Love help: I don’t know what to f******** do anymore.

This post left anonymously

I don’t know what to f******** do anymore.

I just want to die already.
I know how common depression and sh*t is. I haven’t been diagnosed with it yet, but that’s probably what it is. I don’t want to live. Every bit of me is begging to die. I just can’t take any of this crap anymore. I’ve tried to kill myself four times now, and I do slice my arms up when I’m feeling depressed (which is all the time, really). I cry myself to sleep every night, I never feel happy or smile, and there seems to be nothing I like doing. I’ve talked to people before but it doesn’t seem to help. And when I’m not sad i’m angry. I feel pure intense hatred. I feel like I want to seriously rip people apart, but since I can’t hurt others I have to hurt myself. I sometimes wonder if I’m going insane. I have violent thoughts and dreams, and write poems and stories that are equally violent. I don’t know what to do. I have no friends, and hate my ‘family.’ I’m so alone. I just wish someone would love me. I wish someone would just come save me already. But I’m sick of having wishes never come true, and having unrealistic goals. I’m sick of living. I see no point, and I just want to die. But I even fail at that, and I just don’t know what to f******** do anymore.

This open post was written 1 year, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 259, 9, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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friends, poetry, suicide, sleep, Love, Dream, happiness, life, Family, writing (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot 2 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
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smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (8 minutes after post)

Who was the first person ever made you angry? also If you get your temporary focus off your emotions it will help you process them without losing your sanity. tell me why your so mad …

Help me with: Been thinking about the past

sshalini864 19 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (19 minutes after post)

i feel the same as you. :(

Help me with: ho!

Dragon_Lady 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (42 minutes after post)

You need to see a doctor. Just understanding you’re depressed isn’t enough. Just talking to someone isn’t enough. You need real, professional, medical help.

There are medicines that will help rebalance your brain chemistry. This is a physical problem, and it requires a physical cure.

(2)

Help me with: Introducing my son.

Morgan 13 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (58 minutes after post)

well said dragon lady

Help me with: Psychological thrillers

smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

however anytime you need to talk feel free to do so.

Help me with: Been thinking about the past

Lacuna 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 3 minutes after post)

why are you so angry?

HeavenlyDemonic 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (5 hours, 30 minutes after post)

tell you what.. I’ve been there and i cant say im completely out of it, and i can give you nothing but a good piece of advice and the reccomendation to give my advice a thought. You just have to get into your head that whoever is making you feel angry or hurt isn’t worth being in your life. Now, I dont mean you should go out there and just rip him apart, I mean you should just get into your head that this person is not worth making you feel this way. So just shut everyone who’s not worth being around and/or talking to out of your life so you can finally be in peace with yourself.

One last thing though: About the self-cutting habit, I’ve been there and trying to recover.. It’s really hard to stop with but try to divert your anger and hate towards something else.. say, punching a pillow? Playing sports? you just have to find what makes you feel better other than hurting yourself and you’ll feel a lot better, believe me.

Help me with: A Lil help needed!

i kill help bots 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (16 hours, 25 minutes after post)

There are hundreds of others who feel the same way, i was depressed for a period of time; try getting friends, there always helpful,unless there pricks, and in that case screw em. but relax and think: so much of you life is ahead of you ,and surely not of it isn’t going to be as bad as it it now.

It’ll go uphill sooner, or later, good luck

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I don’t know what to f******** do anymore.

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