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Reya edited this post 1 year, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
My parents fight 24 hrs a day, when ever they can Its frustrating , depressing, its hard to be my self when I’m like this. I’m not my self. I can’t find any solution to this. I feel like I have no one to go to, talk to. It dosen’t help. I need to go to a good college so I could get away from this piece of **** life they force me to live in. I need to get away from this and focus on my life, but how? I started smoking and I don’t wanna turn out like a druge my brother use to be.i don’t know what to do …please any help??
Fist stop smoking. It may make you feel good now, but you will become and addict in the future. The sooner you stop the better.
Second you need to move out, if you don’t have a way then you need to find one. Get a job, something that can help pay for stuff like a place to stay and help pay for some of the stuff you have to pay for in college.
Third you have to start making a plan for what you want to do. When you make goals for your college career, make several goals, just in case one fails you have another one in reserve, and make several ways for each goal, so if there is something that you want to do and if one way fails, try doing it another way and direction.
And while your at the college and still need money, you can still work after classes or just get a job on campus.
It takes work and alot of committement, but in the end college will be very rewarding and will help you be in a better position, one where you won’t have to worry too much about your parents.
First of all, it is good that you are not suicidal.
Your parents’ situation don’t have anything to do with you. They have their own struggles too. When you get older, you would understand but i of course know how it affects you. But what can you actually do when you cannot get in the middle of their fight?
I would like to suggest… be a good person that you should be. As early as now, invest for your future. Concentrate on your studies and be active with school orgs and stuff. Surround yourself with good friends. This would make you stay away from bad influences.
Your parents’ fighting might be of great effect to you…but don’t let it be. You are your own person. And you will be able to reach your goal, as long as you want to.
Take care.
-lilies
I know all too well that envirorment. Not good that’s for sure. Go to your room with a headset and crank it up. Worked for me. You’ll be alot happier out on your own.All their fighting is teaching you one valuable lesson…. Never to do the same thing. A shame some parents never consider the effects their imposing on their children. Makes you grow up fast, and learn what not to do :)Good luck to you!
I sorry to hear your parents are acting like bad kids:( What wil happen will happen and it’s tough on you. The don’t smoke thing is important! Can you hang with the grandparents? Hopefuuly they’ll get some conselling.
http://www.drphil.com/
Hang in there, this will pass:)
Anonymous
#
1 year, 2 months ago (4 hours, 59 minutes after post)
If they are fighting 24 hours a day then obviously they are not sleeping. Sleep deprivation can lead to erratic behavior which is what seems to be happening. My advice is that you should quit smoking and your parent should start.
I’m only 15 ,a junior in high school. I wish I had the ability to stay some where else. I don’t have any close family in the US. My only brother is on the other side of the world, getting his life fixed, and I’m very proud that. I feel like a part of me is missing because hes not here. I also dislike telling him about the parents, i don’t want him getting upset over this. I’m like the older more responsible sibling mentally and i do take care of him. I am very mature for my age and that’s the part I’m proud of. Being mature, I see the world in a different way, a better way and that helps me separating good from bad. And my brothers experience also helped me learn not to make the same mistake, but I need a parent or guardian who helps me to survive through the day. Helps me with little stupid problem. My parents are making me missing out on my teen days. And they don’t realize what they are doing for me although I tell them, they rather fight.
I live in a one bedroom apt which makes it harder for me to ignore them. I don’t know, they talk about getting a divorce but they been talking bout it for a long time. I think its better if they do, but im so scared.
A job would be perfect for me to ignore this and focus on me. Any suggestion on where to work?
Thank you guys for all the advice,it feels good to share this.
You actually do have a job, and it is an important one. You are a student who is on the college-bound track. That is a very demanding job, if you are concentrating on it. There are so many things you need to do to prepare yourself for college, I don’t know where to start with the list. A visit to the guidance counselor at your school is the first step. That is where you will find out what clubs, and organizations you might join in order to make yourself more likely to be selected by the college of your choice. There are scholarships to research. That is just for starters. Your parents are having problems that you can’t help with. The less time you spend around them right now, the better off you will be. Try concentrating on your future, even though it may be difficult with all that is going on at home. If you need adult support, you can come here any time and a helper is sure to be around to listen. If you need peer support, there are many your age who contribute here, as well.
I’m really glad you come here to share anything. You don’t need to deal with this alone.
I believe you are still studying? Hmmm, i would suggest becoming a full time student rather than getting a job. OR you can go to your school’s office and ask for any work they can offer you…in my place, some students work in school like library assistants and stuff. Just make sure it fits your schedule.
I’m still studying. I want to get a part time job, like in the weekends, when I’m stuck home with my father. It’s a mental torture. He stopped paying for me, like little daily stuff, he tells me to ask my mom and she tells me how she earns less and to go to him and back and forth. He also told me to get a job. I really think he is bipolar, hes happy and then angry the next second. it’s very hard to deal with this, it’s worse than having parents. I told them to get a divorce, as hard for me to say this ,i think its the best way for them and me. They both refuse to get one, “its too much work” my dad tells me. I don’t know what the **** they want. I don’t know how i will survive these 2 years, I tell my self I will but I keep breaking down really bad and feel lonely. I don’t like this, I’m so confused , who am i suppose to believe, trust, when i can’t even depend on my parents and they tell me all the wrong things. I’m working on my SAT ,it’s so hard to concentrate with any studies.
I think you have to stay focused on your own business and try to let them deal with their relationship problems. I know that you would like their situation to be resolved and you want to help with that, but no one really knows what is going on between a man and a woman, even their children. Relationships are complicated and most parents prefer to keep some aspects of their relationship private.
You will survive the confusion because you have important business of your own. Can you spend more time at school, and less time at home? When I was your age, I chose to take childcare jobs in my neighborhood because once the children were asleep, I could study in peace. My parents fought constantly and it upset me, too. The childcare jobs gave me spending money, which I needed and got me out of my crasy home for a few hours.
lol i wish they did that, kept it private, but they tell everyone. Specially my dad, he feeds **** about my mom to practically strangers. I recently took a tutoring job, starting today, i tutor a 2nd grader.
My neighborhood is bad, full of bad people, I’m kinda scared to go out if its a little late. I think there is a project in my neighborhood. We were suppose to move but my dad doesn’t really care enough to do that any more. I’m joining few clubs after school to keep me busy and the National honor society. There is another problem, my average is not matching up for NHS, and i’m trying to raise my grades so i could get in but with all this im becoming more lazy and too laid back.
thanks for the reply and i actually am tiring to put them aside and focus on my self but why does everything relate back to them ?
You are going to be fine. I can tell by the way you have set yourself up to succeed. Your work with the 2nd grader will be enjoyable and rewarding. What better work could there be for a smart student like you? Perhaps you can arrange to spend some extra non-paid hours where you are doing the tutoring. That might be the best place for you to study. You would be providing a good example for the young student while you are raising your grades. Remember, you are on your way to becoming an adult and you will build a life away from your parents. You will have your own family someday. Dream big dreams and work toward them. If you concentrate on your future, the present will be easier to deal with.
Everybody needs a quite place and I’m glad you’re here. It does get better and I’m sooooo proud of your strength:) There is nothing wrong with telling somebody that your head is full and you are on mental vacation from drama until your sat’s are done. Maybe you can keep us up to date on your grades:)
thank you :)
My grades are a little lame this marking period. I did have a lot going on , i joined a few clubs after school i and hang out with few friends after school to keep my self busy. The packs of hw just adds on to the day. Although there is so much drama and things going on, im still fight it.
You are welcome, of course. Please do come back to post your feelings any time you wish.
We sound very similar… Our situations are kind of similar also. I hope if you need to talk to anybody, you will. Don’t shut down. I have. Its worse…
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