Florimouse edited this post 1 year, 1 month ago. Read the previous text »
I recenlty moved to college and I am freaking out. I have social anxiety disorder and I just don’t think that I can do this. I feel sick all the time. I have been here since Sunday and all I have had to eat is 2 peanutbutter sandwichs and a pack of raymon noodles. I try to eat, but it jsut makes me feel worse. Their was a hall meeting yesterday where every one had to tell their hall mates their name and major, but when it came to me I could not even breathe. Just when I thought that I was going to pass out they moved on. I go to class but I am not getting anything from it. I have sat down to do home work so many times but it just does not make since to me. Even the simplest stuff looks like latin. I can’t concentrate on anything. I feel like this is jsut a huge waste of money and I don’t know what to do. I am miserable every day. I feel like I am going to pass out every time I step into the hall way.
That must be super hard. This your first year of college?
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)
Thanks for replying.
How far from home are you?
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (9 minutes after post)
No problem, thanks for reading.
i am only about and hour away but this anxiety makes everything so much harder.
I understand. Collge is a whole new thing, everything seems so different from highschool.
I never had to move to college, but it was nervracking for me the first days.
Do you have someone to talk to there?
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (15 minutes after post)
no, i don’t know anyone. i tried to talk to a counselor today but i could not talk. i started crying for no reason and had to leave before i completely lost it.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (20 minutes after post)
My dorm, which did not really help because my roommate was there with her boyfriend. I am so tired of trying to act like everything is fine when i feel like i am going to die most of the time.
What goes thru your mind when you get anxious?
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (24 minutes after post)
I jsut keep telling myself to say something, breathe.
Must be the ramen noodles. Avoid peanut butter (see what it did to Elvis), and try some fruit instead. Donb’t fret. No one knows you. Pretend to be whoever you want to be andeveryone will think that’s who you are. There’s no need to worry. People are not worth worrying about. The simplest stuff is like Latin? Tell me, what subject are you studying? Why are you doing it? Does it interest you? Do you value education?
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (34 minutes after post)
It is not that easy. I know that this is ridiculous and that these people don’t care but part of the fun of social anxiety is knowing that your fear is stupid and not being able to do anything about it.
I am in forest management to go into forestry. I have always loved trees and being in the woods. It is really the only thing that does interest me. I would not have struggled this much to be here if i did not value my education. i know that it is really important and i really want to do it.
Don’t worry. You’ll make friends soon, and that will help you calm down and feel better. Just give it a chance, and if you don’t like it after a couple weeks, try something else. No big deal. Plus, if your roommate is a freshman too she’ll probably break up with her bf soon and you guys can bond over it. Ha. Or maybe try getting drunk– that should relax you and help you meet people :)
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (39 minutes after post)
I have talked to her 2 times. i went through the entire four years of high school without making one friend. i don’t think it is going to change now. I know that i am shooting everythng down, but i have tried everything and nothing works. I am jsut so ready to give up.
I got anxious recently, and had a nervous breakdown (twice in one day). The hardest thing was trying to hide it, trying to be normal. I did my BA a few years ago, and though I didn’t live at the campus or halls of residence, I found the first few weeks nerve-wracking and uncomfortable because it felt as if I always had to perform when I was in the presence of other students. I hate ice breakers and the general social chit chat. I have since done my MA and the good thing was that everyone there was antisocial for the same reason. We felt like deadbeats, disillusioned people, communicating through defeated gestures in the cold London rain. I must say that this sort of atmosphere made it possible for me to concentrate on my subject, Comparative Literature about which I was very passionate. I knew a Japanese student when I did my BA. Not only was she the saddest girl I ever saw, she felt very isolated and depressed and soon disappeared from the course, but I think she left too soon. You should definitely give it a few days. Do you not like your roommates? Is the problem related to the living arrangements, the change in lifestyle or the difficulties you have faced in the course?
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Anonymous wrote:
I jsut keep telling myself to say something, breathe.
I was asking more in the sense of if there was something that triggers it, how do you know you will get an “attack” type question.
Are you in meds?
Don’t give up!
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (45 minutes after post)
thecricke wrote:
I got anxious recently, and had a nervous breakdown (twice in one day). The hardest thing was trying to hide it, trying to be normal. I did my BA a few years ago, and though I didn’t live at the campus or halls of residence, I found the first few weeks nerve-wracking and uncomfortable because it felt as if I always had to perform when I was in the presence of other students. I hate ice breakers and the general social chit chat. I have since done my MA and the good thing was that everyone there was antisocial for the same reason. We felt like deadbeats, disillusioned people, communicating through defeated gestures in the cold London rain. I must say that this sort of atmosphere made it possible for me to concentrate on my subject, Comparative Literature about which I was very passionate. I knew a Japanese student when I did my BA. Not only was she the saddest girl I ever saw, she felt very isolated and depressed and soon disappeared from the course, but I think she left too soon. You should definitely give it a few days. Do you not like your roommates? Is the problem related to the living arrangements, the change in lifestyle or the difficulties you have faced in the course?
My roommate is o.k. but she is not someone that i could ever talk to. the problem is realted to a little of everything. the living situation, money situation, and the work of the course. Even the people in the halls cause me to freak out.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (47 minutes after post)
Joey_PR wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I jsut keep telling myself to say something, breathe.
I was asking more in the sense of if there was something that triggers it, how do you know you will get an “attack” type question.Are you in meds?Don’t give up!
Nothing specific really triggers it. Sometimes it is brought on by having to speak in front of people and sometime it is brought on from just having to walk past someone in the hall. I was on meds for awhile in high school but they did not help. they jsut made me tired and more depressed.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (49 minutes after post)
thanks for listening to my whining. I just needed to get some of this out before i completely imploded.
I totally understand. I had no friends when I was at school. At college my eccentricities meant some people were interested in me, but I’d have preferred to have been alone. It is easy for me to say forget about the social aspect is irrelevant, but ignoring people for however long you will be there would be tough since peolpe always like to make quick judgements. I think in the UK, where I am from, if you have social anxiety, ou are seen as the problem. That is quite contrary to the liberal humanist education that says we must accept all for who they are and we must understand that not everyone is the same. To me, that also means not being judged for opting out of things that we find difficult.
Actually when I did my MA (which I only finished about a week ago), the problem was I always felt a pressure to communicate with people, and if there were people I could talk to, it was the anxiety of always maintaining their interest and to not become boring or unimpressive. Sometimes life is easier without friends. The whole time I did my disseration I was out of work (for five months), without an income and I was extremely anxious and there was no one to talk to, and my research, ironically was Latin!
How about your parents? Have you told them? Do not leave just yet. Do you think you would be happier if you move elsewhere? Away from the environment that is causing you distress?
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (55 minutes after post)
Congrats on the MA.
They know but they don’t really get it. Most of the time it seems like I am getting on their nerves. I think that living on campus is adding to my anxiety, but if I go home I have to do online school and I will not have internet. This feels like my only option and it is not working out for me.
Hmm…
Are you afraid of people? Do you feel someone will laugh at you or hurt you? If you do not mind me being so inquisitive? Is there anything that makes you feel insecure or self-conscious (e.g. weight, braces on teeth, a Che Guevera T-Shirt)?
Are you male or female? If you are male, maybe you feel more anxious because guys cannot understand that you are so shy, or you cannot fit into the moronic guy culture.
You say you sense they feel you are getting on their nerves. Why is this? Do they expect something else? Also, if you are living at the college, or halls, as you say, are you paying? If so, could you not move close to Campus, in a rented room nearby? You should still have access to the internet, right?
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)
Joey_PR wrote:
How do you feel now?
Even talking like this, knowing that you guys know nothing about me, is really making me anxious.
Anonymous wrote:
Joey_PR wrote:
How do you feel now?
Even talking like this, knowing that you guys know nothing about me, is really making me anxious.
Really?
Would you by any chance know why?
thecricke has some key questions I would like to see answered too, (if you don’t mind of course).
Really? Ok so tell us a bit about yourself. What do you reckon we should know before we could advise you? If this makes you nervous, I could understand and leave you with the grace and favour of the Lord (if you are into all that - I am not really!). Read a bit of Joyce, you’d feel better. Ten pages of Ulysses makes you forget about the world!
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)
thecricke wrote:
Hmm…Are you afraid of people? Do you feel someone will laugh at you or hurt you? If you do not mind me being so inquisitive? Is there anything that makes you feel insecure or self-conscious (e.g. weight, braces on teeth, a Che Guevera T-Shirt)?Are you male or female? If you are male, maybe you feel more anxious because guys cannot understand that you are so shy, or you cannot fit into the moronic guy culture.You say you sense they feel you are getting on their nerves. Why is this? Do they expect something else? Also, if you are living at the college, or halls, as you say, are you paying? If so, could you not move close to Campus, in a rented room nearby? You should still have access to the internet, right?
Yes, this is a kind of phobia. I constantly feel like people are harshly judging me even when i know that they aren’t. I feel self-conscious all the time. I don’t remember a time that I felt comfortable in my own skin. I am female.
My parents try, but they just get annoyed sometimes. Sometimes they just want me to stop feeling this way but I don’t think they understand that it is not something that can be helped. I can’t get a place because I don’t have a job or money. At least here I can get loans to help pay for housing.
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)
Joey_PR wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Joey_PR wrote:
How do you feel now?
Even talking like this, knowing that you guys know nothing about me, is really making me anxious.
Really?Would you by any chance know why?thecricke has some key questions I would like to see answered too, (if you don’t mind of course).
I just feel like I am giving you ammo against me even though you could never find me to use it against me and probably never would if you could.
I know it is stupid. I have some real problems.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 11 minutes after post)
thecricke wrote:
Are you in the UK?
No, I am in the U.S.
I would then say that most of your anxiety comes from your high level of insecurity. I am self conscious too at times.
I wouldn’t say “just stop” ’cause we all know it just does not work that way. I understand.
Is there something you don’t like about yourself anon?
How long have you been having these episodes?
How are/were your grades?
Oh…and I would never say that what you feel is stupid, I take it seriously.
BTW,
thanks for replying.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 19 minutes after post)
I don’t really like anything about myself. What is anon?
I started having panic attacks in about the beginning of the 6th grade.
I had straight F’s freshman year because I freaked out when ever I went to class and the rest of the way through high school was A’s and B’s with straight A’s all senior year.
Thanks for taking the time for this. I really appreciate it.
I felt the same, that people were judging me harshly. Seriously, it was so weird. I’d be somewhere, something would happen, or I would say something, and no matter what my intent, people would always assume the opposite. Also, I can see you are anxious, but honestly, I can assure you, no one on this forum will ever harm you. The US eh? I suppose I ;ive way too far to really have an understanding of US dormitory culture (watching The Faculty isn’t going to help I presume?), or the kind of problems people face there. So, from a human perspective, I would say, if it is making you unwell to the point where you have become so upset, speak to a tutor, explain the situation, take a deferral, return home (if that is possible), and try to seek some help. On Medical grounds, most universities/colleges etc allow deferrals on medical grounds. If you intend to stay, is there a place (a park, or public library) where you could spend at least some of your time so you could get out of the atmosphere that makes you nervous? I always spent time out of college, and stayed anonymous, so it helped me get through my MA, but there were tough times, like when I had to do a presentation a couple of times. I smoked so much that day, but I sure won’t recommend that!
A straight A student! Who cares what peolpe think about you, remember you are the most important person, to hel with the rest. Other people are often a waste of time anyway.
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 28 minutes after post)
I am thinking about talking to one of the counselor here about going home. I hope I can without a bunch of fees. I can’t afford it.
I chose this college because it is surrounded by woods and I go around the sides of buildings and sit in the shade of the trees. It is the only thing that seems to calm me. I was just hoping that I could be different in college. I feel constantly torn between the me I am and the me I want to be.
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 33 minutes after post)
Thanks for all the help guys, but I am going to have to get off of here and get to bed. I have an 8 am class and it takes me forever to shut my mind off and go to sleep once I lay down.
Anon = short for ‘Anonymous’
Anonymous wrote:
Thanks for all the help guys, but I am going to have to get off of here and get to bed. I have an 8 am class and it takes me forever to shut my mind off and go to sleep once I lay down.
No problem.
We’ll be around if you need anything we can help you with.
I hope you feel better.
Hmm, Panic attacks are awful, they are uncontrollable and you totally lose your cool. I have had many (so many), and partly becase of the conflict you describe - if you be yourself, people can’t understand, and find you boring. If you be someone else, you have to constantly use your imagination to invent a character you are not. This way you deceive yourself, and feel like a phony. I have been in situations where I needed to get on with people I loathed, and I felt very nervous around them because I was quite different. Do you feel like this? You say you like the woods, and I am pleased some of the environment calms you. Did you start your course recently? If you could tell them about your anxiety and the unlikelihood of you bing able to finish the year, they should not charge you any money. In fact, speak to the registry/fees department (or email them if you find speaking to them too stressful), and see what they say. they may refund you any fees you have paid, and let you defer your place until next year. also, do the people in youe class make you feel intimidated? I felt quite anxious around people who always seem to find things to talk about and cime aross as being interesting to each other and engage in social banter that I could not forge out of my skull.
For what it’s worth, you sound seriously cool!!
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BTW,
You have good things going for you. I was going to start to get into that, but maybe next time.
Take care!
Goodnite, good luck, and remember everything in life is an illusion, no point in getting worried about things we give undue meaning. Read Musil, you’d see. Take care.
thecricket
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I just moved to college too and I also went through the whole “State your name and major” thing. Relax, everything will be good. As far as just college and meeting people here, I guess I’ve been doing fine. Everything else in my life has crashed and is up in flames.
Get out there, meet people, and forget the social anxiety. You’ll be good, trust me.
I had a hard time adjusting to college too. I found a park near my university and when being around so many people just got to be too much I’d go there.
oops, didn’t notice that that’s kind of what you’ve been doing. Have you tried taking a lunch with you outside? Picnicking is fun and might distract you enough to be able to get some food down. You need to eat (and probably sleep) more. Your body can’t handle stress without proper nutrition and rest. Do you have an advisor you could talk to?
Yo, anonymous, what’s happening?
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Did you leave collge? Have you settled down a little?
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Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 21 hours after post)
Still here. Not happy, but still here.
Joey_PR
thecricke
shohsoquie
RandomxGirl08
Doctor Hu :)