life help: Do you ever feel… - Help.com

lottierose
offline Verified (3 months, 2 weeks) Visit lottierose's shoutbox
An Unknown Location

Do you ever feel…

…like a parasite has invaded your body?

Sometimes I want to throw myself down and just surrender. I give up. Do what you want with me. You wanted my body, you’ve got my body. Take what you want and then just leave me be. I’ve had enough. I give up.

Then other times, you are not in your own body at all. You are a being somewhere outside your own skin, watching yourself as you exercise all night, as you hide entire meals down your sleeve, as you refuse even water. You stare in morbid fascination at the mirror as you see your hip bones jut and the numbers on the scale plunge.

I’m not me anymore. I’ve been taken over by something that has sucked out all my life and left a dry shell of a being in exchange.

Do with me what you wish.

I care no longer.

This open post was written 2 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 78, 9, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post lottierose may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. lottierose is a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 2 weeks and has 2 posts and 20 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

Water, Bone, life, Skin, Mirror, physical exercise, Parasitism, Scale, night, Just Surrender, anorexia, eating disorder, death (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (9)

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Cali87 offline Verified User (3 months) Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

aww, that has to feel horrible. Eating disorders are hard to deal with, maybe you should see a doctor and get some help. once your not so obsessed over your body you’ll realize that looks aren’t everything and your a great person inside.

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Help me with: Can’t sleep
R.A.M offline Verified User (3 months) Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

Sounds like you have a bad case of depression…
Please do tell someone you trust and who cares about yo uabout this!

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lottierose offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

People know. But nothing can help me.

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frances89 offline Verified User (7 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

have you talked to the people you’re closest to you about this?

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R.A.M offline Verified User (3 months) Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

Have you ever thought of meditation or prayer to help you out?

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lottierose offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (39 minutes after post)

I have talked to a few people close to me about it, but apart from hugging me they are very limited in what they can do. Also I hate to admit anything is wrong so when I grin and say I love food now and can’t bear to go without it… I do a pretty good job of fooling people.
I do pray sometimes… I am quite a religious person. But in a way… I am scared of having my prayers answered. I don’t feel like I could just stop.
As much as it is living in a hell, I love it.

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bill.za offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (57 minutes after post)

this is the current condition of humanity. we are all “invaded with this parasite” in some form or another.
i varys massivly from person to person.
its a condition cause by the intense corruption and misguidance of the “topmost” portion of humanity, the scum of the earth.
everything from television culture to fashion to ones desire to eat a moro bar is wrapped up in this disease of the soul.
its all to distract us from the greed and the hell our world has become.

realise that it isnt “you” and work on remedying yourself and we will overcome this

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This account has been deactivated.
Miss Emotional offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

How old are you?

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Help me with: A depressing christmas to be…
lottierose offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (22 hours, 41 minutes after post)

Thank you Bill za. But to be honest, I’m not bowled over by the media’s portrayal of perfection. It’s a personal thing to me, to be the best that I can be, rather than to be better than the glossy person on the front page of Heat.
I am 17 Bexi.

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