life help: I recently lost the girl that I have had a thing for for years. - Help.com

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my philosophy on relationships is that eventually you come to a fork in the path where you either commit/get married or go separate ways. you can go down the path for a long time before the fork. She may have gotten tired of waiting for the commit part or she may just not want to commit. But you cant farce anyone down one path or the other. Just ask them to join you. Hope that is helpful

Life goes on…It may not seem like much advice but nonetheless it’s true…I remember taking sleep medicine just to go to sleep and escape the thoughts of my ex but sooner or later you realize that when one chapter closes another one always opens. Cherish the lessons you learn in this life and appreciate the people who come into your life. Things will get better. Regardless of what it may seem like. Cherish every breath you take and every moment you are given. dying is a slow process and you don’t have nothin but time. She blessed you with 11 years of her time. appreciate that. If she’s tired and needs space then give it to her. Regardless of how selfish it may seem. Learn to depend on yourself because most of the time all you got is you. What do you do…Don’t try and put it out of your mind…Think it through and through and you’ll find a way to put your mind at ease.

Well someone also told me they need some space and i started to panic. But i talked with my friends and they said it does not mean they are not coming back.

And the person involved promised me that they hope to be back and be refreshed. Did she tell you the same thing?

So sorry you feel you have lost your love…maybe you could keep in touch with her as a friend…it sound as if you have other stuff to deal with and maybe she felt unable to support you…maybe she has her own needs that she did not feel you could cope with on top of your other stuff…it could be a good time to get other bits of your life straight and become a bit more independent??? Eleven years is a long time and hard…i promise it gets better

Males are also hard to understand. It works both ways i think.

Give her space but don’t just leave her alone. Make sure to drop by her some notes or whatever. If you are willing to work things for you and this special lady, make her feel special.

Send her flowers?

Maybe focus on the friendship bit???? sometimes we ask a lot of each other in romantic relationships… friendship can be more understanding as we don t expect so much from a friend…see it as a chance to get your other parts of your life together?????? … you say ‘i pushed her away by being too into the relationship’…we all have different ideas about what a ‘relationship’ is and sometimes the relationship becomes more important than the individuals involved… it has to be the individual we are into as well as the relationship…i say get yourself together and then there won’t be so much pressure on a relationship to compensate for other bits that go wrong…i hope this makes sense!!!!? i wish you well…sometimes it is not the end …just a change and sometimes a change for a reason

Ccampb52 wrote:
I have sent her flowers. I want things to work but I don’t know if they are. I’m dying inside. I really thought she was “the one”

take it slow then. but do not leave entirely.
Did you cheat on her?

Sorry…Just thought that sometimes we have to go slowly though and rekindle the friendship bit first…it is what brought you together to begin with??? Have you ever had any support for what sound like horrific experiences? Do you have any nightmares or flashbacks

Have you had any type of psychological support?… there is only so much anyone can take. it sounds horrendous hard for me to comprehend.

It is hardly surprising you still feel haunted. You are correct in saying ‘mind altering’…such expereinces do have impact on memory and processing as they happen so rapidly the mind cannot compute and store such extreme information… this leaves it scrambled in the mind and hence flash backs and nightmares…hope that does not sound too clinical…I hope you are being treated for PTSD. I feel lost for words but just feel for you as much as i can without ever having experienced such things. The things that people are asked to do…

Please do not give up.

What things do you like to do? Even just a little bit?

:((( i am so sad hearing this from you.

Camp, i know it is tough seeing someone you love going away or dismissing your feelings. No one would love the feeling being left out in the dark. But it would also not help if you are going to stay negative.

I am here, i can talk.

do you have a dog…if not have you ever thought of getting one…sorry if that sounds stupid …i don’t mean it in a trivial way

I am sorry, i could not read long post, i have ADD. Have you mentioned how old you are now?

You are very young. You still can accomplish a lot of things. I read somewhere about your accomplishments. Why do you ever think people get to leave you?

Me? i’ll be 30 this week.

I’m also unhappy camp. It is always up and down thing for me. I made a post about it infact, i just need support.

And i believe it is the same thing you need.

Ccampb52 wrote:
happy early bday.

thank you. you are the first one to greet me.

No Camp, this post is about you, not about me. :) so i would not bore you with my sentiments, we will talk about it some other time.

Well what happened to you?

okay. but is someone taking care of you?

You are dealing with a lot of things now. I cannot help you with anything but i am just here to talk. I am also deaf at times so i don’t hear what other people mean. And blind so i don’t see how people care.

But as long as my heart is intact, i am whole again.

Nice to meet you.
And get some nice clean air outside.
Talk to you soon.

-lilies