Love help: Do I leave my county to go live with the guy I love? - Help.com

What country would you be going to?

Only Moving from Cornwall to Devon (England) which doesnt sound that far, but everything I’ve worked towards for 3 years is in Cornwall. I don’t know if I can carry on with it from Devon.

This is really tearing me apart x

Depend on your feeling and lots of thing but…. Why not ?

I did. Twice. It was for a different guy each time… (yeah, but this one is the last one, hopefully :D!) I had some hard time, but now I’m just the most happiest one on the world :-) !… If you can continue with a good study/job there anyway and don’t forget to also make your own social network there in case something goes wrong, if you don’t have anything about traveling and discovering a new culture (which is great), it’s cool.

At least, for me, even if something goes wrong in our reliationship, I wont regret it, I speak french, english and dutch, I am doing the study I always dreams of, and you know… Life is boring if you don’t take risk ;-) !

thankyou cdeme
i suppose if i dont take a risk i could miss out
but then… what if i miss out by leaving behind opportunities i could have if i stay where i am.

i should explain better, i am now in cornwall but i come from devon.
he’s in devon so i’d be moving home effectively.

i came to cornwall to study design and i have some good opportunities here now that i’ve finished my course. should i leave them behind for a man?
(he really is an amazing man! i love him with all my heart, unfortunately he cannot move to cornwall because his little girl lives with him, it’s complicated but basically he cant move)

x

Yeah well, we can’t decide for you. It really depend of so much factors, but it’s a choice of hearth, intuition… Anyway you will never know what you’ll have miss whatever you choose.

How far is each city actually ? You can also try to see each other each weekend and see how it goes, I don’t know, maybe you’re already doing this… Is there really no opportunities for you in Devon ? I think the best is to put it rationally on a paper +/- points, and sleep on it for some time, and I some point it will be clear either or not you should move (and important to live also a bit together before if not already done to see if you can really stand each other living at the same place :p).

And ask yourself the right question: What is the most important for you ? and for him ? …

Good luck !

it’s only about 2 and a half hours drive. and yes we see eachother as much as we can, every couple of weeks usually.

i know you’re right, no one can tell me what to do for the best, but it’s good hearing the different perspectives other people have as it helps me to see it in a fresh light.

thankyou so much.

i’m writing the +/- lists now!

x

ONLY you can answer that, my friend!!!!

Stay where you are. When your love grows serious enough to MOVE for, you won’t have to ask the question.

Also, when it IS time for one of you to move—assuming that time comes—do your legwork first, lining up a job, housing, and all the things that will make your life complete. Don’t just trash your whole life and go.

hmm,
i dont like hearing it but i know you’re right
the housing’s sorted cos he’s got a place that’s perfect already.
but you’ve got a point about the job.

thankyou for the voice of reason!
x

oh, and the list of points for staying is as long as the list of points for going
so i guess i might be stumped :(

Then maybe start to put a “ponderation” (weight) to each… Theresape might also be right, it all depend on your feeling about this relationship and if the life in Devon would be nice anyway without him ? Hmm?

You need time to decide anyway, good luck !

I am sure that, when and if the time comes for you to be with him, great opportunities will open up for you in Devon. That’s the way life works.

Just don’t go there until they do—–or until you are so madly in love that nothing else matters.

Good luck!

Thanks guys, you’ve made me see it in a much more sensible light.
It’s good to have a different perspective on things sometimes :)

I’m gonna give myself time to think about things and not rush into it…
Like you say, if it’s right now, it’ll still be right later on
And theresape, your last comment is SO true, when the time is right all will be made easy.. Thanks for reminding me!

I love you all!

x

Good luck, hon–meanwhile, remember, you guys are only 2.5 hours apart! It could be a lot worse!

So I guess him moving to Cornwall would be out of the question then?