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Are good grades everything?
Because, if I don’t get good grades then my parents become ashamed of me.
I don’t think I can take it anymore. Since Pre-School (I kid you not) my parents have been constantly pressuring me to get straight 100% A’s.
I don’t have many friends, mostly because my homework and text books have become my friends.
I try to be outgoing and friendly, but it always ends up being awkward and I feel as if I have some sort of busywork to do.
The worst part about it is my parents force me to take “College Prepretory Classes”, better known as summer school, during my summer vacation.
If grades and test scores and pieces of paper are what define you’re life and future, then I don’t think I can take it anymore. I just want a break.
I tried to talk to my parents about it, but NO! They would have none of that. I can appreciate that they want me to go to Harvard or MIT or some overpriced college, but if this is what it takes then I don’t want to.
For those of you wondering, yes my parents are the typical Asian overworking kind.
I know they mean well, but it’s too much for me!
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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grades aren’t everything, and your parents should be clever enough to know that.
otherwise they aren’t clever at all.
are you by any chance south asian? (pakistani/indian/bangladeshi/srilankan)
Well it is your life, not theirs. Easier said than done. I used to be like that do with grades and it was terrible, so I understand where you are coming from. Eventually you will be out on your own, going to college or what have you..so freedom is in the future friend. Good grades are not everything and your parents may not talk your words seriously, cause theu really do think it is best for you, but you are going to have to confront them about it… and if they still don’t listen, them you have to show it with action and take control of your own life. Your life, not theirs. I say study hard and try your best in your academics, but do not destroy yourself over all… it does not buy happiness. They may have a straight A child who went to the best college and graduated top of the class… but that same kid is going to be stressed in all the other areas of their life because of the pressure of being the best in school. Your relationship with your parents will not be what you want it to be, until they realize your how this is affecting you.. and that in turn can become something very ugly and can cause more problems than they probably realize in the long run.
Basically you need to get through their heads and let them know; i know you have tried, but there will come a time when you will be on your own…one of two things will happen… you will feel guilty about not being the best, or two you will resent them for making you feel that way. And that my friend, is hard baggage to let go of. So better to get it over and done with now..before it gets worse and follows you through your life.
theres nothing worse than being pressurised into doing something you dont want to do!
your parents might have your best interests to heart,but you should also be allowed to have a life
this is where rebellion stems from!!!
Do it concentrate on homework and Textbooks .Your Parents are good People hardworking and want to see you there Future getting somewhere in Life.Its only a few Years .After that the World is your Oyster.Don’t Rebel Life is What you put into it. I know i am 67 and still working and learning.May the Forces help you on your Journey…
Good grades do open more doors that hold better opportunities for your future.
To anon: My mom was from Eastern India, I think New Dehli.
I want to rebel against them and tell them how I really feel inside, but then they’ll become disappointed.
And I feel as if I’ve been trained to not rebel, to not question their judgement.
I asked because I’ve noticed that people from that part of the world are really result and image oriented.
I guess I’m kinda awkward because I haven’t been “taught” how, so to speak.
My parents almost never allowed me to hang out with my friends, or in this case the few I had. They would give me some chores or some extra work if I got my homework done which never left me with some relaxation time to let go of my excess stress.
Because of this I never really developed good people-skills or EQ as you say.
I just do what I’m told, and this makes me feel like a dumb robot just doing pointless calculations and academic tasks.
Even when we’re told to express our opinions in class I just come up with something so I can get a good grade. And that’s all it’s about, right? Good grades.
your a person lv,with feelings opinions& a life like the rest of us
dont be an automaton.
i dont think they are i just messed about at school i mean i got grades but nothing that is a true reflection on my ability im from the uk so i left school at 16 since then i have worked in a care home for the elderly i mean i love it but its back braking work i have a bad back im only 23. anyway i have my nvq2 im now doing my nvq3 after that im gonna go to uni to study to be a nurse. so no i dont think good grades are everything but then im gonna 27 28 by the time i get to where i wanna be so kids best to knuckle down at school
Thanks to all that that responded, especially 2edeeze.
It seems that I’m quite articulate on paper, when I have the luxury of free thought, however whenever I have to express myself in school or with my parents I just do as I’ve been trained to and recite from my text books.
In fact, I think the only thing I know now are text books.
If you’re wondering, I just started my Sophomore year, and wanted to get out and enjoy life. I tried joining some clubs, so I could hopefully make some new friends , but my parents just keep telling me it’s a waste of time and that all I need are my books and studies.
Extracurriculars such as clubs are an awesome way for you to branch out and get to know people and will do nothing but help your applications. Schools value those kinds of things higher than most people think. Yes, every school wants intelligent, hard-working students, but they also want interactive, well-rounded students who are able to communicate well with others and have an interest in other things. College is much more than just books, and networking is one of the most valuable tools you can have in life.
i have the same kind of parents -_- dammit it sucks
my parents are the same way. i know i cant change them. but my sister was valedictorian and got a full scholarship to her university and now my parents expect me to follow in her footsteps. I actually have a 80 in my honors geometry class ( im a high school freshman) and i know that my parents are going to flip. I’ve learned that theres nothing i can do to change them. asians are hard to persuade. =)
i was just like you in school but when i got to high school i didnt care about anything so i started getting bad grades at first my parents where shocked and know im in college and im failling so my parents got used to my bad grades and they told me that they only want me to just pass my cources not get A’s all the time
I am going to tell you this from experience. I had the same problem you did, my parents always want me to get 90s and want me to go to Harvard and become a doctor or engineer, yea my parents are indian too. So, grades are important but they are not everything. Far from it. Numbers don’t define who you are, and if your parents do want you to become like an engineer or a doctor and you do it, then you would just be throwing your life away, you should follow a life that you are very passionate towards. If people can see your passion and dedication then they will put you into consideration, but if they just see that you get 100% in everything, they will be impressed but it’s nothing that special, they want to see something different, something unique. I have indian parents so I know the amount of pressure they put into you and I know that they are thinking in your best interest and they want yoou to become rich and not have to suffer as much, that is what I respect so much about indian parents BUT you need to understand that money is NOT everything, the reason why your parents don’t want you to become like a poet or a philosopher or a historian (all of which I want to become) is because they know that if you do become such you will not be as wealthy and successful as your other indian friends. Reading off a textbook is good but it just makes you narrow-minded and uncreative, you should be the one who makes ideas not reads them. The best thing to do is to just tell your parents what you have a lot of passion in and if they truly love you which they most likely do, they will understand (hopefully). I hope I helped, in the end its your choice, just remember that your parents are doing all this for your own good.
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