friends help: My social life sucks and it’s affecting me mentally and possibly physically. - Help.com

Not complaining or anything, and I’ll definitely be picking that book up ASAP, but wouldn’t reading something like that in public be….. mortifying, to say the least?

I am now completely unsocial. I never talk in class, and I don’t talk to other kids. Afterall, how can I fit in? These kids have known each other ever since elementary school and I’m sure they all have their little fond memories and inside jokes, as I did in Vegas.

How about outside of school? Join a church or a youth group. Maybe the boy scouts or the chess club…whatever you like. Find a hobby and try to get to know other people with the same interests.

Anonymous wrote:
Not complaining or anything, and I’ll definitely be picking that book up ASAP, but wouldn’t reading something like that in public be….. mortifying, to say the least?

Nah. Just tell people that your Dad raves about it, and promised you a $50.00 bill if you managed to read it within two weeks.

Thank you for opening your heart to us.

Kids love to talk and chat and joke about weird topics even if you wouldn’t like to talk about them. I am also Asian. And I am untalkative at times. But when you feel someone is trying to make friends with you, and you will know. Talk to them, if you do not like were the conversation is going just tell them “Thats a really dumb thing to talk about.” Sometimes you need to find the needs of yourself rather than finding the needs of others. Don’t wait for one to ask you to join them for lunch. Just stick to them but do not stalk them. Being a friend to another means you need to know each other better. Find what they like and talk about it. But not all time, find new things to talk about, find something funny your buddy might find funny.

My friend, let me tell you this. Kids hate untalkative guys. Be like water, adjust yourself to meet new people but be yourself. Be confident and strong when it comes to talking to a group. I hope I help you out in a way. If you do something that humiliates you, just ignore it and think of it as a lesson.

Making friends is a skill. Its how you build your self in a way. I hope this help in some way.

I’m relatively in the same boat.

I’ll be your friend.

when given the oppurtunity be yourself and pretend the people around you are the people in vegas. maybe it might change your comfort zone. and then you can open up more easily to people around you. if it makes you feel better. I was put in ESL in elementry school but english is my first language. adopted as a baby from korea. the korean kids wouldnt talk to me because iw asn’t korean enough, the white kids thought i was to asian. and all the other kids in ESL felt the same that i wasn’t from their country so i would never understand. but being korean i want to know because i only know american culture. i can kind of relate. because i knew i was fun but i didnt know how to express that to them.

real friends don`t care where you camefrom.your friends in vegas like you for what you are so I don`t think you have to change to make yourself appreciate.the more we grow up the more it`s hard to find someone to share with.take it easy one step at a time maybe by just saying “hi” to someone you like to know in your class!

yourfriend wrote:
Making friends can be hard, try joining school clubs.
if you like reading you can read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. it’s good insight into human interaction

Excellent book! :)

xoxox wrote:
You just need to hang in there for the next few years. Do well in school and go off to college in a different state. You will befriend a diverse group of open-minded friends! Compared to Cali and Vegas, Virginia is extremely homogeneous and conservative. The level of social progression in the West Coast (and certain areas of the East Coast) is light years beyond the Southern states. I’m in LA. Even though it’s 1am in the morning, I can go out right now to grab some Korean BBQ or Pupusas from the Salvadoran joint down the street. You need to be in a cosmopolitan community. BTW, how many mixed-race couples do you see in Virgina? I bet you don’t see too many. Screw it. You won’t change them in our lifetimes my friend. Progress in the south is notoriously sluggish for some stupid reason. Get out of dodge.

Unfortunately you are wrong about Virginia my friend. Have you been here? It sounds like you haven’t. Well maybe you have but only to certain parts of Virginia like the remote countryside. Virginia Beach and Northern Virginia are very diverse. I am asian and I grew up here. And yes, I see countless bi-racial couples… everywhere. And yes, there are many asians here as well. You may be talking about parts of Virginia but that is a generalization and generalizations do not take you very far.

Good luck in finding friends. I agree that you should join clubs or sports or a church youth group or maybe you could get a job that you know has people around your age. Maybe a job at the mall or somewhere that you will be interacting with a lot people so you can exercise your social skills again. Another idea is taking lessons. Maybe you could take dance lessons or music lessons. Try something you’ve never tried. The more people you are around the more likely you’ll find a friend. Atleast you’ll be productive while keeping busy and meeting more people with similar interests. Give it time, you have only been here for less than a year. Perhaps you are still warming up. I wouldn’t be worried. You sounds like a bright and likeable young lady and people will soon see that. And yes, do good in school, you’ll be off to college (if you so desire) and meeting new people again before you know it. Then if you really don’t like it in (where ever you are) in VA, you could go to school/or get a job in DC, NY, or yes, even LA or San Diego. Many of us moved alot so you’re not alone- especially if you were around military brats… Save your energy kiddo, I know high school is tough especially if you’re not 100% confident yet but when you get to college or whatever you do after you graduate, high school will just be a memory. Often times you don’t meet your “real” friends/family until your well into your twenties. In the meantime, try to have fun with whoever is around you.