life help: My parents hate my husband but me and my parents are really close. - Help.com



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My parents hate my husband but me and my parents are really close.

This makes life really hard. Some times everyone gets along and then some thing might gat said and we are all back to square 1. Spose to be going away next week together as everything was going really well after christmas up till a few weeks ago when it all pear shaped and we booked a traditional holiday which we havent had for a few years now I feel sick with dread and my parents are likely to flip If I try saying anything.
Anybody got any ideas??
Thanks

This open post was written 3 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 142, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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marriage, Christmas, holiday, life, Week, Year, Pear, Tradition, Angst, hate (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (8)

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Tabula Rasa online Verified User (5 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 56 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

ehm tell your parents and not give a **** about what they think becouse you are all grown up now and perfectly capable of making your own decisions, if they are giving you a hard time about your husband then tell them you love him and you don’t think its any of their business.

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Help me with: ‘My mother failed to recognize me’
IDon'tEverQuit offline Verified User (10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
Saint John, NB, CA | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

I totally agree with that. Your parents should accept him because YOU LOVE HIM! Your happiness should matter to them.

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Help me with: I’m really mad at myself.
eagle40 offline Verified User (3 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

Yes is a tough one…you sound a bit afraid of offending your parents??? agree with above comments…may also be tough on husband to feel excluded by dislike???? … marriage is a bond … we grow up and leave home hopefully prepared to make wise choices and secure enough to make new bonds …we give our loyalty out of choice when we marry…how do you get on with his family? How do they feel about your family’s attitude?

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Help me with: I have not been very happy over the last few years, I’m allegedly very good at my job but I feel anxious about it, it is very stressful.
amigilber offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

Do you understand that your folks spesially your mama only wants the best for you.??

He will have to work hard at earning their trust if he’s done something wrong in the past?? Do not judge your parents. Remember you can be 80 and your parents 120 you will always be their “child”

Good luck and try to understand. Love and respect is earned and that goes for trust aswell.
:)

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Tabula Rasa online Verified User (5 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 56 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (47 minutes after post)

dont start with that marriage dosnt have anything to do with the parents we are allowed to marry who we want.

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Help me with: ‘My mother failed to recognize me’
Tabula Rasa online Verified User (5 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 56 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (52 minutes after post)

Dr Awesome McCool wrote:
dont start with that marriage dosnt have anything to do with the parents we are allowed to marry who we want.

that was misjudged… sry if it sound like i was stirring it up, i meant we shouldn’t have to worry what our parents think about our partners, sure we should respect our parents but they should also respect us and the people we love.

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Help me with: ‘My mother failed to recognize me’
eagle40 offline Verified User (3 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (56 minutes after post)

I agree with the Dr A M… respect is all ways… do your parents realise how you feeling? is there rational reason for dislike? Are they having hard time letting you go? would anyone your married be ‘good enough’? and do you think that they have real reason to dislike him?… blimey lots of questions… sorry!

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Help me with: I have not been very happy over the last few years, I’m allegedly very good at my job but I feel anxious about it, it is very stressful.
paradisediv offline Verified User (5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 20 minutes after post)

i can sympathize. Early in my marriage my mother traeted my husband like a second class citizen and it blew up. i had to lay down the law with her. She didn’t have to like my choice, but she did have to treat him with respect and courtesy. Just like we tell our children, if you can’t play nice, you can;t play at all. If you parents can’t be nice and respectful, then you need to make it clear that there are consequences. It hurts to be stuck in the middle, but ask yourself, at the end of the day, do want your parents to come home to, or your husband?

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