friends help: How can I tell what he wants? - Help.com

but ask what?

First of all, I always get this suggestion and I need to reitterate: I am a guy, and I’m not interested in him romantically. I only want to be friends with him.

I have made eye contact several times, and every time he gives this dry, quiet smile; i can’t tell if it is a form of contentment or a means of concealing dislike/ being polite. That is what I have a hard time distinguishing.

I know. I don’t have a lot of friends, so when somebody acts remotely nice to me, I obsess about it and what it all means. I know I think about things more than most guys do, I know. It just means a lot to me I guess and I’m not sure how to deal with it.

? 16. why?

I would, except I don’t think there is a girl at my school who is mature enough for a relationship. They all seem the same; superficial, scandalous, permiscious; not the kind of relationship I want to be in. I’d rather be with a girl who was independent minded, grounded and straight- thinking, but there aren’t many of them out there. There are a few girls who are like that, but I don’t think they’d like me very much; I’m not a very confident, self loving person.

There is one girl I met years ago who I had a crush on (and still do) who lives in a different state from me. Her birthday happens to be today, and it’s one of the only days of the year I keep in contact with her. She doesn’t talk to me much, not nearly as much as I’d like to, so I’m taking it to mean she doesn’t like me that much either.

I’m active in my church group. I am in several clubs: international club, improv club and I run cross country (the season ends for me this Saturday). I hope to take up squash when cross country is over and then sailing in the spring, which is what I did last year. I see people, but I don’t know how to get along or get to know them, or understand them. That is what confuses me.

I don’t know, do I seem snobbish? Is it because I take up squash and sailing? Because I don’t think a lot of people know that about me. I do feel guilty, as I am better off than most fortunate people; i live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and have a very stable life considering how I eat and sleep and live and the quality of my education, in general pretty well off save my social life. I don’t like conforming to the pressures of society, or stooping down to be like others around me, I would rather be my own person and wait for others to catch on and be themselves, and not have to pretend to be someone to be ‘accepted’.