Thought help: The worst advice ever. - Help.com

i think its horrible advice, tho, you cant trust anyone these days…

I say its the best advice ever.

once you get screwed over a million times, even by the ones closest to you, you’ll understand

Fox Mulder!

This is why I tell everyone everything - so that no-one can screw you over. I reckon there’s one or two people out there I can trust though…

and how its working out for me…pretty good.

I dont have many friends but the ones I do have I know would do anything for me, and vice versa.

and id rather have a few great friends then a ton of lousy ones.

I always try to trust people. Even though I have been messed around alot in my life. Forever the optimist. I feel that if i’m honest others will show me the same curtesy.

If you do not truest. You are blocking the beauty of other people to enter into your life.

well, you truly cant trust anyone but yourself if you think about it, you cant read minds.

I prefer the, I dont trust you at all until you really prove I can approach

If you do not trust. You are blocking the beauty of other people from entering into your life. That is what I was trying to say.

I only trust my husband. At times I don’t even trust myself.

sans wrote:
“Trust but verify.”

I like that.

I think it’s awful advice because if you don’t anyone you miss out on friendships and anything it may have to offer you.

Tbh im my worst enemy. Ppl see things in me i never even dream of. So in that case i do trust ppl but i have trust issues. Ppl surprise me everyday. No one is perfect but they are capable of being good.

If you feel like everyone is a backstabber than maybe you should evaluate the ppl you hang around. If its your family tell them and try to to let them stab you in the back. Or it could be that you need to change somethings about yourself. Just something to think about…

*try to not let them

sans wrote:
Maybe it’s equally bad as “Trust everyone.” But then no one ever gives that advice.

I like (even though I don’t like the source) “Trust but verify.”

My editor use to say consider the source.

in refernece to trust.

trusting someone enough to love you also leaves the possibility of being hurt severely when you least expect it.

hence the way I am, id rather be alone I think then risk going through certain things again

well said Babacup, I agree.

There is a Buddhist saying (I believe)…”Trust in God, but tie up your horse”.

Trusting others does not mean you have to turn off your brain. And there are those times, when you have a gut feeling about things. It’s good to listen to your intuition; it’s there for a reason. So, I guess I’m sort of middle of the road on this one. Yes, by all means trust, but never throw caution to the wind.

As they say; “great love requires great risk”.

Bright blessings ~ Richard

ps… how’s it working for me. Over the last month my trust and love has been repaid with betrayal - lying and cheating… I’m still alive and growing stronger because of it… like the phoenix, I rise from the ashes of despair to soar again.

Trust to me is ambiguous because for example, I can trust my sister to pick me up on time, but I can’t trust her to take care of my dog.
I think with time, you learn within yourself things you can trust and can’t trust about the people in your life.
I wouldn’t say I don’t trust her but I wouldn’t trust her with everything.
So in a way, you can’t trust anyone because not everyone is perfect and reliable 100% of the time

Taken literally it’s bad advice, as in no one. But taken as in “Don’t just trust every fool you ever meet” I can understand.

Trust has to be earned I think, it doesnt come within a day or weeks of knowing someone. Sad to say these days we treat everyone with an amount of susupicion.
There is many bad people out there that will hurt you, and give you pain.
I tend to go with my instincts if someone gives ma a bad vibe then Im wary.

Sasha101 wrote:
I tend to go with my instincts if someone gives ma a bad vibe then Im wary.

Same here, but im bad at judging ppl. So i want to change that aspect about me because my judgments do be wrong at times.

Keep your friends close but keep your enemies even closer…

“Trust No One.” Sounds like somebody is paranoid!

littlenick wrote:
“Trust No One.” Sounds like somebody is paranoid!

It sounds like that to me too lol

I know someone who i can trust will be there for me no matter what and that is my Mommy :); I ♥ that woman

Trust is a delicate thing. It takes courage to give it to someone. The damage done, when it is broken, can cause a person to create a self imprisonment and the desire to avoid that pain and loss ever again, to never let someone close to them again. some sadly wont experience true friends, or a partner in life that truly knows you.
I think when trust is earned, it is important to give it in life, to experience the full beauty trust. Trust allows you to relax, to sleep, to eat, to never worry about that, to know, thats not even a thought. Trust is absolute and whole with no missing parts. I take trust seriously.

MMMmmm, Very interesting SAns, It makes me wonder if your trying to send me a message cuz of my post about truth and opinions or is it just that, ‘food 4 thought’. Cuz if it has anything to do with me I really want to know ??? B4 I answer

Ok, just checking. I have lived a long time alone and theres that post so… Ok, we cool.lol-BRB

I think when you go into a new relationship or friendship you should go in with a basic trust that they are a good person. Then over time the trust will build into a full trust or not.

But if you go into a new relationship or friendship not trusting them, How do you ever get to the point of trusting them. You do not even give them a chance.

I trust people!
Without it my mind would be full of suspicion and paranoia

you screw yourself one way or another no matter which approach you have, figure out which one you like best

Yes, that is extremely bad advice. The worst ? IDK. Maybe the worst is the ones that come on near suicide posts and tell the person to do it or how to do it, things like that. I know when I was suicidal my husband would say things like that to me and it made it worse. Years later when I was more mature and he gone ,In retrospect I seen how he meant well and had good purpose-the method to his madness I guess but at the time it just Hurt :( Back to the question, You know me, Balance. we should not wear our heart on our sleeves but not ‘not trust anyone’ either. I think the balance is in controlling the emotions. Like when we first connect with someone and it feels so exciting you just want to talk all night long and tell all your little secrets or more drastic like jumping into bed right away. this is the time to step back a little, reflect on whats going on and get a grip, a reality check so to speak. We must risk rejection or we miss out on the possibilities of the acceptance.hence- loneliness.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t trust anyone 100%. I’d like to. I’ve just been let down too many times that Its so hard.

Ell♥ wrote:
I don’t know what to say. I don’t trust anyone 100%. I’d like to. I’ve just been let down too many times that Its so hard.

I forgot to say, I would recommend like 85 % if that helps any :)

I wrote a post on Trust, maybe 2, IDK.lol but SAns, great post :)

Great food for thought Sans.

I choose to trust myself and others. We all have our “gut instincts” that seldom fail us if we listen to them carefully and know ourselves. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and pay close attention to any red flags that may pop up. In choosing to trust my self and others it makes for a more enjoyable experience on this earth. If they betray that trust I will not trust them again. That’s just me.

I would have to say, that is not true, I trust everyone, and because of the amount of trust they recieve they do not do anything hurtful to me, so it is not good advice, but it is not bad advice either as you can’t trust every single person!

miss_enigma wrote:
Great food for thought Sans.

I choose to trust myself and others. We all have our “gut instincts” that seldom fail us if we listen to them carefully and know ourselves. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and pay close attention to any red flags that may pop up. In choosing to trust my self and others it makes for a more enjoyable experience on this earth. If they betray that trust I will not trust them again. That’s just me.

But do we really all have that,instincts? I dont think my daughter did when she was at gunpoint then raped by 6 men at the age of 15.I really don’t think she had that. Im not arguing or anything. just a point cuz im trying to figure out ‘instinct’ too….and Im like this too. ’shame me once, shame on you, shame me twice ,shame on me’

That is a good question. About the instinct. I know I have it and I talk to my kids about that feeling you get that tells you something is not right. I think you have just set me off on a quest for information on instinct. Do we all have it or not?

I believe if you try to be a trust worthy person and others feel that they can have trust in you, than they also deserve your trust. Most people will rise to a standard of trust worthiness around people who are trust worthy… I try hard to live up to that high standard and I expect that same high standard in return and when someone breaks that bond of trust than I am not always surprised but I am always prepared for it….we live in desperate times and no matter how hard we may try to live up to a higher standard of trust worthiness we still are capable of doing desperate things…..

we all have instinct, we’re animals.

the gut feeling about a person comes from experience though

I wouldn’t say it was the worst advice ever. At least if you don’t trust anyone, you won’t get let down or hurt by people. However if you didn’t trust anyone, your life would be really sad and lonely. Like people here have said, trusting somebody is a risky game. If you really want to be good friends with someone, then you would probably be willing to take that risk.

I trust no one until they have earned it. Trust is not something I freely give away. It is given over time. My trust is built one experience at a time.

SoulRising wrote:
I trust no one until they have earned it. Trust is not something I freely give away. It is given over time. My trust is built one experience at a time.

Excellent reply. A short, yet perfect answer.

Not to fully trust, maybe have some reservations.

well to be honest i dont think thats true because i can trust people in my family

Ive been screwed over, but I say being strong ebnough to trust again is what makes you a better person :D

So I agree that its bad advice.
Although trust can be a bad thing.

Trust yourself first.

yea i agree with you, you cant trust everyone but there is definately someone you can trust even if its just your mum or your brother…

MamaBear {Felicity} wrote:

miss_enigma wrote:
Great food for thought Sans.

I choose to trust myself and others. We all have our “gut instincts” that seldom fail us if we listen to them carefully and know ourselves. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and pay close attention to any red flags that may pop up. In choosing to trust my self and others it makes for a more enjoyable experience on this earth. If they betray that trust I will not trust them again. That’s just me.

But do we really all have that,instincts? I dont think my daughter did when she was at gunpoint then raped by 6 men at the age of 15.I really don’t think she had that. Im not arguing or anything. just a point cuz im trying to figure out ‘instinct’ too….and Im like this too. ’shame me once, shame on you, shame me twice ,shame on me’

That’s horrific! I’m so sorry. No one deserves that. Did your daughter even have time to think? I think we do all have it but sometimes we don’t listen to it or trust it. I knew I shouldn’t have married all those years ago but I put it off as cold feet. You know what they say about hindsight…there are many times I can remember not trusting my gut. My gut was always right.

Does that include trusting yourself?

you mayaswell be dead if you never trust anyone, youll be just as alone in life.
personally i think thats horrible advice.

I choose to trust everyone. I haven’t been badly hurt by anyone in my life except the people who said “Trust me, I know what’s best.”

From my parents to social workers to an older boyfriend to credit card companies and insurance salesmen, those who’ve claimed I could trust them have always been snakes-in-the-grass.

my thoughts on the trust issue is more like “trust those that would trust you, because the ones that wouldn’t trust you are far more likely to ruin your trust in them.”
It also goes “trust no one” but only rarely

OK2BU made a good point i think when he said “we live in desperate times and no matter how hard we may try to live up to a higher standard of trust worthiness we still are capable of doing desperate things…..”The way the economy is and getting worse things may get even worse so maybe we need to be more careful than ever b4′

But do we really all have that,instincts? I dont think my daughter did when she was at gunpoint then raped by 6 men at the age of 15.I really don’t think she had that. Im not arguing or anything. just a point cuz im trying to figure out ‘instinct’ too….and Im like this too. ’shame me once, shame on you, shame me twice ,shame on me’

How terrible!

I believe we all have intuition. It’s similiar to instinct, but it’s based on experience, not just built-in at birth. Your daughter didn’t have a chance. Not only was she not old enough to have the experience neccesary to ‘read’ men like those, but also because predators have spent their whole lives learning ways to circumvent and short-circuit their victim’s internal warning system. :(

i believe that… you shouldnt trust anyone fully.

in my own life, i have given all of my trust to many people only to be screwed over in life. i do however believe that you should give trust to an extent… just not fully because you never know what someone is truly like behind closed doors and what they could really do to screw up your life.

if you cant trust anyone, you cant really have any type of meaningful relationship at all. not trusting your spouse? mayaswell not be married….

Worst advice?

“In the long run it doesn’t really matter what you do.”

Dragon Lady, you make a good point about the predators but in this case they were all kids themselves all around 19. thanks 4 caring.:)

youre not a kid at 19. you **** well know right from wrong.

It is bad advice to “trust no one” In everyday living you have no choice but to trust. I have some very big trust issues of my own,however trust is something that I have learned,can easily be broken. Trust is to be earned and needs to be fosterd. Without trust you stand still.

It is a fact that the prefrontal lobe of our brain is the last part of the brain to develop, it is still developing and not fully developed until the age of 17 - 25. Ironically, this is also the “control center” for our cognitive thinking, and where our inhibitions come from. So, it comes to reason that not all teens (and younger), seem to share that same sort of ‘instinct’ (although I disagree with the use of that word in this case) or intuition. This is where the ‘Invincible Teen’ comes from.

Trust is a learned response, as is the lack of trust.

Why do people who are the closest to us, sometimes break that bond of trust?
[just my impression] We are more easily able to forgive, our child, our spouse, or our closet of friend, because at some level, I think that they know, there is a possibility that they will be forgiven. Maybe because we may, more clearly understand their motives or because love will always trump what may be a minor infraction from their perspective. When love is taken for granted, our trust is also…

I trust friends or people that I have faith in like family or people extremely close to me.

“No one” to me would consist of all the other people out there in the world that I don’t know. I don’t know what they’re capable of which probably makes me not trust them.

That’s my stance on it at least.

Trust is an odd thing…It has many differemt degrees, I mean you can trust someone to catch you if you fall back into their arms, you can trust them not to backstab you if you tell them a secret or you could trust them to put your feelings above of their own. What I am trying to say is that trust isn’t all the same…You can trust people with different things, some smaller or bigger that others. I trust few people outside of Help.com but I have never trusted someone with every little thought that goes through my mind.

I trust people on here in a way…Although it is a weird kind of trust. Friends you make online can be ignored just by turning off your computer, even if they does at away at your mind. I tell people on here just about everything that happens to me but I wouldn’t trust them to choose me over them in a life death situation. I guess because I have never met them and I don’t know that they are real people going through the problems they say they are I can’t fully trust anyone on here 100%. I did used to…But Bexi/Mera brought me to my senses. Some people on here I would bet my life on them being real though.

Trusting people in real life is hard for me, everyone I once trusted had back stabbed and used me. I have tried trusting everyone and I have tried trusting no one, both of the outcomes for this throw me into a fit of depression. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

No I would never tell someone to trust no one, as this will result in a terrible life of depression and probably suicide eventually if you cannot reply on yourself.

works for me fine, you don’t have to put real trust in someone to be happy. little stuff, maybe, like trusting they like having you around and that you can hang out fine and such, but it isn’t always necessary to disclose very personal information about yourself in order to enjoy life.

well, it’s definitely not the worst ever!…. i can even be the best in some situation… like, you’ll never know