Love help: When me and my boyfriend started dating, we were friends before.

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When me and my boyfriend started dating, we were friends before.

When we were friends, he used to come to me and say he had a problem with drugs, and i would always talk to him about it and help him out.
He knows how strongly i feel against drugs, so when we started going out he quit. Mainly the stronger drugs, but he still did weed on rare occasions which i was ok with. He also said he was going to quit smoking.

6 months down the line, one of his best mates comes back from working away, and this friend has a DRUG PROBLEM. My boyfriend told me yesterday that he had smoked with this friend drugs atleast 4 times over a 3 day period since he’s been back,

i’m scared of a relapse.

So i confronted him and said it scared me, that i wouldn’t stick around if things went back to how they were, he assured me they wouldn’t.

Now today i’ve turned up at uni, (we go to the same one) To see him taking a few pulls of one of his friend’s cigerettes. I was so upset. I didn’t let it show, but it hurts how he is doing this, KNOWING how i feel about it.

So far we have had the best relationship, we are perfect for eachother in the sense that we fit so well, we love each other equally, we show so much affection. I just need to tell him how i feel and stop being a push over,

PLease help?

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 433, 10, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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friends, Love, Sense, smoking cessation, drug, upset, Affection, Courtship, Period, Weed (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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johnatho #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (2 minutes after post)

“I just need to tell him how i feel and stop being a push over”

I think you said it best yourself…. sometimes we come on this site just to get re-assurance from other ppl even though we know exactly what to do…

sounds like you know exactly wat to do

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castlekrist #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (5 minutes after post)

he’s not an insane drug addict (and i won’t defend him too much because obviously it hurts me)
But he has a lot of influence from his friends, which is why i’m scared. He gave up drugs and has been doing so well.

I just feel like he’s getting complacent, i’m worried i won’t be able to sort this without getting into arguments, i hate arguments.

thanks for your comments

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johnatho #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (16 minutes after post)

you could try getting someone else to talk with him. if his under the infulence of his mates, its prob coz of where you live. has alot of affect on ppl. maybe you should consider moving. crap advice, i know, but when you live in an area with drugs, everywhere you turn there it is. if his trying to give up, it aint a good idea to live somewhere where there is a high level of drug ussage, trust me

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bowlofsoup 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (30 minutes after post)

Try to really explain to him how his behaviour makes you feel. Really think about what you want to say to him. Hearing that you’re making someone upset usually has more impact than just knowing that you’ve made them angry.

If you know you can’t live with it then tell him so. Drug abuse is a slippery slope and can really change a person.

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castlekrist #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (32 minutes after post)

thanks i completely agree, my fear is of that **** slippery slope! i need to get him away from that.
I will definately tell him i’m upset, i just hope he doesn’t think i’m nagging like his family. I want to scare him a little cause the fact is i wont be around if this stays.

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A.n.y 1 #
Greensburg, PA, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (58 minutes after post)

Diffently i understand and it’s like once a cheater always a cheater use you do drugs always a druggy… but it’s hard to quite cold turkey.. I think you should set him down and be like i’m not trying to push you over and you can do ur stuff but i wanna be around and i wanna moniter your intake cause if it’s going to be effecting you and since your in my life it’s going to effect me to…

Help me with: Wow it’s forever but, life is good me and my boyfriend have been together a year and 2 months and how we had are ups and downs we work it out!

castlekrist #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

that’s really good advice, thanks! yeah i don’t wanna feel like i’m trying to tell him what to do, how to run his life, but this is important i get involved.

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johnatho #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

just remember that it is difficult to quit. weed is quiet an easy drug to quit, but coke and anything hard like that, is really very difficult. do give him credit where due, but dont be a walk over like you said

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Godfather 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 48 minutes after post)

Talk with him. Fix it through a good conversation. Maybe not your problem, but at least how you feel. Understand that a cigarette doesn’t lead to a relapse, in fact it may help take off the stress which could prevent him from relapsing.

Just tell him how you feel, make sure you don’t leave anything out, and then take it from there.

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