Find help: you made me cry v/s I cried today.

smicki

you made me cry v/s I cried today.

my feelings do not get hurt often. I took someone as ahead of themselves. If i told you the honest truth about myself and you completely negated me as a person and insulted me and I cried is that my fault or yours.
In my opinion everything I do is my responsibility to bear including what I feel. I find when an insult engages an emotion in me that I have something to look at inside myself. I needed to release those tears by the way thank you. perhaps I am revolting but since I can’t run away from myself I may as well attempt to find out why.

This open post was written 2 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 136, 11, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post smicki may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. smicki is a verified member, has been around for 2 months, 2 weeks and has 17 posts and 501 replies to their name.

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Truth, Emotion, Bear, Person, Find, tears, Attempt, Insult, honesty, opinion (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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overlrodmunch #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

Crying is something that we all need to do once in a while.

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smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (9 minutes after post)

you control your action in regards to it. You can control what thoughts you internalize.

Help me with: fundamental truths that will not change due to any circumstances save death.

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PoetryVisualized.com 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (31 minutes after post)

Sorry but I disagree “In my opinion everything I do is my responsibility to bear including what I feel.” I think everything is connected and action forces reaction. Even no reaction is a reaction! You can’t blame your self for everything and you can’t blame others for everything but the truth is we are one just all a part. Disconnected if you want from us the world and nature. I think that’s just human kind. Don’t know if that helps. Just wanted to comment. My best!

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smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (42 minutes after post)

I am responsible for my reaction too. look I will only ever be accountable for me and what I do. putting yourself in an situation of relying on an expectation is a choice you make. Expecting others to with open mindedness and being disappointed may be reason to feel hurt but the simple fact is it was never really just that your own expectation. You cannot control others actions or reactions and I wont take responsibility for them either as long as I am not intending to invoke them to use to my own advantage.

manipulation is always our own responsibility where ever it stems from. The cycle has to break and that means looking at it honestly and dealing with what’s wrong.

Help me with: fundamental truths that will not change due to any circumstances save death.

molotok 31 #
G�vle, 03, SE | 2 months, 1 week ago (10 hours, 35 minutes after post)

I don’t think it is wise to try to control your emotions too much, as well as it is not good to dwell in them.

This is not very easy. If somebody insults you or abuses you to the point that you cry, you should not blaim yourself for that crying.

You may need to work on your self esteem, so that you realize that you did not earn that abusive treatment, which in turn may result in that you can shake it off easier without feeling hurt.
But that is not the same thing, not at all!

Because the one who looks for his/her own faults all the time, as the reason for being mistreated, is only a grain from becoming controlled by the abuser!

I am not perfect and you are not perfect (I guess). We all have our shortcomings. But this is part of what makes each individual unique, and we still have the right to be treated in a decent way!

In one of your own replies on another post, you also pointed out that the offensive person may do this because of his/her own shortcomings or insecurity.

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smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (20 hours, 40 minutes after post)

“This is not very easy. If somebody insults you or abuses you to the point that you cry, you should not blame yourself for that crying”

It’s not about blame it’s about solution. I am not saying It is my fault although I was involved in the discussion it was compounded by issues that the other person clearly had not dealt with. Considering the fact I have a long line of haters that call me names and mock me openly and It doesn’t even bring a niggle of irritation anymore the fact that this insult did actually affect me showed me I needed to investigate why. my options were

1. get mad at the person who said it (blame)

2. look inside myself and see why it affected me and lessen one less misunderstanding within myself. (solution)

I can’t change anyone else but I don’t have to let myself go just because others chose to. you may not understand it or agree but it works well for me.

Help me with: fundamental truths that will not change due to any circumstances save death.

molotok 31 #
G�vle, 03, SE | 2 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 31 minutes after post)

Yes it obviously works well for you, and that is the important thing. I believe that is because you have enough self esteem to handle it in that way. I at least believe that I understand you.

I was objectig a little because I know some people who tried to change themselves to suit and satisfy others, which only made their self esteem lower.

Help me with: A strange ”sponsored link”.

smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 35 minutes after post)

I don’t … the reason I was upset at all is because I misjudged the person as rational minded when he clearly wasn’t. Did he have a right to take out his frustration on me … hell no. However, I am only responsible for my actions and reactions. I came away from this with more confidence and understanding in myself. can anyone ask for more out of a situation.

Help me with: fundamental truths that will not change due to any circumstances save death.

smicki 25 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 37 minutes after post)

I believe it to be firmly a waste of time to try and change others if they are not trying to change. Or to spend my time thinking about what’s wrong with them when I could be bettering me.

Help me with: fundamental truths that will not change due to any circumstances save death.

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