Feel help: i feel like i cant go on anymore, i want to cut myself up, if - Help.com

no the pain inside will get worst because more pain will be added to that pain the pain of wanting to hurt yourself more and more and the pain of regretting it.

I used to cut, you think that the pain inside can be measured by causeing more pain on the outside, it may work but after you feel worse, it really is not worth putting scars on your body for as it will lead to guilt later.
Try talking about what is makeing you hurt so much, maybe write it down, express it in some form other than hurting yourself.

but i’m angry and its with myself, so i want to hurt myself as much as possible

why are you so angry

Anonymous wrote:
but i’m angry and its with myself, so i want to hurt myself as much as possible

But you will just be angry at yourself later for doing it.
Why are you angry at yourself?

i felt angry towards myself too wanted to cut myself as hard as i could to cause myself as much pain as i could to punish myself but the weight of all that just gets bigger and bigger till finally you break down from all the pressure and cant take it anymore you think your in a ton of emotional pain now just wait till your wrapped up in the addiction and when you try to stop its the hardest thing ever.

i’m angry because i’m useless, i feel i cant do anything right, and the only person to blame is myself

Cutting is only a temporary solution, you should talk to some one, first someone you trust, and then someone who is a professional. I promise now cutting yourself will just lead to more self destructive behavior and if things get too bad, you’ll have so much more trouble trying to overcome it.

Cutting is no better than drugs or alcohol to alleviate pain. If you want the pain to go away you have to address the root cause of it and deal with it. Covering it up or causing yourself more physical pain is NOT the answer you are trying to achieve.

How old are you, btw?

but what if it doesnt matter how much you talk to someone, you can never get any better, i’m 32, i’ve given life a good go, but i’, fed up with living in a world i dont understand, its too hard to keep fighting these angry thoughts every time something goes wrong

Wow. 32. I would have thought you were a lot younger.
If it’s angry thoughts that are causing the pain, then thats what you need to deal with. I didn’t way you had to deal with them alone. How long have you been having these ‘thoughts’? And what is your current family situation? Married? Kids? Job? Do you also have medical insurance?

thats the problem i’m not as old in my head and the way i deal with things as my age, thats the easiest way i can explain why i feel like this, i’ve had a parner who died, i have 2 children from that relationship, i have a good high paid job, but i’m off sick at the moment because everything is getting to me

Your children, they still live at home with you?

yeah they do, they are only 11,

Okay. You will need to tell your employer that you need to take a medical leave. You don’t have to tell them exactly why but you will need to give them proof at some time. Second. Find someone that will take care of your children. Nothing permanent, but probably a couple of weeks or so. After you have done those two things, check yourself into a hospital. Tell them what you have told us. You are going through severe depression along with anxiety attacks. Ask them to check you in until you can be seen by a qualified doctor; not the one assigned to the ER at the time. He/she should put on some strong medication but will want to monitor the effects of those drugs for at least a week to ten days. He/she will also offer you counseling. Take it!. Fairly quickly your life should be a ble to return back to “normal” and you can start taking care of your children as well as yourself.

Are you religious? You may want to tell your Priest/Pastor but ask them to keep the facts just to themselves. You could use some help from above and that only comes through prayer.

i am off for medical reasons, to try to getover this bad patch, but to be honest i dont think i will be returning to work any time soon, if at all to that job. this is my normal life, these are the ups and downs that i will always have to deal with,

You owe it to your children to seek help. What kind of message are you sending them if they find themselves in a tough situation? “I’ll just give up, just like Dad…” You really don’t want that, do you?

i’m female, but that dont really matter, and know i dont want that, but i’ve messed their life up already

Sorry about that. Why do you say that you’ve messed their life up already? Are they cutting too??

no, but one of them has a kind of disability, thats was hereditary, and its so hard to deal with, i just get so frusrated with struggling through life i guess

My son is handicapped too, so I understand where you are coming from. But keep in mind the responses you giving are clouded by your depression. You do want help, don’t you? You would like the pain to stop and not just temporarily, right? You need to get help. Theres no ifs ands or buts. If our 11 year olds could check you into a hospital they probably would have by now. You are the only adult and parent in the house. Sad but true. Think like a loving mom. Do what is best so you can see your children grow up. Thye will make you proud of them, but you have to give them that chance. Resolving to stay in the state you are in is no solution.

Correction: ‘If YOUR 11 year olds….’

i have got some help with dealing with every day life, but thats during the week, so maybe i will need to make that phone call first thing monday morning

How about today? Do it for yourself. Do it for your children. Christ, do it for me! Please?

its 10pm on a saturday, they wont do anything because i already have a support worker

Okay. Monday then. But I want you to promise two things. You will do everything within your power to get healthy and stay healthy so you can see your children grow up. Second, you will come back here from time to time to help others that might be going through what you are right now. You will have the wisdom and the strength to help them unlike others here. You are unique and special. Stay that way. *hugs*

i’m here all the time, usually in chat, but i do help on posts where i can, and i do want to see my children grow up, i just get so angry and upset, see there goes the tears again, i’m such a mess at the moment, yet i can’t tell the friends i’ve made here and ask for their help, how stupid is that

It’s nice to finally put a name to a post, Lucy. I’m glad to call you my friend.