life help: i have a marriage issue problem - Help.com



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i have a marriage issue problem

hello , i am writing to this page because i am searching for solution for my problem , i am 29 years old single , all my life i knew how to solve everything whether its a technical issue or a family issues , solutions come to me instantly. so my culture my family introduced me to a girl and we where at first OK no problems , we agreed to get married in 2009 in june. and i would go back to canada and to recieve my promotion and new position in the company i work in , we had no problems we talked on the phone and laughed,any all is good.
she went to a vacation to the states and hadn’t talked to her then for 2 weeks i said its ok maybe she has no phone , 3rd week i get a call from her uncle wants to know me, ya know introduction, it was ok, and everything was ok for a week , then after that i got a second call from the uncle , warning me that this matter is not ok, and needs to be resolved, i asked , he wanted me to get married this year , then i get a call from her and she is sayin within 2 weeks i need to come to her families home in amman and get married now , like i ask why the rush , no response, i explained to my family they became upset and said move on she is not good, then i got another call from her wants me to hire a lawyer to give someone in my family power of attorney to marry us .
this seemed not right to me at all. now its been 3 weeks and never heard from them , the problem is not her or her parents its her uncle , and he made everything worse for everyone , i explained i cannot leave i just received a new position and the company wont let me leave 2 vacations in the same year. and i dont want to lose the position, i dont know what to do , i feel stuck should i leave work ane be jobless and go marry her or should i stay and move on. my brother told me to give them one chance at the end of this month if they insist on rushing marriage then its over , but i dont know i feel like i am lost i dont know what to do. all my life everything is so complicated, maybe its me ??? please help

This open post was written 1 year, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 272, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Post Tags (12)

Canada, marriage, lawyer, Alkane, EnroN, state, Culture, Unemployment, amman, life, long distance relationship, family problems (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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mesatanlove offline Verified User (2 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (20 minutes after post)

its not you. jry to talk to her alone and find out the biger issue. If it is as you make it sound then maybe she fills rushed too. see why she isent talking to you unless its to rush the weeding. Also, ask her what is more imporent to her, a weeding that can wait or a job that cant. If she makes yu take her over the job, then sorry to say but you brother might be right. She dosent have your best intrests at heart and she needs to leave.It herts to hear but a wife should always but the well-being of the marrige befor the illrashnal need of her family.

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chev.jame offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (27 minutes after post)

Hello, Anon! By the description of your situation, I deduce that you are Muslim. Very well! I think you are quite right to be concerned about your promotion and your job in Canada. It is usually not a good thing to go into a new job and then immediately take two weeks off. Of course, there can be extenuating circumstances. The uncle is definite a meddler, i.e., someone who likes to interfere in things that are none of his business. While your fiance was in the States, this uncle was undoubtedly filling her head with worries, doubts and anxieties. Very likely he told her that if you went to Canada and stayed very long without being married to her, you would find someone else and forget about her. I deduce that such a concern is your fiance’s (and your uncle’s) chief worry right now. Yes, you need to explain to your fiance that in order for the two of you to be firmly established, you need to start your job right away. If you should end up unemployed, you could forget meeting the eligibility requirements to sponsor your wife’s immigration to Canada. I think you need to talk to your fiance directly, without anyone else’s interference or meddling, and get her to understand the responsibilities you must fulfill in your new job promotion. If may alleviate everyone’s concerns if you set a marriage date perhaps two or three months from now. If your fiance won’t budge, I would seriously consider looking for another fiance–and there are many, many nice Muslim women in Canada!

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