life help: I got almost no self-confidence. - Help.com

start talking to people.

manzybabe101 wrote:
start talking to people.

Yeah…beat up your fear…

Tip #1:

Don’t care what other people think. I know you may think “How am I supposed to do that?”. Well the fact is that you can’t change what anybody else thinks. Imagine you are at a public gathering and you have really low self confidence at that point in time. You come home and you feel really bad because you thought you where judged by other people. Your best friend James, thought the same thing when he came home. Judith thought exactly the same thing. The point is, people care more about themselves than they care about you. So inevitably don’t care what other people think of you. You are not put on this planet to please all. It’s OK to fail, it’s OK to be different, it’s OK to do what you feel is right for you!

Tip #2:

Allow being judged. This is something that can be really hard, but guess what. In order to boost self confidence to great heights, you must be able to do things your way and be ok with other people disliking what you do. Again, almost everybody in the world judges people, I judge people for sure. If somebody tells me that I am something negative that I know I am. Let’s say ugly, or fat… I can simply laugh it off and say, “So what, I can’t change my genes and this is the way I am, do you have something else you want to judge me by, please get it off your chest?”. See there is nothing a person can say to you that you can’t counter in one way or another.

Tip #3:

Have really strong beliefs. The two tips above come down to one thing and that is having a strong self belief and solid ground in your confidence. There are many exercises you can take in order to really learn how to gain self confidence. You must get your beliefs in order first, otherwise you will always have a doubt in your mind somewhere. People are experts at destroying their own beliefs by having negative thoughts. STOP negative thoughts now.

Tip #4:

Writing your goals down on paper. People who fail will write their goals down once, look at them, put pen and paper down and then forget about it. People who have learnt how to gain self confidence proceed with their goals and never ever quit. I know this may sound harsh right now, but quitters remain quitters until they believe they can be winners. Be a winner.

Tip #5:

Be a winner. Even if you lose at one point in time be a winner. Even if somebody totally humiliates you, you are a winner. Why? Simply because everybody is a winner. Everybody is good at something. The reason you have low self confidence is because you have been programmed to believe something that isn’t true… at all. Maybe people around you have told you that you are worthless or too stupid to do something. Guess what, you are not, you are a winner. You are a winner because you know that if you set your mind to do something you will obtain this goal. You have done it before, every single time. You just don’t know it.

Tip #6:

Have extreme determination and faith. Know that if you have set your mind to do something you will obtain it. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day. Maybe not in 1 week or even 1 year. Learning how to gain self confidence takes time. Some people get over these negative thoughts and gain amazing self confidence in only 10 days. For some people the programming has taken much harder and it takes them 2 months. Maybe you are so deep into it that it takes 5 years? Even if it takes 5 years, when that day comes and you know when you are there, you will feel that 5 years was worth it.

Tip #7:

Patience. Learning how to gain self confidence is like fishing with a fishing rod, in a way. Let me explain. have you ever tried to fish with a fishing rod and you see something happen. You reel in to see if something happened. You find the fish has broke lose. You get pissed and throw it back in the water. This happens 5-10 times before you catch anything. In the mean time your friend is pulling up the fish every single time and he is laughing of joy. He is patient… he knows that when the fish bites, it takes a little bit of time before the hook is 100% attached. The point here is that, if something doesn’t work for you, throw the rod back in and try again. When you want to give up the most, you know you are the closest!

wow. that was a lot.
but i agree, other people dont matter. so you should do what makes you happy, and talk to people if you want to. dont let your fears hold you back. i got over my fear of the dark by going outside at night. its just how it works. GOOD LUCK!

That was pretty useful. Thank you.

your welcom!

oh, and another thing, if you find that you can’t get the nerve to go and talk to people, you could always talk to more and more people on here and then start talking to people in like real life. you know? idk if that would help?