Love help: how can i teach my heart to trust when my head is saying it already does?

cloudlessworld

how can i teach my heart to trust when my head is saying it already does?

i dont see myself as a jealous person, im quite well balanced. i was in a long relationship and there was no jealousy there for a long time. hed do his thing and id do mine, we would even go on holiday with our friends and i never minded. i trusted him. he did however, in the end, betray my trust and cheated on me. at the time it rocked my world and i couldnt believe it, but it was true. he wanted me to forgive him, but at the time i couldnt. and so i decided to end the relationship as i couldnt forget what hed done. that was a while ago now and i feel im over it. ive been in a few short relationships but nothing major since then. i just thought maybe i was saving myself for someone special, not worth risking my heart on something small, u know?
but now…. ive been out a few times with this guy and i like him, a little more than i have the others… i think. he gives me that feeling, my heart goes all a flutter when im with him and ill admit its scary. recently hes been saying he feels he cant get close to me as im too guarded! i talked to a couple of friends about this and they agree?! the thing is hes really nice…. and hot! i do, however, keep finding myself feeling these little twinges of jealousy, like when his phone goes late on or if he doesnt pick up when i call him…. aarrggghhh! this is not me! its making me feel like leaving it right there but this would mean what my friends and him are saying is true! what to do!? trust issues! i dont want them!!

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 482, 15, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post cloudlessworld may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. cloudlessworld is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 9 posts and 370 replies to their name.

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friends, holiday, Head, heart, Person, jealousy, world, major, Thought, Feels, trust, Love (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (15)

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skyy 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 minutes after post)

Lol you sound like me and i have major trust issues. Im sorry but your friends and him are right…

Help me with: Is finding friends a long process?

Looking for somethin 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (27 minutes after post)

look it can always be really hard to start another serious relationship when you have gotten betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. but after a while you need to go out there and find someone new. and it sounds like you found that someone. so just take it slow. if it happens again you’ll always have your friends there to back you up.

Help me with: omg boys god they are so……confusing.

This reply has been removed.

skyy 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (32 minutes after post)

But how can one have guards up and move on? How can a person not be cautious?? How can a person just let go and be free?? That all seems so foreign to me….

Help me with: Is finding friends a long process?

This reply has been removed.

PowBow 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (37 minutes after post)

it took me like a good year to get over my ex. jus when things are ok i stumble across this person who ROKED Me and scared me because i was so in love. i built up my trust and if he likes you he wont betray you as ive learnt. IM not wit this person but we are really close and waiting i guess - jus hold on to what youve got and be thankful for it xx

Help me with: im in a sticky situation with this person who i love….we are not together tho i wish we wud be….everytime i see

skyy 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (47 minutes after post)

Yea i have a guy friend now who is being VERY patient with me lol and i really appreciate him for doing so. Because it takes a lot to handle me

Help me with: Is finding friends a long process?

☆ 527 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (9 hours, 21 minutes after post)

I just hope that the new guy (the one you like or the one you are with) gives you some assurance you need. It would take a very patient guy to do this to you. And he should love you really inorder for him to give what you need.

But anyone would get tired if this thing is overdone. You need to help yourself on this matter.

Actually, we are in the same boat more or less and working on it. :)

Take care.

Help me with: Anyone?

cloudlessworld 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (11 hours, 41 minutes after post)

thanks for all the advice guys! feel a little better about it today, think its about time i admitted to myself that i do have trust issues and worked through them. cant keep running away from feelings i dont like…. im ready! thank you again.

Help me with: Thoughts on the past…

☆ 527 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (22 hours, 51 minutes after post)

That’s the spirit, go go go girl! :)

Help me with: Anyone?

r12starie12 5 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 1 hour after post)

thank you for your advice…now i may not be the best person giving you advice right now but if you still feel jealousy…i dont think your fully healed from your last relationship….just take it slow…there is no rush…just when you start to feel jealous, breathe….its all you can do…try to let go of your hurtful past and let yourself fully heal and trust and love because it is a beautiful thing…even tho my ex broke my heart into a million little pieces i know i will be ok and love again when i am ready

Help me with: I don’t know whats wrong with me…I am really depressed…I just want to die :( help

cloudlessworld 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 21 hours after post)

any advice is always welcome, thank you. im good at giving advice too, we should listen to ourselves! i kno, if you dont hav trust you dont have much. my problem is i think im ok… until something makes me think! you know? atleast im admitting it to myself now though so almost there i hope!

Help me with: Thoughts on the past…

☆ 527 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 23 hours after post)

My new post talks about insecurities. And a lot of members have replied to it. You may make use of it.

Help me with: Anyone?

saraloves 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 week after post)

It’s not surprising that you’re feeling insecure after your experience in your long term relationship. It’s completely understandable.

I think you’re already doing really well just by giving this new guy a chance with you. your trust will build as your relationship with the new guy develops. I’m also a suspicious person (although my spouse, to my knowledge, has never cheated) and when he is late home from work, I do think to myself that he could be out sleeping with another woman. It’s normal to have these kind of paranoid thoughts. I just try to ignore these thoughts, I don’t react to them or confront my partner about them.

It will take time to build trust in your relationship but try to give your new partner the benefit of your doubt, and you’ll get there.

Help me with: I’m getting married in a week.

pra_kash4 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (9 months, 1 week after post)

its amaizing to read such facts of life.

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how can i teach my heart to trust when my head is saying it already does?

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