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PassionateMusic
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Fargo, ND, US

I’m So Worried About Her!

Cassie, my girlfriend, just recently lost one of her closest friends. They met in the fifth grade and have known each other ever since. He was involved in a car accident on Friday and died of the injuries yesterday morning. She is clearly going through the seven stages of grief.

1.) Denial

She would not accept that the occasion was real and that it was happening to her. She didn’t cry until earlier tonight.

2.) Pain and Guilt

She kept saying that she was the reason he got involved in the accident. She said they got into an argument and that he was angry about it, so he began to speed. Well, the speeding ultimately led to the accident

3.) Anger

She lashed out at me over the phone as I was trying to help.

4.) Depression

She told me she didn’t care anymore and that she just wanted to give up. She won’t tell me that she loves me back anymore. I think she was going to cut or something, but I don’t know.

So, this is where I last left off with her. I think her brother just got home, so she should be safe, but I’m still worried to death!

What do I do right now?
What do I say to her?

This open post was written 1 year, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 182, 7, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post PassionateMusic may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. PassionateMusic is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 10 months and has 12 posts and 34 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

friends, death, automobile, Pain and nociception, Grief, reason, Friday, Guilt, anger, Car accident (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (7)

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soc0ut offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (9 minutes after post)

I’m not sure.. this one is tuff.
An idea, though maybe not a good one, is tell her you need her. Get her to try and be your rock.

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lifeless offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (13 minutes after post)

Try to support her, I know thism ust be hard for you. Right now she is too consumed in pain to accept your help but she’ll need you later.
Right now you should give her some place, but never get out of touch. Call some times (not too often) and show her that you still care for her. Do not push her right now! Dont ask her to say things (like that she loves you) right now, she loved this friend (not in the same way but anyhow) too and maybe this pains her. She is depressed and thinks that the world is going down, the only thing for you to do is like I said support her.

With time she will need you and she will talk to you, just leave her now some place. When she wants your help, then tell her that you need her, lover her etc.
And one thing, tell her she is NOT alone and has NOT to go through this alone. Hope that helpes.

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PassionateMusic offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Fargo, ND, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 hour, 28 minutes after post)

Socout, she knows that I need her in my life, because we have been through so much. She is basically one of the biggest parts of my life. She is my sweetheart and I care about her so much.

Lifeless, I think you are completely right. I’ll only call her a few times a day now and let her know that she is still loved by so many people and that she is not in this alone. I understand she needs space, but I don’t want her hurting herself. I honestly think she was going to hurt herself tonight. I just have to sit here now and wait for her to call me back. I hope to god that I get that phone call…

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prep offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (6 hours, 10 minutes after post)

it seems to me that she has gone through some of the stages when people lost someone. The only stage left is acceptance stage. You need to help her get through it. help her be strong.

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HannahBryant95 offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (10 hours, 41 minutes after post)

how long ago was it that this accident happen?it will probably take her i while to to grieve over the loss of a close friend and something that only her can get over however hard that will be for u to watch her, but she has to go through this process in order to heal. and you seem like a caring guy and im sure she nos that so your doing the right thing by letting her know that your there. she probably feels that you dont undastand how she feels aswell so attempts you are making to console her just annoy her- this is not your or her fault. just give her the space she needs and a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, if she truly feels lost with it all you could allways suggest that she talks to someone like a councillor but not till shes gone through the grieving stage. its hard seeing your loved ones upset specially if they dont want to talk to you, but half the reason is not because she doesnt love or need you but people closest to you can often be the hardest people to talk to.

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lifeless offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (12 hours, 7 minutes after post)

Dont give up man, she will need you if tomorrow or in a week its just a matter of time. And I bet she is happy over every nice word you say, even if she doesnt seem like it at the same moment.

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PassionateMusic offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Fargo, ND, US | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 day, 18 hours after post)

She is doing much better now, but when she thinks of the memories, it still hurt her alot. Another one of her friends, Adeline, began cutting over the situation. Adeline has a history of cutting, but gave it up one year ago, but when such tragedy struck, she couldn’t help it. Cassie, my girlfriend and the focus of this post, took away all sharp objects in Addie’s room, but she still found something to cut with.

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