man help: i’ve written a poem, can you give me your opinion on it?

bell

i’ve written a poem, can you give me your opinion on it?

your honest opinion! :)

Ever tomorrow, ever delayed;
That ill-aspiring shaft of light,
That unattainable perfection.
And still I reach, still strive to gleam
A glimpse of it, sun-bright, dew-fresh

I grab ahold, I am there, I am home;
Then broken-winged I fall, plummet back
To what should not be my reality.
A no-man’s land, where shattered
I stumble, exist

Numb and alone, I try to escape;
Failure wounds, aftermath drowns;
And back into the vicious cycle tossed.
I am in the dark.

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 125, 13, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post bell may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. bell is not a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 2 posts and 23 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

poetry, sun, Perfection, light, writing, man, Reality, broken, Wing, Ahold (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (13)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

HelpBot 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (0 minutes after post)

Are you looking for information on uploading an avatar or why you aren’t recieving notices on tags you’re subscribed too?

Unfortunately both of these features have been disabled until further notice. Looks like you’ll have to stick with your “letter of the alphabet” avatar. You can also Contact us with any other issues you have.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

This reply has been removed.

bell #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (4 minutes after post)

i wasnt trying to… never mind, i just wanted to share it. dont read it if you dont want, jesus

This account has been deactivated.

Mrew 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (5 minutes after post)

i really like it =D good job ********** ( 10 stars)

Help me with: Is there any preforming art high schools in Areas around Orlando and fort Myers, particularly for musicians?

This reply has been removed.

bell #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)

i am sharing it, obviously, or else i wouldnt have posted it on this website, and i wanted to know if other people, people who didnt know me and werent biased, thought it was halfway decent… sorry if i sound like an idiot.

thank you for your opinion.

This account has been deactivated.

This reply has been removed.

bell #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (8 minutes after post)

well thank you then

This account has been deactivated.

This reply has been removed.

bell #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (13 minutes after post)

okay smartypants
i have the feeling your a bit older than me/have a better… whatsit. blah
i seek assurance for all things i do. before i buy a dress. for my hair. for my paintings. for my stories, my essays
i need another’s opinion to strengthen my resolution
and if they disagree i get pretty pissed off
ps i think i like you. your poem made me laugh. even though it sort of sucked

This account has been deactivated.

This reply has been removed.

seah1 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (11 hours, 47 minutes after post)

Your poem has a message… a sad message….but a poet is just like that….expressing the real feelings of a good poet. I just noticed it just lacks a little bit of something….I can’t just remember the word. Just a little bit.

Help me with: To fall in love and fall out love is not a good thing.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

man help: i’ve written a poem, can you give me your opinion on it? - Help.com

i’ve written a poem, can you give me your opinion on it?

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (10)

Replies (13)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage