I don’t know how I feel exactly.
I’m a bit drunk I guess, but I really don’t know how I feel right now. I have visited a friend of mine. I told her about my day and it didn’t really change much, she didn’t say much about it either. Here goes.
Last wednesday my mom called me just before my boyfriend finished making dinner, so I didn’t have much time. She told me that my fathers heart-rythm was off again. He’s had shocks to set this right three times before. He was to have a new shock this friday (today). He’’s 70 now, and not a very healthy man. He has less than half the lung-capacity of a healthy man his age. The medicine he gets to keep his heart rythm (how do you properly spell that? I don’t know anymore right now) going is affecting his kidney function. This has gotten pretty bad by now and he isn’t allowed salt anymore.
The second thing my mom told me was that my little cat, which was mine from when I was about 16 and I only saw anymore when I visited my parents, was very sick. I already knew she was having a hard time, getting thinner and thinner every week, staying away for whole days. Because she could be pretty wild and my mom didn’t have a proper cat bench to move her in she hadn’t gone to the vet yet. But now this wednesday she went and she told me that the doctor said the cat had diabetes. She got some special food, that was just about all left to try.
So today I called my parents to see what happened. I got my dad on the line because my mom was out walking with the dog. It turned out that he didn’t have a shock after all because the rhytm had gone back to normal on its own. It had done that before, which had been very annoying vecause it would turn back again once he had left the doctor’’s office leaving him very tired. But today he actually seemed happy he didn’t get the shock, because he hadn'’t really noticed the rhytm change himself yet or been tired or anything. In fact he had been feeling pretty good lately. (they noticed the rhytm going off at the fysiotherapist).
He also told me, when I asked after her, that the cat was dead. She hadn’t wanted to eat the special food (she was always extremely particular about food) and had been in pain from a bladder infection. They had the dog smell her dead body, her brother too, so they would know what had happened and wouldn’t be searching for her.
So, now here I am. I guess I'’m happy my dad’s heart is ticking right again. But I’m quite scared over the kidney function. And I don'’t want what happened last time, the heart ticking irregularly except when they went to the doctors to fix it..
And I feel sad for my little kitten. But she was over ten years old and my mother did the right thing. I know she loved it dearly and would have taken all measures available to help it. And I haven’t seen her often anyway, I have two dear cats at my home. But she was my kitten from young. I just don’t know what I’m feeling. I know that’’s allright, but I just don’t know. I guess I just needed to write it all down here… Thanks for reading.
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