mom help: Here is our story. - Help.com

Here is our story.

I’m going to keep this short as possible.

This is actually me and my mom here now… We had a long talk about that card and now I know the entire truth. I really don’t feel the same.. Well I’ll get to the point here.

We were a family of 5, and then my dad left us 6 years ago. My dad was assigned for visitation every 2 weeks. He would take me to kickboxing and we would have fun. Little did I know thats he was with another woman. A woman that I didn’t know about, and my mom didn’t know about.

2 months ago when it was summer, My dad would take me to his house for 2 weeks. And on the drive for the first day he told me that he and my mom were divorced, and he had a girlfriend, lets call her X. I didn’t know, I thought my dad and X were just friends who worked together and that my dad and my mom were separated.

I saw them cuddling, kissing. I even met X’s son. I felt nothing, from the very first day. It was like my old self was dead. I was dead, it felt that way. Therefore I didn’t ask anything, I pretended that it was normal, I pretended that lots of people went through this.

My birthday, September the 7th he and X gave me a birthday card. I brought it home and my mom asked me “who is X on the tag of the card . I told her that is was from X and dad. From there I had no choice but to tell my mom everything.

From there my mom felt like I betrayed my mom because I knew quite sometime that my dad and X were sleeping together. But I knew they were separated and my mom told me the truth that my dad and my mom were sleeping together. She explained that my dad actually tricked her into it sometimes or other times he would grab her. My dad is a pathological lier. Now my mom saids that she feels dirty. She wish that I told her about them earlier, so she could have protected herself, such as leaving the house before my dad comes over.

So my mental life has changed forever from this night. So I leave it up to you to give us suggestions, please try to be easy. Thank you.

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 298, 9, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Demented may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Demented is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 12 posts and 226 replies to their name.

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Michael Leibman offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Littleton, CO, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (9 minutes after post)

AS far as you not telling your mom — that’s just like you didn’t even tell yourself. Like you said you didn’t feel anything, it’s like denial or suppression or shock, some sort of state where you didn’t have any meaningful thought or feeling about it. People are like that when disaster strikes, like when someone dies or something. Hopefully you both can understand that. (I’ll read the rest again.)

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Michael Leibman offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Littleton, CO, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (15 minutes after post)

…beyond that, whatever problem there is is likely the same set of forces that drove them to separate in the first place. That’s all I have to offer, but hopefully someone wiser in the ways of relationships will show up too.

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Nyxotic offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (20 minutes after post)

Don’t feel bad about not telling your mom. Like I said before in your other post about the card, you should not be in the middle of this. This should be between your parents. That sucks that your dad let you know, but lied to your mom about it. But it’s not your fault and you can’t go back and change things. In fact, it’s none of your business who is sleeping with whom, really. I’m sorry that your mom has to go through all of this, but I hope that she realizes that it is not your responsibility to tell her what your dad is up to. She probably wouldn’t want you telling you dad about everything that she does, either.

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Help me with: Divorced.
Demented offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 84 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (35 minutes after post)

To be honest I don’t really wanna live anymore. I don’t want to see things go worse. I don’t know, First I don’t have friends, second the girl I liked thinks I’m dirty, and now this. Yeah, I don’t want to live anymore, I was always a pathetic demented loser. Everything around me is falling because of me. Nobody likes me, nobody ever considered me. I’m a dead man, seriously. I know your all taking your time to respond I really thank you but I don’t see myself living anymore.

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Nyxotic offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (37 minutes after post)

You’re on of us, Demented. Pretty much everyone I know on this site has the same thoughts as you for very similar reasons. You should spend a little more time on here, talk to some of the people, and you’ll find that once we find each other, we manage to get along and learn to make things a little better for ourselves.

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Help me with: Divorced.
Demented offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 84 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (40 minutes after post)

Nyx (ninja) wrote:
You’re on of us, Demented. Pretty much everyone I know on this site has the same thoughts as you for very similar reasons. You should spend a little more time on here, talk to some of the people, and you’ll find that once we find each other, we manage to get along and learn to make things a little better for ourselves.

Your all very nice people. As you can tell I am crying, I don’t know what to do know. Maybe my time has come.

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Nyxotic offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (42 minutes after post)

Demented wrote:

Nyx (ninja) wrote:
You’re on of us, Demented. Pretty much everyone I know on this site has the same thoughts as you for very similar reasons. You should spend a little more time on here, talk to some of the people, and you’ll find that once we find each other, we manage to get along and learn to make things a little better for ourselves.

Your all very nice people. As you can tell I am crying, I don’t know what to do know. Maybe my time has come.

Not yet. There’s a reason you posted this in the first place and that is so that you can move past it. There’s a reason you’re crying and that is that you don’t really want to die.

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Help me with: Divorced.
☆miss lilies☆ offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 250 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (3 hours, 52 minutes after post)

*lilies gives Demented a hug.

First, happy birthday. I am sorry you are going through all this crap.Most teenagers deal with this and i went through this myself.
Being alone or with less friends should not make you want to give up with life. Remember that not all people would love us as we cannot love all of them or be pleased with their personality. If there is a problem with shyness or lack of confidence, maybe try to smile and begin to be a friend. But remember not to beat yourself to it, because friends should love us who we are and never leave us alone in our battles. If you have less number of friends, quality is better than quantity.

If you are lonely because you have none of them, why do you think is the reason for all of this? is it confidence? are you looking at the wrong places? do you expect too much from them?

About this girl that you like, i would like to know if you have mentioned how old you are in your posts? why do you think she thinks you are ‘dirty’? sounds like a big word to me.

Talk, talk, talk. And it is always better to express your thoughts rather than keeping them inside.

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Help me with: Anyone?
chev.jame offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (5 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Lighten up on yourself! You were put in a very bad position by your father’s “escapades.” Your mother was betrayed by him, but it was not YOU who betrayed her. You didn’t know what to do. In many ways, you were “damned if you did, and damned if you didn’t.” You and your mother need to move beyond your father’s departure. And I’m sorry that your birthday didn’t turn out better . . . but you’ve got a lot more ahead of you. So I’m telling you, Demented, don’t do anything stupid. You think that you are trapped in this “bubble” of space and time forever, but you aren’t. You have a full life ahead of you. And your mother has a full life ahead of her . . . she just needs to go out and live it! I really think you ought to join the military. I was on active duty for over 21 years. You will get out of your present environment, you will be doing something important, and you’ll be paid well. You can send money home to your mom to ease her situation. You can get a college degree. If you say that you are a demented loser one more time, Watson and I are going over there and pistol whip you with our Webleys!

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