Love help: i am 31 and deeply in love with a 22 year old young man, after breaking with a man we had a long distance relationship for 6yrs. - Help.com

If that’s what makes you happy then you should. You only have one life, so why not be happy? Don’t let anything keep you from that!

sorry, you’re an adult, presumably, and he probably isn’t. Nine years is a big difference. And love isn’t the only thing to think about. I sometimes try this: I ask myself, “How would I feel if….” And what goes in the blank is usually about something I’m thinking of doing or buying. I try to imagine I’ve either bought or done the thing, and now I have to live with it: how does it feel? The exercise puts me in touch with the reality, whatever it is, and not just it’s feel good parts. If I’m going to feel buyer’s remorse, I like to have it before I buy!

Still though, who knows? Maybe it’s right. It probably isn’t. You’ll pay dearly if it’s wrong. And being nine years older it’s your call and your responsibility - he cannot help you with that. All through his twenties, you’ll literally be “the old lady.” He may not be able to deal with that long term. And it will be very difficult for you two to ever be truly equals, or to be peers with each other’s friends.

In my opinion, if you can, enjoy it for what it’s worth for a while. If it endures…. If it doesn’t, then you’ve cut your losses. And keep an eye out for someone more your age.

You’re both Adults, but 9yrs is quite a lot in the Maturity arena, its a known fact that males mature slower than females, but if he is your equal on a mature level and you think there’s a chance it may work, try living together first, its not for all but this way you have no messy divorce to go through if it doesn’t come to par. You may get along great on messenger and the telephone, but actually living with someone reveals a lot more of their habits and Characteristics. Id give it a year and see how you go, then if your still as in love, and you find it has the power to be a long loving relationship, then go for it and get married. :-)
This site is just to get opinions, this would be the way Id feel inclined to do it.

Is this an internet relationship? Have you ever met in person?

If you have to ask that question on the internet or anywhere else, my answer would be no. You should know the answer. What I try to say is that if you have to ask it and not knowing it, then you are not ready either. Can you be more specific about the two of you like Richard asked here for instance? Without proper information we can’t really help you and like so many of us told you, 9 years difference is a red herring.

Thanks Regy… it does not sound like a long distance relationship in the terms those words are normally used. You are physically together, which makes a big difference. I can understand your confusion. Of course he will be OK meeting your friends and family… I’m not sure how the social structure is in Kenya but here in America… while older women date younger men all the time (more since Hollywood got into the act)… there is still a stigma to it. These women are called Cougars, because it is thought that they ‘prey’ upon young men. Personally… if both people are over the age of 30, I don’t care what the age difference is. You man is 22 and while 9 years difference is not a large gap… try to think of it in the terms of 9 years of life experience. If his life experiences have forced him to mature so much faster then maybe it’s ok… but he’s lived a normal life with normal development… he has alot of growing left to do. Think about 10 or 20 years from now. When he’s 32 and you are 41… will he still find you attractive? When he is 42 and dealing with his mid-life… and you are 51… will you still be attractive to him? It’s a tough call. And it’s not so much if you will be pretty… I trust that you will be a beautiful woman as you age… but his career will become part of the equation. His family already has become part of the equation. If you are not comfortable, you should not deepen the relationship until you are comfortable.