid. anyway thanks for your help. x

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zoo_baw offline Verified User (10 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (47 minutes after post)

be her friend, and true friends tell it like it is, might be painful at first, but once she sees what you’re actually trying to do, you’ll both be closer friends than ever…
just don’t let it get too far, by showing that you care.

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ruska offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 hours, 21 minutes after post)

I think theres no other way, except telling her, but I know, it’s so hard… I can’t make myself to tell my frind rather same thing (I’ve got situation which is very much alike yours).

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ruska offline Verified User (3 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 hours, 35 minutes after post)

AmandaLynn wrote:
There is something in her life that has made her begun to feel inadaquate, insecure, fearful ..and so on.

she’s right, my frind didn’t have any frieds till 8th form… I think yours too?

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