Person help: This is niggling me so much.

bitupset

This is niggling me so much.

This happens to me all the time. I say something to somebody who I don’t know that well, and looking back I wonder if they misunderstood me, or if I insulted them by mistake, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Last week I made some comment about a person’s age, and it wasn’t meant in a nasty way, but I think one of the staff at the place where I work may have taken it as if I was saying she was old.
She didn’t say anything, but she’s being a bit cool with me.

It was only a little comment, but it’s bugging me. I don’t want to look stupid and paranoid by asking ‘did I insult you when I said…’ because I don’t know her that well, and it was last week, and if I was going to say something I should have said it by now. (And she is actually a lot older than me. And I’m new in my job.) But I’m worried she hates me.

Does anybody else get these ‘to say something or not to say something’ dilemmas? It happens to me all the time. I am worrying myself over this, please please will somebody answer and give me some advice or reassurance? I feel really stupid, and am afraid she’ll turn people at work against me, whatever I say.

This open post was written 1 year, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 118, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post bitupset may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. bitupset is not a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 5 months and has 1 posts and 0 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Week, Person, Bit, Paranoia, Covert listening device, Stupidity, Insult, place, Answer, older (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

bitupset #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (2 minutes after post)

even though my red dot says I’m offline, I’m here!!

This account has been deactivated.

Wannabe. 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (6 minutes after post)

I only skimmed over your message but have you apolagized or said you were sorry if you hurt her feelings?
But in the future: Think before you speak!

Help me with: I’ve written a letter, asking a firm for work experience, does it sound okay?

Bogdan (Gone) 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I often put my foot in it. Once, I publicly apologised and the guy laughed at me. Look at the situation, the context, etc.

If you will say something, say it early or leave it and if it comes up again, explain yourself.

Help me with: Ranty Poetic Nonsense

closed 53 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (11 minutes after post)

I think if she continues to be cool towards you, ask her if you’ve done something to offend her. If she tells you, then make an effort to fix it.

Like you said, you’re new there, and it’s important you’re accepted.

(1)

Bogdan (Gone) 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (12 minutes after post)

cailean wrote:
I think if she continues to be cool towards you, ask her if you’ve done something to offend her. If she tells you, then make an effort to fix it.

Like you said, you’re new there, and it’s important you’re accepted.

That would be best in the situtation

Help me with: Ranty Poetic Nonsense

~LazyDaze~ 64 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

I say the wrong things ALL the time, I don’t think there is a time where I have not put my foot in it somehow, you learn to live with it but I know what you mean by annoying and more so when the other person doesn’t tell you that they were offended.
I can’t stand people like that, who just get offended and say nothing to you but then either ignore you are tell everyone else about how offended they were.
I never mean to say anything to hurt anyone else but sometimes what I say will hurt even if I had no intention of that, I would rather be told so I can explain what I meant and sort it but not everyone works that way.
If you think she was offended then ask her.

Help me with: I think we need a repeat ;)

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Person help: This is niggling me so much. - Help.com

This is niggling me so much.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (10)

Replies (6)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage