marriage help: ~Colonoscopy~ - Help.com

~Colonoscopy~

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Colonoscopys’ are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous….. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopys’:

1. “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”

2.”Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3.”Can you hear me NOW?”

4.”Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

5.”You know, in Arkansas , we’re now legally married!”

6.”Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…” < /STRONG>

8.”Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

9.”If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!

10. “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

11.”You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”

12. “God, now I know why I am not gay.”

And the best one of all..

13.”Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”

This open post was written 1 year, 2 months ago | V/U/S: 349, 53, 15 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post ~Shie~ may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ~Shie~ is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 2 months and has 230 posts and 16,832 replies to their name.

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~Shie~ invited 72 users to read this post 1 year, 2 months ago.

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downtowndaisy offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Lmao! Thanks for sharing hehehe :)

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Marylou offline Verified User (2 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (5 minutes after post)

Ewwww…. I just had a 3 cookies. Now I’m feeling slightly nauseaus… :(
But thanks anyways.

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Dan TL offline Verified User (2 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
La Mirada, CA, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (8 minutes after post)

LOL good stuff. I like # 10

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miss_enigma offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (9 minutes after post)

Heeheehee! Good one!

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seas light offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (15 minutes after post)

lo, lol, 10+….

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Neutra online Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 78 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (34 minutes after post)

That was pretty good.

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bluflames83 offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (36 minutes after post)

lq2m…nice..

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Nante offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 29 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (41 minutes after post)

“You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”

Hahahahhahahaha!!!

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seas light offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

lol, lol, that was funny Nante :)

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Snar offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 25 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (2 hours, 10 minutes after post)

*chuckles* i think 12 is the funniest.

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (2 hours, 12 minutes after post)

hahhahahahaaha… number 13 was my favorite.. lmfao….

Snar wrote:
*chuckles* i think 12 is the funniest.

omg snar.. you have a face…. lol

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 159 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 24 minutes after post)

Yuck! If any doctor did that to me, he better send me flowers and give me a kiss first! That’s funny!

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 159 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 27 minutes after post)

That is why i have a tatoo right above my behihd.
It says: exit only! enter at your own risk! serious damage may occur!

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 28 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
That is why I have a tatoo right above my behihd.

It says: EXIT ONLY! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! SERIOUS DAMAGE MAY OCCUR!

hahahahahahaha….. are you for real???? if not.. that is still funny.. lmfao

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 159 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 32 minutes after post)

**** straight I’m for real!

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 34 minutes after post)

hahahahahahahaha… nice……

i have a fairy…. and on one side it says, best.. on the other friends… and my friend and i have the exact same thing.. we made it up together… and on the wings of the fairy it says our names… hehehehehehe… of course, she has blond hair and me brown.. so that is what our fairies have too.. lmfao…

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 34 minutes after post)

let me just say… the tattoo on my lower back hurt sooooooooooooooooooo much worse than the one on my calf… lol..

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 35 minutes after post)

sad thing is… we were friends for 20 plus years.. and now.. we never see each other.. and have grown apart… lol…

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 159 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 35 minutes after post)

Tattoos hurt!

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spiratec9 offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 19 #
Burnaby, BC, CA | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 49 minutes after post)

i think this would be the best one:
“God that feels good”

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (3 hours, 50 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
Tattoos hurt!

my father went with me for my first one.. and he was like.. oh.. the outline hurts but then it goes numb…. all i can say is… bullllllllshit… lmfao…

Devil_on_Earth wrote:
Oh wow, that is hilarious!
Cool about the tattoos for both of you

hehehehehhee..

spiratec9 wrote:
i think this would be the best one:”God that feels good”

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 hours, 27 minutes after post)

Doc… I taste metal… seriously man, I can taste metal…

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 hours, 29 minutes after post)

Coalesce wrote:
Doc… I taste metal… seriously man, I can taste metal…

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….. roflmfao…

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 hours, 39 minutes after post)

So uhhhh… Doc, you got any plans this weekend?

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offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 527 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (7 hours, 16 minutes after post)

:D :D

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (7 hours, 20 minutes after post)

Normally I’d kill you doc, but seeing as I’ve recently been saved… you ready for the other cheek?

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Ditzy offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 40 #
Ventura, CA, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (8 hours, 16 minutes after post)

LOL Lil-bit your the best :) those really made me giggle ^_^

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אָ QaSh אָ offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (8 hours, 36 minutes after post)

lol. Thanx :)

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Barbyman offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (9 hours, 8 minutes after post)

what happens if you suppress a Fart??? It travels up your Spine to the Brain and that is were all the ****** Ideas come from .Nearly as good as yours Shie….

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Mï†z¥-superMODel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Tullahoma, TN, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (15 hours, 18 minutes after post)

Lmao!!

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (17 hours, 39 minutes after post)

Doc… while you’re in there, maybe you can help me with this problem. You see it all started after my frat initiation and… well, you know how those guys can be.

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Anonymous1011 offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 4 minutes after post)

LOL

saw that in a magazine.
thanks for reminding me of it.

awesome humour you give us =]

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 6 minutes after post)

Just terribly depressing that my burst of humorous invention centers around the topic of ‘anal invasion’.

Then again, if you really think about it… that’s all Jonathan Swift did.

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 7 minutes after post)

Coalesce wrote:
So uhhhh… Doc, you got any plans this weekend?

hahahahahahahhahahahahaa

Ditzy wrote:
LOL Lil-bit your the best :) those really made me giggle ^_^

awwww shucks… lol..

-♥fraanonythingsy- wrote:
LOL

saw that in a magazine.
thanks for reminding me of it.

awesome humour you give us =]

hehehehehe….. i love to laugh.. it keeps me sane… lmfao

coalesce, seeing that you are a newer user… if you type just one wrong word.. even if its not bad… they will block your comment… hehehe..

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 9 minutes after post)

That would explain the blocked post… apparently @^@L invasion is a bit of a delicate subject.

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Anonymous1011 offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Shie wrote:
hehehehehe….. i love to laugh.. it keeps me sane… lmfao

lol

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Mï†z¥-superMODel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Tullahoma, TN, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 13 minutes after post)

Coalesce wrote:
That would explain the blocked post… apparently @^@L invasion is a bit of a delicate subject.

HAhah I approved it as quickly as I could! ;)

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (18 hours, 22 minutes after post)

I should name mine, in keeping with the traditions set forth by South Park… I dub mine Barry.

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (20 hours, 53 minutes after post)

Roleplay moleshplay (ooh that sounds more repugnant than I intended)

I just wanna have an adult discussion about the humorous verbalizations that may or may not be associated with invasive proctological exams! :)

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Luck of the Irish offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 24 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (23 hours, 3 minutes after post)

LOL!

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (23 hours, 36 minutes after post)

ahahahahahahahahahahaha..

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

So let’s rate them… scale of 1-10 on a pain scale. 10=excruciating 1=itches.

Birth

Colonoscopy

Passing a stone

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elysium offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 22 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

ROFL!

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Mï†z¥-superMODel offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Help.com Volunteer Moderator Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Tullahoma, TN, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

Birth (10)
Passing a stone (10)
Colonoscopy (no idea lol)

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spiratec9 offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 19 #
Burnaby, BC, CA | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

I love colonoscopy!

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spiratec9 offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 19 #
Burnaby, BC, CA | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

It allows seeing things from a different angle.

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spiratec9 offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 19 #
Burnaby, BC, CA | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day after post)

funny,funny,post shie thanks.

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~Shie~ offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day, 3 hours after post)

Coalesce wrote:
So let’s rate them… scale of 1-10 on a pain scale. 10=excruciating 1=itches.

Birth

Colonoscopy

Passing a stone

actually… being a person who has given birth… and a person who once had a colonoscopy… i would rather give birth… lol..

spiratec9 wrote:
It allows seeing things from a different angle.

hahahahahahahhahaha

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Coalesce offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 31 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (1 day, 5 hours after post)
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