house help: I have a 13 year old son who is verbally mean and cruel to his brothers and sisters. - Help.com

Punish him when he does wrong. Praise him when he does good. Talk to him when he feels sad. Ask him what’s wrong. Is there anything you can do to help

have you asked him why he behaves that way?

ha i have a brother 10 yrs older than ur son and he treats me like crap. he expects everyone to do things his way, if i behave the slightest way towards him as he does to me he behaves as if its unacceptable. he does my head in.

sounds like ur son wants to blame everyone else for his faults. i cant stand ppl like that.

i think you need to see a family psycologist to sort this problem out,
or else your son’s life will be filled with people shunning him due to his disrespect.

Then again….he does just sound like a normal 13 year old boy…

How do you punish him?

Give him a slap round the ear. Never did me any harm.

jodie_lak wrote:
Give him a slap round the ear. Never did me any harm.

At the age of 13 you are in an age where physical disciple doesn’t work as well because the child is old enough to realize you aren’t really going to harm him. He knows he can last longer then you can, unless of course you are talking about abuse. At that age you start to move into an area where your punishments need to be more philological.

Yeah whatever….i did everything my parents said, purely because if i didn’t, id get a slap and no dinner.
I agree, it didn’t harm me. But it still hurt, and i was still hungry. So i learned not to be a gobshite!

I don’t think “philological” is even a word by the way.

If you meant, “psychological” then i’m afraid i strongly disagree.
You mess with a kids head, it will be with him for life.

Kids are a lot tougher physically than they are mentally.

And plus, if the kid can last longer than the parent…..then bad parent. They’re supposed to be in charge.

jodie_lak wrote:
Yeah whatever….i did everything my parents said, purely because if i didn’t, id get a slap and no dinner.
I agree, it didn’t harm me. But it still hurt, and i was still hungry. So i learned not to be a gobshite!

I don’t think “philological” is even a word by the way.

If you meant, “psychological” then i’m afraid i strongly disagree.
You mess with a kids head, it will be with him for life.

Kids are a lot tougher physically than they are mentally.

Not giving you dinner is a psychological punishment, missing one meal hardly does any physical damage, you get a few stomach rumbles. The idea of not getting diner is a lot worse then really not getting dinner.

Hitting you in the head stopped hurting a short time after the incident, unless your parents abused you (which they may have I don’t know you), its hardly an effective means of punishment.

By “last longer” I meant that kids can take the physical punishment at a hire level them the parent can give it (baring abuse). Thats not bad parrenting, thats not wantinig to abuse your child. Your parents could give you a slap, but you could take that slap with out being phased if you where intent to be bad. Slaps work when the child is being stupid or is not being mindful and you need to remind them of it, to snap them out of being childish. But for a child with true disciplinary problems a slap is not going to change their out look on life.

i see your point, but if a child has bad intent, they will still be bad wether you threaten them with a slap or actually do it.
And no i dont feel i was abused, but harsh words stuck with me a lot more than the slaps did.
Like you said, it stopped hurting shortly after. But words can echo in your memory your whole life.

I guess every kid is different.
there may be something underlying thats causing his behaviour….maybe hes being bullied at school or something.

id suggest maybe a sit-down, one-to-one chat might help. Emphasising that you are worried for him, not angry at him.
But make it clear that his behaviour is affecting the family.

i dont know, im not a parent yet!