friends help: Right now I live with my ex boyfriend, we share an apartment with 2 other people and share a room, we were together for 6 years. - Help.com



This post left anonymously

Right now I live with my ex boyfriend, we share an apartment with 2 other people and share a room, we were together for 6 years.

It was more outside factors to our break up then the relationship. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want him back at some point in my life, but right now its to much to handle. He doesn’t want to move out or for me to move out, I just do not know what this all means. He is my best friend and I am not sure how I would handle losing him. On the other hand I don’t know how long I an let this go n for. I just feel like we are stuck and I don’t know what I can do to make this any better. Please help!!!

This open post was written 4 years, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 1,811, 7, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (10)

Replies (7)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

barbyman offline Verified User (5 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (1 minute after post)

move out and look for your own little place…

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
IrAdler offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (2 minutes after post)

If you could be more specific on “too much to handle” and outside causes for your breakup. What happened?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: .
j.g.heime offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (6 minutes after post)

Well he dose not have a “real” job and of course he feels like crap, and hates that I have to pick up the slack. I really understand because I have been there.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
IrAdler offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (13 minutes after post)

When men have no job, they feel super terrible, they think they don’t deserve love, happiness, someone to take care of them because they feel ashamed of themselves for not working. Their man ego is hurt and diminishes everything that describes them as man. Don’t ask me why, and I know for a fact that the majority of them are like this. They can’t handle the fact if a woman supports them and it is not a macho issue, it is much deeper. Naturally, your boyfriend feels the same way. He is a persona non grata right now. He needs lots of reassurance, understanding and nurturing for him to feel validated. Don’t push it to become his girlfriend again but be his best friend as you are still. Though he does not tell you because of his pride, he still needs you and deep down he feels the same way as you do, he wants you again when he is working again. I know you would understand it, so just hang in there, be supportive, understanding and time and luck will heal your wounds.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: .
j.g.heime offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (16 minutes after post)

Thank you… but I am a man also but I get what you are saying I am just not sure if its really over or worth holding on to.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
IrAdler offline Verified User (4 years, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 years, 7 months ago (21 minutes after post)

No, it is not over. Since you are a man too and said “been there” you know exactly what I tried to say. His ego is hurt because he is not working and can’t feel he is contributing anything. He probably is a very sensitive person. If it were over, he would have told you that but instead he is holding on to you by not wanting you to move out. He still needs you and your friendship. Stay best friends for now and just support his emotional needs at this point.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: .
mcgregorj offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (1 year, 7 months after post)

If he is chatting online or meeting people, then he is a manipulator and just want’s a quick break to see what is out there just incase he can find something better. He knows that no one will match up too you, but there is still the chance that there is someone. 1 out of 300 people in the world has the exact same personality that you have, or so I am told by my ethics ex whom I also live with. You already know in your heart if it is truly over and you should move out. If he is not seeing and or meeting anyone, then it is not over. I was jobless for three months starting this year, I was in suck a wreck. I would lounge around, search for jobs, decline after the other my self worth just crashed. When a man is down, it is NOT attractive. My ex moved on. Now, I am back on my feet and still living with my ex. I love him as a friend, however due to his online dealings, not as a person is whole. I understand the tricky dilemma you may be going through. If he is not meeting and chatting online, then you have nothing to worry about. It is just one of those bumps in the road. Just do not forget who you are. Live each day for yourself and forget about caring for him for the time being. Focus on you. When I say this, that does not mean your work and school, but also saving for retirement, having an emergency financial account, paying your bills down, volunteering…there is so much more to taking care of yourself. If you do not have these things, then you should not be worrying about your ex. My ex is my best friends, truly, however, the ex factor can get tricky.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.