Love help: She’s a confused girl! - Help.com

mmm…you should fake that you’re leaving her…that’ll probably make her notice that she isn’t so confused…
and if she doesn’t, c’mon dude, you can have a better relationship in 15 months

hmm good idea!

2511 wrote:
mmm…you should fake that you’re leaving her…that’ll probably make her notice that she isn’t so confused…
and if she doesn’t, c’mon dude, you can have a better relationship in 15 months

bad idea…

but seriously… just start pulling away.. just a tiny bit… you have to let her realize that something is wrong… let her feel that feeling of losing you… stop being so lovey, so cuddly and stop telling her that you love her…

once she feels that you are pulling away… she will wake up and realize exactly what she has…

Shie wrote:

2511 wrote:
mmm…you should fake that you’re leaving her…that’ll probably make her notice that she isn’t so confused…
and if she doesn’t, c’mon dude, you can have a better relationship in 15 months

bad idea…

but seriously… just start pulling away.. just a tiny bit… you have to let her realize that something is wrong… let her feel that feeling of losing you… stop being so lovey, so cuddly and stop telling her that you love her…

once she feels that you are pulling away… she will wake up and realize exactly what she has…

…that’s what I meant…after all, it seems like he’s leaving her that way =P

yuppers… if he lets her keep being the way that she is.. why change??? he is allowing it to be like that.

Shie wrote:
yuppers… if he lets her keep being the way that she is.. why change??? he is allowing it to be like that.

Yep…

Some distance can be good in all relationships…

yourfriend wrote:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Wtf?

experience_drive wrote:
“bad idea…

but seriously… just start pulling away.. just a tiny bit… you have to let her realize that something is wrong… let her feel that feeling of losing you… stop being so lovey, so cuddly and stop telling her that you love her…

once she feels that you are pulling away… she will wake up and realize exactly what she has…”

It is never a good idea to act against your own instinct in an effort to make anyone react in a certain way. Be honest with her about how she is making you feel and really listen to her when she tells you whats going on with her. Stop making it all about you and ask her what is going on with her. Help her work through her issues or walk away and find someone who doesn’t have those issues. But don’t start playing games to elicit the response you want there is no place for that in a mature and honest relationship. life’s not always easy and fun and people don’t always feel the way you want them to, pretending to withdraw may do nothing but make her feel more alone and alienate her even further. No one giving advice here really knows anything about this girl except that she has feelings for you but is not sure she is in love with you. how old is this girl maybe she has other considerations in life like a career or musical talent or what have you.

He never said it was against his will or whatsoever…

And, 15 months dating…that’s the issue here…she needs to know what she really needs…

You need to sit down and talk with her. Ask what she feels towards him. You should be at the point were you can talk about anything to each other.

experience_drive wrote:
it isn’t her on here needing to know now is it. what if she isn’t 100 percent committed to this relationship. Him playing a game of emotional blackmail with her is not likely to get him the reaction he seeks. Yes that is exactly what it is when you withdraw yourself emotionally from someone to elicit a response from them. it’s saying do what i want you to do, feel what i want you to feel, or i will withhold my affection. That is not a relationship a person who respects themselves would stay in for long.

Only if she notices…

Communication is key to any relationship. No experience here, I just assume that is the case.

Yeah, but this guy has been dating her for 15 MONTHS..for god’s sake…that’s A LOT…

And she’s still confused? lol I don’t think so…he wants a fast and effective solution..talking to her this time will only make it longer for him to solve it, and he’s been on the same thing for far too long…

She’s probably feeling guilty over something. If you do the whole “if you’re still confused I’m leaving” gig then that will just guilt-trip her into saying she loves you, put extra pressure on her, and in the end she’ll probably realise she hates you.

Find out what’s making her feel guilty about dating you would be my advice.