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After they talk, tell them you let them speak now it’s your turn.
geez how the hell is she suppose to talk first when she doesn’t know what I’m gonna say? ******’ ***.
During your turn to speak, you can tell her of how wrong she is.
but I have to start the conversation because I’m calling her…I was talking to her about this car me and my boyfriend just bought and she’s keeping it for now because I don’t have my license and I called her and asked if she could take me to my road test and she started flippin’ out tellin’ me I can’t drive it and I kept telling her to calm down I’m not yelling and I just want to talk and then she hung up on me…I don’t know how to keep her on the line long enough to calm her down : /
oh whatever…I’ll take her to a psychiatrist with me…that will give us a turn to each speak…I just find it ridiculous to spend so much money to communicate with my grandmother. Thanx.
I think a letter is a good idea. If you think what you wrote is going to upset her, try rephrasing what you wrote in a less threatening way. A good way to do that is to talk about how YOU feel more than talking about what SHE did. It might help her to be more receptive if you say in the letter something along the lines of “i know you care about me and don’t want to make me feel this way, so i hope you’ll try to understand this from my perspective.” Also, I would write that you would like to talk to her on the phone but you’re afraid she won’t be willing to listen.
ignore them they’ll calm down sooner or later
shes obviously stressed, and angry about something to have to vent it out on you. Are you the only person she yells at?
No, I’m not the only person she yells at, but she’s been like this for years. Her son died so long ago and she’s been in a depressive state ever since. I want to talk to her…she raised me since I was a youngen and I feel really bad when she can’t hear me out.
I think and I hate to say this but she’s a lost cause…she’s been to counselors and has been on medication for years. :(
she needs natural remedies…I don’t mean altnerative holistic medicine. But maybe something to help her remember the good times. I think for older people - they don’t realize what they have now..i.e. family etc….some think they are going to be tossed in the nursing home right away. Ignoring her would be GREAT..but she;ll definitely feel it, and probably haunt you more. Have you tried to confront her face to face while she is yelling at the top of her lungs, and completely finishes her sentences, and say politely..”you don’t have to shout, I can hear you..” and smile?
Yes, I have : / and she stopped talking and gave me the silent treatment. She’s just the worst person to talk to. I just want my car is all and after I plan to never talk to her again. I know that sounds harsh, but she causes more pain that what it’s worth. She’s pushed everyone in the family but her husband away. It’s like her brain is dependent on the chemicals it releases when she’s depressed but I’m not sure : /
The court I’m sure could solve this. I have the receipt for the car, but I don’t want to do that which is why it’s so important to get her to talk to me. maybe if I get another family to talk to me with her ? ? ? ?
You could. But what is stopping you from going there and getting the car for which you paid for? She could be holding it with anger - feeling used, taken advantage of? or maybe she thinking of responsibility - why should I return the car over? You know she is worried about your safety. Shes got to trust you, and ease up on this controlling yelling behavior. Does she like your boyfriend?
you got to let her know that the car, you, whatever you do in life currently is going to be ok. And that you “thank” her so much for keeping the car there. And not worry so much about you and your life. If she ends up yelling at you and talking at the same time..just keep your pace and make it a little loud. But no so that you look like you are going to punch her, or spit in her face. She does and will hear you. She just needs to accept it. If you still can’t get the car, then talk to her husband. Get it from him. If that does not work - maybe court. That would scare her, and she would feel “unloved”..senile..or whatever. But you got to do what you got to do. If court does work….don’t just walk away from her. Its not a who wins wins battle. Depressed old people feel unloved. And the worst is to have no one at the time of death. Sorry if I am ranting too much.
No you’re not at all infact I appreciate any advice I can get. Her husband is ummm passive and she’s basically the boss. I will try to talk to her when she comes up this weekend…if she’s still going to and talk to her about it, but it will most likely be a repeat of the last time. still try and try again. hopefully she’ll get the point and realize I’m not joking anymore and I need this car. Without it I have no job and no life. I’ve just been sitting here doing nothing. Thank God my boyfriends job is within walking distance lol or we’d be screwed. :P if that doesn’t work I’ll threaten her with court and I’ll do my best to put up with her. I really don’t want to walk out on her I mean she’s the closest thing I have to a mother so it’d be hurting me too. I’ll just cross my fingers :)
Good luck on it. I hope you get her to see things differently. It does take time tho. I hope you DO get your car back. Just remember that she does not want to give the car back to you because of whatever. She just cares about you and your well being, in a different kind of way. Don’t leave high and dry. Try to make the most of it. And come out on top - and accomplished. I will now go and drink some tea and honey because I think I am going to cough up a turd.
Let me know how it goes tho.. ;p
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