It has been days things have been tough on me. No one did it but i guess i am trapped due to an unhappy past. I find it difficult to let go of those terrible days.
Please do not ask me what happened. I would not be willing to disclose it.
Please send me warm hugs instead.
Thank you.
This closed post was written 4 years, 8 months ago
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Since writing this post ☆lilies☆
may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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i can’t stop crying and i look stupid. met my counselor days now. it did not help much. yesterday talked with my teacher about something. then it linked with a past i wanted to leave behind. now it is haunting me again.
Positive attitude and self appreciation will do you the world of good. I can’t change your unhappy past, but I can offer this bit of advice… nobody can ever or will ever love you as much as you can love yourself, so do it and make yourself happy! xxxooxooxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox
Lilies you are so precious and so giving. Life is hard on those who hold themselves to being kind. You have my hand, I extend it to you, in return for all of the times you have given me yours. Your friend SoulRising:)
Someone i am close with asked me for a few days off, they could not take the pressure i am giving them. i know no one is responsible for my happiness but i needed someone to talk to. they just feel like i am struggling and cannot be there for me at this moment.
I feel like they left while i am shattered. i know they want me to find myself. but it also hurts to see them walk away from me.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?… Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - From Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech (1994)- Correction From Marianne Williamson - “Return to Love”
Lilies… I am sending you lots of hugs… and when I feel sorry for myself or depressed I like to read Helen Keller quotes (I may have told you that before)… anyway she really did have a difficult life, but she never gave up! Don’t give up on yourself and as soon as you can give yourself a hug, your friend will be back. I’m sorry that he/she left you when you are feeling glum -some friends are better at certain things… I hope all the love here in your post helps you feel better.
Love.
S
{{{BIG BEAR HUGS}}} from MamBear. honey, im off to bed, in pain with an ulcer (i think) but also tired but just had 2 come give you hugs. the reason im sharing here is to show you how much YOU mean to me and i KNOW others care just as much, if not more. We Love you sweetie, {{more Hugs}}, Kim
I went away for some hours i thought i need some time away just to think. But it was hilarious it made me shed some tears. I get embarrassed when i need to cry and there are people around.
ScreaminglyWonderful wrote: I’m sorry that he/she left you when you are feeling glum -some friends are better at certain things… I hope all the love here in your post helps you feel better.
Love.
S
It is all my fault. I wish i just did not share too much of myself to them. Now that they decided to go i feel like something in me was taken away. It cuts deep to be honest.
Anonymous#
4 years, 8 months ago (8 hours, 30 minutes after post)
One of the most stringent conditions all angels must meet,
other than double-advanced harp playing and skydiving abilities (not necessarily at the same time),
is that they must not allow themselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices made by others, no matter how much they’ve done for them nor how great their love.
~lilies~ wrote: Ben is still asleep. He does all the helping he can.
I know! This is a secret so don’t tell you, but I looked at your shout-trail and it had all sorts of really nice pictures, it was like walking out into daylight from the confusing nightmare of posts I was reading. ok back to main topic now.
You guys make me giggle.
Yes, he is in London.
Sometimes he needs to rest from my weary world.
And about the shout trail, pictures would surely calm me down.
He does that to help me.
hey lilies it makes me sad to see you still sad and suffering, while i came and went and now am back… lilies you know the guyz on this site are the best , i cant understand why you dont share with them , there some some really really nice ppl on this site , that you can trust , i think you need to get ur problems off ur shoulders and stop holding everything inside , cause it is eatting you alive i think you should free urself from the secrets you hold in ur heart that brings you sadness… even if it is hard at first but you have to do what you have to do … i really wish you the best in life and it’s sad i live all the way in the other part of the world and i really cant be of any physical help…
p.s : we are not perfect and we will never be , learn to like ur imperfection
Tricky, thanks for that.I’m sorry you always see me sad. And i do tell people why i’m feeling down. It’s just that i just could not tell everything in a post for everyone to know the detail of what i have been hiding.
I do tell people when they get close to me but to tell everything to everyone makes it very difficult. At least for me.
So when i am in the middle of something and when people i am close to leave to live their own lives, i come back to all of you and ask for support.
People are busy with their own lives, so i would need to pay someone to listen to me. Someone who does not know me so i can repeat my stories from the very start.
I get headaches every after the counseling and i turn so weak. With no one to talk to, it’s a little heavy sometimes. I of course move on with my life and get on with new stuff, but certain things make me remember about what happened.
It does not happen everyday though. But lately it has been doing so.
I can change and do something about it Tricky, i have been doing that ever since. But i think this year i become too sensitive and emotional that i hate it.
hey dont get down on yourself. if you need someone to talk to you have plenty of ppl here that would gladly talk with you and help you out (sure you know that by now though lol). As for the hug how bout i give you a bunch of them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cipTQW…
Lilies you are beautiful inside and out. I have seen parts of your soul and your outer beauty. The day you realize how truly beautiful you are, is the day you will be free. Don’t allow others from your past to continue to control your future. You can be anything you want, as long as you believe it is possible. Many of us feel anxiety sometimes, but the key is to fight it and continue to move forward. Anxiety and depression are walls that keep you from making the positive changes that will improve you life. In many ways they are the evils that keep us from letting our souls shine through in this world. You are a strong woman, so allow the world to see your beauty.
Mari
most ppl are busy with there lives and really dont give a **** if we are suffering or not , that’s typical… you dont have to pay some ppl who dont know what they are talking about or know how to listen to somebody… we are free :D help.com :D best help for free .. you know the best things in life are free but we are too blind to see that sometime ^_^ …
you just have to learn to depend more on urself and pull urself up when you fall , but sometimes the fall is just to hard i understand…
i know sometimes the chains of the past may hurt us just dont focus on it and it hurts… the more you focus on it the worst it seem…
try to keep in mind what’s done is done we cant do anything about it , we can only move forward in life… if you think about the past or not it is the past and has nothing to do with you right now , so try to learn from it and move on… i know it’s easier said than done , keep ur mind strong…
you cant change the past but you decided to live happy from now on and forget about the past
You got all the hugs in the world. And, Lilies, do not worry about the past. The past is gone. The present is lost as it arrives. There is only the future.
You are a beautiful person who has brightened the lives of so many others.
I am just going to start my day and go to work so i cannot stay long. But i will come back soon to talk to you later.
This is just to let you know that EVERY message here is embedded in my heart now and i will read them again when i am relaxed. It feels just right to read your thoughts and messages.
Guys, you never know how much all of these help me make it through the night. I want to say THANK YOU for the never ending wishes of hope and love that a struggling person needs.
Hello, i think today has been long as expected. But my heart feels lighter.
Maybe because i got a lot of cheers from you all.
I feel a lot nicer when i have someone close to me whom i can get strength from, like to laugh with, share thoughts with etc. Their attention and closeness help me survive. I am usually a happy person. But i also have the tendency to get clingy to people close to me. And when they do something else, i panic and think that they change their minds about me and that they are not coming back again.
I usually get scared to lose them. I have the tendency to be possessive and i know people won’t like that.
Get obsessive and possessive here :) we like that sort of stuff lol, We all will be your friends and you can always unload your prob. on us. Who knows we may decide to unload on you, lol, lol …..
I doubt it, lol, lol, we all can get that way from time to time :)By the way, like your name.There use to be a good perfume called lilies of the valley, but can’t find :( Maybe I’ll have to resort to my old friend MR. GOOGLE, he knows everything lol.
everyone can get clingy every once in a while especially after feeling really crappy. im sure if someone likes you (friend or other wise) they can deal with the clingyness. im sure ppl here including myself could deal with it lol
seas light wrote: I doubt it, lol, lol, we all can get that way from time to time :)By the way, like your name.There use to be a good perfume called lilies of the valley, but can’t find :( Maybe I’ll have to resort to my old friend MR. GOOGLE, he knows everything lol.
I’ve seen that somewhere but have not tried it. Does it smell good? ;)
zimbobwa wrote: everyone can get clingy every once in a while especially after feeling really crappy. im sure if someone likes you (friend or other wise) they can deal with the clingyness. im sure ppl here including myself could deal with it lol
Thanks for that although i think i overdo things sometimes.
Is it true that people would love to hang out with happy people?
The sad ones offer so much regarding friendships. To be sad, is to feel. So many people can be superficial. Your qualities are real and genuine. A sensitive soul with a lot of heart. A pleasure to be a friend with one possessing your qualities.Never change who you are :)
seas light wrote: The sad ones offer so much regarding friendships. To be sad, is to feel. So many people can be superficial. Your qualities are real and genuine. A sensitive soul with a lot of heart. A pleasure to be a friend with one possessing your qualities.Never change who you are :)
seas light wrote: The sad ones offer so much regarding friendships. To be sad, is to feel. So many people can be superficial. Your qualities are real and genuine. A sensitive soul with a lot of heart. A pleasure to be a friend with one possessing your qualities.Never change who you are :)
wow that way good…***the house stands and give seaslight a standing ovation***
My Dear Lilies.Im sorry your not doing well,But just remeber this.You are a very strong person.You help others and your kind. xoxoxo
You also give joys to others. Get well x
Hi Cody, yes been days now. Up and down mood actually. I just need some support right now. I know most of you are busy with stuff. But just can’t sleep yet.
Both? oh i don’t want to worry and i certainly want to relax. Now i feel crazy, i even think i would need to try relaxing too.
Cody, how do you easily trust someone? do you give your trust 100 percent? don’t you have doubts they feel the same way about you? i’m talking about close friends and loved ones. Are you scared they’d go away and never come back?
Trust, huh? Well, there is only one person that I completely trust 100%. I am not going to turn this into a religious post or anything, but Jesus is the only person I trust like that. That is just how it is. There are people I know that I would trust with my life, but there are other things that I would not trust them with. I am not too frightened of losing people as it has happened so often with me. Many times when someone cannot trust others as much as he wants to it shows that there is something else that needs to be dealt with. Does that make sense?
~lilies~ wrote: how do you easily trust someone? do you give your trust 100 percent? don’t you have doubts they feel the same way about you? i’m talking about close friends and loved ones. Are you scared they’d go away and never come back?
Trust isnt an easy thing to come by. it take a long time to completely trust someone. And even then you can not tust them with everything. Think of it like this…your family…you love and trust your family correct with mostly everything. the key word there is MOSTLY. The reason i say that is because there are somthings that you would rather not tell them im sure. so in a way you do not trust them 100% but maybe only 95% or 98%. And of course everyone has doubts and of course sometimes they are scared that people are going to leave them, but thats somthing that everyone has to deal with at some point. Family is always going to be family no matter what. Friends on the other do come and go but that is somthing you have to deal with on your own. Nobody can tell you how to feel in a certain situation. Hope that helps a little :)
The trick is to be wary of trusting someone until you know them. I believe 99% of people are trustworthy, but that still leaves a minority that may hurt you, deliberate or not. So taking time to build trust is to me an important step.
I trust people in general because I trust in their humanity, I trust we are all deep down the same. I’d expect someone to trust me (unless I gave a reason for them not too), so I offer the same thing to others.
When it comes to trusting someone 100%, you have to truly believe they have your best intentions at heart. Since we are generally selfish beings, this sort of trust I reserve for a “soul mate”, or family. People who I know love me, and want the best for me.
I think it crazy to trust anyone else 100%, because you have to allow for them having their own agenda, their own life to live. I have friends I’d trust with my life, but I still don’t want to trust them with the inner workings of my brain, my hopes and fears. But this trust is still very important, without it I’d be very lonely… I’ve been very lonely.
I just keep telling myself that human compassion will win the day, that my close friends will always be there for me. Life might rock this trust to it’s very foundations, but as long as I have faith, I feel I can trust.
My SWEET friend, we ALL have a past that haunt us! But, we live with it…and go on…and you are a strong person and like the rest of us, you will survive. You have a wonderful son to keep you going.. That is a true blessing!
I sometimes wonder what people mean by trusting others. I will go back a number of years ago, a single parent mother of three, that I know. Suffering from severe depression, trusted me completely. We were very good friends.
I moved in with them for a time, to help with supporting the family. The mother neglected the children and herself, she violently abused the children. One of the children had reported this to the social services and the police, the child was not believed. When I moved in I saw it happen with my own eyes. There was no doubt about it happening.
I reported it to the social services and the police, they told me. “There is nothing we can do about it, she will deny it. It will be your word against hers.”
I did in the end manage to get it investigated, the outcome was that the two eldest children were removed into care, they reckoned the youngest one was quite safe to stay.
For some years, the lady in question, reckoned I had betrayed here trust. Now she realizes that I was right in what I did. That it had got terribly out of hand and needed to be dealt with.
She realized that she needed help to cope with the depression, that was the route cause of the problems. That not only did she trust me but the children did as well, I hope I did the right thing, I tried to repay the trust. I think it worked, they are now a happy family instead of an unhappy one. Although it lost me the friendship of the mother, it was worth it. Very much so as it bonded the family together in the end.
I think that trust involves a lot of love, sometimes that love seems harsh and unfair, sometimes it needs actions like these, to make it work.
After saying that, what sort of trust is it that you are having difficulty with?
I think that love and trust pluss hope are things we need to give to others, so that we can get them back in return.
We often get hurt in doing this, we just have to start over again and give it one more shot, then another and ad infenitum.
You are b> i>so special /i> /b> ~lilies~ .
We all love you dearly. Your presence on this site is what makes Help.com a nice place for people to come to. My heart hurts for you for whatever you are going through that’s difficult at this time. I’ve just finished saying a prayer for you.
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And some couples kissing too. *sigh. :)Thank you for the prayers. I keep my own silent prayer too. I have some of them in my pocket every time i need a lift or when i feel no one seems to understand.
Trust.
I find it really difficult to express what i feel and when i do it seems like people misunderstand my point. Maybe i just want to feel validated. Someone told me days back to STOP telling ‘i feel’ ‘i feel’ i feel’. Because they said it would stop me for thinking rational.
Uhm. If i won’t FEEL, so how would i be able to know what it is really troubling me inside?
Friends, thank you for the emails i get from you. I do i appreciate them. You are asking me why i feel this way. Somehow i think i am misunderstood because i cannot just say everything i think and therefore, feel.
And when i start opening my mouth or start typing, some would say ‘i don’t even think you should feel that way’.
Uhm, so when i am told that way, how would i be able to tell what i feel?
oh dear, i am confusing.
Pls remember English is not my native language so i kinda find it hard to express stuff.
Its ok lovebug, I am here if you need, about to go to work though, but you can yahoo later if you want. Hope to hear from you latter, missed you the last few days.
To put a youtube video on, you need to do the following. First you need to type in [youtube: that is then followed by the saved (coppied url) it now becomes this :- [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cipTQWASGMM you now add the closing bracket, it becomes this :-
bad memories of the past are horrible arnt they.Some times you forget and sometimes you feel you just can’t stop thinking about it for ages and you gets you down. i hope you feel better soon. My boyfriend told me to not thik about the past or dwel on it, but to look forward at all the good things in life.
maybe you should go on this, go on youtube and type in “How to be nerd”. I think its really funny so it might cheer you up alittle or make you forget for a second *hugs* soz I was a lil late too, let us know if you feel better xxx
Look at the now. Accept the past and don’t dwell on the future. All the animals on the earth have been here as long or longer than any person on earth and what do they worry about, nothing, so why are we called the superior beings, what have we really accomplished that they havent, stress and worry. People make things hard on themselves.
*HUGS* trust me, I know all about this kinda stage in your life, all you need to think about is that it will not last and there are people and ways to make you feel relaxed and happy!
I think of getting sad too, and you know I think it is kinda inevetable. But that’s the thing, you can’t change it. So in a funny way, there is no need to fear it. Or worry about it.
The thing I concentrate on is not the inevetability of sadness, its the inevetability of being happy again! =)
Hello Becky, so good to see you here, thank you for the greetings. :)
Hmmm, trying to smile. Hoping things will brighten soon. I miss you, chat girl! :)
Hey! I’ve been super busy with work recently and haven’t had much time to think! I’m glad you’re trying to smile, I hope it gets easier to do as time goes on. Keep going girl, you’ll get there. I believe in you. xx
I’m quarantined today. Went for a check up due to some pains in my lower abdomen. So for three days i need to stay home. It’s good to be resting and stay home with my kid to play, but i’m tired staying at home. Complete rest was given as part of the three day observation. :(
Anonymous#
4 years, 7 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)
I hope that things are looking up for you. I have also been through rough times. I try to tell myself that what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. Cheesey and over used but still true!
Anonymous#
4 years, 7 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)
because of what I said???? I am so SO SORRY if thats the case. Really I didn’t mean for that to happen. If I made your day worse I really am extremly sorry.
Please accept a sincere appology from me.
Oh no, sorry if you took it that way, your words helped. I was just a little low today being at home. So i was not feeling well. I feel better now. Thank you.
~lilies~ wrote: Ben is still asleep. He does all the helping he can.
I know! This is a secret so don’t tell you, but I looked at your shout-trail and it had all sorts of really nice pictures, it was like walking out into daylight from the confusing nightmare of posts I was reading. ok back to main topic now.
I feel happy today. Since this morning. I don’t know why but i just feel good inside. Two boys in my life are feeling very sick and are both resting. If this happened days back i would be very sad. But today, i feel up! :)
hey lillies. i see u closed the other post but i read as you advised. thanks, it was good to read and get that different perpective most of what was said i could apply to my own probs. also, i just wanted to say you shouldnt feel guilty for sharing your problems, after all we all have them! it doesnt make your help of any less value, i see how much you help others. keep up the good work and i hope youre doing better.
Hello there cloudless, thank you for the thoughtfulness of coming here because the latest one was closed. And i appreciate it. Hugs to you. It’s not easy to post something that’s really from the bottom.
Crazy.Firework wrote: Amazingly warm hugs :D
Take care, lilies.
xx
I am getting well everyday, thank you for listening to me. I read this post as i go through some difficulties and sure this helps a lot.
There is always room for improvement and i am getting there. Some days are harder than the rest but better count the laughter than the tears. And count the lessons i have learned and take them as i take another step forward.
I have learned a lot in this site. To be humble enough to tell people i need help and not minding some who judge me for what i feel, how i see things and what i have done. When in truth, i am looking for answers to questions that they themselves are seeking for.
But real friends take you as who you are and i am very glad i have lots of those.
Thank you for coming to this post and for believing that i can improve my ways.
We are all here in this site for reasons, let us all make our stay here peaceful and meaningful one, to live our lives better and touch others as well.
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