friends help: So I’m pretty tired of everything now.

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So I’m pretty tired of everything now.

I don’t really know how to do this, I’ve tried to avoid it for the last 4 years, but oh well. I just feel like dropping everything now and running away, but I wouldn’t have anywhere to go, no one to turn to. I’ve never had anyone to talk to at all. So here I am.
I’ve been depressed since I was around 10 years old, and it has only become worse. 4 years ago I would never think that I’d feel like this, that I’d be so close to giving up, and, yeah, killing myself. I’ve always rejected the thought of suicide before, but lately I’ve lost my willpower, I’m too tired of everything to resist. I don’t want to give up, but it feels so inevitable now. I just feel too unhappy to study, make friends in my new class, socialize or anything like that. I just lay myself down on my bed or get on my laptop… you know, not doing anything good at all.
I have no friends, it’s kind of sad, but the ones I had kind of stopped talking to me now. It could be my own fault, I don’t know.
I don’t know why I’d post this, I guess I’m kind of hoping for a miracle. It’s just that everything is getting worse, every time I pick myself off the floor I return to an unimproved situation.
This feels so pointless now, but oh ****…

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 164, 13, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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friends, suicide, laptop, Situationist, running, miracle, Beauty, Year, Bed, Rejected (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot 10 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 3 months ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

yoyo123 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I feel like I know exactly what you mean. I am in almost the exact same situation. Depressed, separating myself from everything, which just makes me more depressed. I wish I could help you because I know how hard it is and how hopeless it feels. I do know that suicide is not the answer. Just try to remember that depression is often in your mind, the chemicals in your brain. Try going to a doctor for help. That’s what I’m going to do, to try to get anti-depressants. I’m not sure if that would help you, but remember that you CAN get out of this. You will.

This account has been deactivated.

annlovestars * 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (10 minutes after post)

This site could help :
http://www.studentdepression.org/site…

Did something cause it also, or is it just something that comes over you ?

Help me with: Yessss we moved all our stuff finally !

resurgam 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (14 minutes after post)

So, uh, yeah, that poster is me, dunno why I made it anonymous.
Something caused it way back, I got over it, the something else happened, and it goes on and on and on, but the pain from every little thing remains and builds up… and now it’s not necessarily because something has happened to me, it just kind of washes over me.
Oh, and yoyo123, thanks a lot for your reply.

annlovestars * 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (17 minutes after post)

You are not alone in this, we are here and there are many who walk around with
the same feelings but hide it.
Try to see that its a temporary thing maybe ? Now you are in the shadow.
But that will go away some day also.

Help me with: Yessss we moved all our stuff finally !

annlovestars * 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (22 minutes after post)

Do you like to read ?
This is a good book, its published free :

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communiti…

Help me with: Yessss we moved all our stuff finally !

resurgam 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (25 minutes after post)

It’s been nearly half my life now, and I know it’s temporary, it’s like what yoyo123 said, I just need to wait for the right chemicals to get inside my brain and I won’t feel as miserable and small. But it’s so hard to do something about it, it just kind of overpowers me now. I can’t force myself to be outgoing and smile, I can’t force myself into studying or working now.
I’m always in the shadow, I haven’t felt good in such a long time… it’s just worse than every other day now.

I’ll check on the book, thanks.

annlovestars * 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (28 minutes after post)

You can always come back here :) hope the book gives you some new insights.

Help me with: Yessss we moved all our stuff finally !

dotspot 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (43 minutes after post)

I also feel the same way. My depression onset at 15 and I’m 23 now. I also feel that suicide is inevitable and that nothing will ever improve. And lately I feel really lethargic. I don’t want to do anything, or go anywhere, so I haven’t. I’m just biding my time.

It’s like I missed the last train, but I’m still waiting in the station, because I was supposed to be on that train. After missing it, my whole world is messed up. All I have is a hard, dirty plastic seat, a bag full of meager stuff, and a crowd of hurried strangers whirling around me.

All I know is that suicide devastates your loved ones. It broke my mothers heart. I really don’t want to do it all over again.

Help me with: I feel like I’m wasting my life.

yoyo123 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 46 minutes after post)

It’s amazing to hear how many people, especially young people (I’m 22), that suffer from this. Like I walk around campus and think I must be the only one in the world with these kinds of problems, but really so many of us do. It does help to hear from others. I wish we could help each other even more in some way. My mom always says just to take it one day at a time, which doesn’t always help, but I think it is good to try to see the big picture. Like for dotspot, I’m positive another train will come by! Just believe it and know it’s possible, don’t give up.

This account has been deactivated.

yoyo123 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (2 hours, 4 minutes after post)

resurgam, i don’t know why, but it won’t allow me to respond to your message, but thanks. i’m glad you added me as a friend, it seems like we have a lot in common and i wouldn’t mind talking more if you want to. maybe we could help each other out. i don’t know about you, but i don’t have a lot of support right now in my life. well, thanks again for sharing

This account has been deactivated.

indoundermyski #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (1 day, 11 hours after post)

“I don’t know why I’d post this, I guess I’m kind of hoping for a miracle. It’s just that everything is getting worse, every time I pick myself off the floor I return to an unimproved situation.”

i believe that it’s no coincidence that you post it here. there is a hope. and it’s as far as prayer. i think our biggest problem as humans is loneliness. we cant seem to cope with it and it’s understandable. there’s a god-shaped hole insider our hearts that only a person with god-sized can fill. and that’s jesus, the love of jesus is the only one that can fill your hearts with love and peace you’ve been looking for. he’s the way truth and life. and he’s just as far as prayer. i dont wanna sound like a televisions preacher, but i’m telling you from my experience. ask him to come to your heart. jesus said in matt 28:11 come to me all who are weary and i will give you rest. i was a weary person before and i came to him. it’s no stupid christian religion, it’s about jesus and you and how your life can be changed, as mine was.

This account has been deactivated.

missagirlima4 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (2 weeks after post)

NOOOOOO dont kill yourself be smarter then that ok look my best friend darnell thought no one loved him he was sooooo wrong i loved him dearly and still cry for him

This account has been deactivated.

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