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Have you spoken to a marriage counselor and about the fact that “mama’s boy” needs to cut the apron strings and finally become a man and face the fact that he has his own family to worry about?

A lot of men say “I only have one mama but I can have many wives and many children.” But that is not true. Their first family is their only true family and that is you and your children. If he loses you he will lose himself and will always feel empty inside no matter how many other women and how many other children he makes. You need to drag him to counseling and bring out his self steem issues that he may be having. Some men cannot face the fact that they are poor providers and he might be seeing you as his competitor to provide for your family. Have you ever done anything to make him feel like he is not needed in your family? Other than the fact that you moved to Washington and are able to provide for the four of you?

Hi,

Your child is just normal to hope for the family to be together….be happy for that. What you can do is pray hard…..and trust God to work in your life….Read the Bible!

Earnest conversation is my only advice - I’d assume you are not asking him to choose between you and his mom, so perhaps if he sees that he can have a good family relationship with *both* of you, you two can have a clearer line of communication.

I think I responded to your message…..but maybe repeating what I’ve said: “Commit yourself unto the Lord…….trust Him….!

Then, maybe it’s time to let him go! If he is so hung up on just belittling you and making you feel like a second banana to his mom, you should really consider the alternative. Don’t do it because of you or him, your children should be paramount in this whole fiasco! It is sad sometimes but that is the only alternative that some people leave us.

If that is your decision…..that will be fine. Just don’t forget to entrust your life and your kids to God!

I understand the situation that you’re in right now, my only advice would be for you to choose where your kids will have a better life.You are the one who provides for the 4 of you and I guess living with him will do you no good, emotionally and financially. You can talk to your kids and let them understand that you can still be a family by not living together, explain to them that both of you are working hard and you have to do it separately in order to provide what’s best for them.That way,you’re not making him a villain in the eyes of your children. I know YoU can do it. Entrusts everything to the Lord, He will give you the direction to take.

Why couldn’t he find a job in 5 years? Instead of putting you down, he should be very proud he has a competitive wife who he can rely upon. Many women are just taking advantage of their husbands by not working and spending like crazy. What can you do you ask? You had done everything you could. You went way beyond your capabilities and you were and are not appreciated. No matter what would you do, there won’t be anything your husband would praise you for. The fact he brings up his mom and compares you to her shows a very low self-esteem and a manipulative behaviour. He really wants to hurt you. You should not tolerate it any longer. If he doesn’t have a clue of your values and can’t see what a wonderful person you are, it is his loss. For your children’s sake, end it. YOu will be able to provide for your children a stable home. Right now they are suffering. The longer you postpone your divorce, the more difficult it will be for your children. When you divorced, their father will have visitation rights and he must provide for them too. He would be forced to find a job not just fooling around with the idea.

If you are about to use the Bible, then beat him up with it!
Because the Bible will not help in this situation.
Do you have any common friend who he listens to?
If your picture of the situation is right, I fear that you will have to leave him if he does not break off with his mother.

Experiences tell that men are not likely to change from these stuff - his mother will keep controlling him until she dies.

By the way, if you leave him “that will prove that he was right” in trusting his mother before you. At least he will think and say so, because he will deny having any guilt. He will just be a victim…

So you will have to be prepared for that.

In the meantime you will have to become tougher and harder towards him. Call his mother and tell her to back the he** off! And when he complains about that, tell him to make a choice or back off! If he does not work, let him have the food ready for you when you come home. Treat him like the bullies treat their wives!

If you feel you can no longer endure being with him…..and it’s like hell being with him……..then decide to leave him. But remember if you are legally married with that guy….remember your commitment…..your marriage vow….for richer…for poorer….till death do you part…..