friends help: No one looked at my post from before so Im gonna sorta rewrite it…:( - Help.com

Maybe you could ask him?

I suppose he will tell you if he wishes to be more then just friends again. Do you still want to be with him?

Well then your only option is to wait. I hope your wish to be reunited as boyfriend and girlfriend comes true :)

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Is this the song?

Just be there for him…

Your ex sounds like a bit of a simpleton. I think you’re better off without him in your life.

he means that he likes you, but he likes someone else more. He’s put you on his waiting list in case the other thing falls through. “one step closer to ‘finding’ himself”… give me a break… where’d he get lost? In the land of honesty?

Well!
You know Im sorry to say this but, kinda agree with Richard…
If I remember correctly I did tell you something like this earlier, but you have to look at the long term thing, for all you know the feeling he has for this other person is just an infatuation that will go away once he gets to know her better…

People are not lost… were they need to find themselves. People are afraid. People play games.. people lie. He’s your Ex. He broke up with you. He now realizes that he hurt you, and hey… now he’s feeling what it’s like without you. But he doesn’t want necessarily to come back to you… he remembers why you are his ex (apparently it’s something you’ve forgotten). OK… so lets be “friends”. Sometimes that works… usually it doesn’t. It just all sounds like he’s an immature game player. He’s holding you in the wings in case he can’t get someone else. Having “to sort things out”, is code for “I have feelings for someone else”… and am confused… so until I get un-confused I need some space. While in this ’space’, he’s gonna find out more about the other feelings he has. Believe it or not :)
Bright blessings ~ Richard

Well,
Im sorry I may have got a bit muddled…
Im not sure how to put this…
All I can say is to be there for him when he needs a friend and hopefully when the time comes to need somethig more i.e. someone to spend his life with he cant think of anyone else but you…
Another guess is now that he dosent have you to think about he can spend his time concentrating on his work so that later on in life he would be able to do more than he can do now withouth his education and all and actually dosent have time for a relationship…
If thats the case I suggest you too can now put effort into your instead of thinking about what to do….

mjcatdo wrote:
noooooo…lol.
He is not the average jerk guy that alot of people are use to today.

and I dont think he is “lost” in a sense, but he is confused, because he went thru life paying bills for the family, and had this ex GF that controled him in a hasty way, so he was always doing things for others and never for himself, and now is the time where he is starting to learn how to make his own decisions for wat he wants, not for others.
I know its not another girl. I know that one for sure. and I know Im not a back up because he wouldnt lead me on. he is a very generous rare kind of guy, and you can ask anybody who knows him.
he also has started college. so he is under alot of stress because one, he is the first outta his family, and two he had to go thro with money and paying etc. himself with not much guidence.
And when he broke up with me, he cried with me. he knew he was hurting me. and knows i am still hurt.
He didnt want to break up with me. he has told me that, he just said it felt like the right hting to do so he can get use to this change, and become him, instead of wat someone else wants in a sense.
i hope this gives you a better point of veiw of the sit.

He sounds a lot like my ex who kept me hanging in the wind… waiting for him to come back to me. After 4 or 5 months I finally moved on and realized I can be friends, but he’s just not meant for me.

Hey mjcatdo… you seem so nice. I’ve read you’re profile and you should concentrate on your dancing, what you love, become stronger and realise you are an attractive lass (yep I’m british)!! You have a man here who has fallen for you hook line and sinker (and he appears really sweet too) but … and there is the but which sucks like hell ;-) he has become very scared… scared he’ll get hurt again, so therefore scared of any sort of commitment :-( I know because I met such a bloke… he was hurt by his ex too and spoke with me about how she was with him and hurt him… this freaked me out big time because we had just met and he was mentioning her and how scared he was about meeting another… in a way though it touched me that he trusted me to talk about her and his life after time with me but I backed off and although fancied him like hell and cared for him (without realising at the time) I considered him as an FWB or “friend with benefit’s” thinking I wouldn’t get attached to him (er wrong)… we are now living together as I guess we both got feelings and progressed. He also is a very kind giving guy and is hot as hell ;-p however there are lines I draw with regard to respect etc. and I think I used to believe in “meant to be” but I have become more cynical these days although still believe to an extent (apologises profusely)!! I think communication is important in relationships and / or friendships (as you have now with your ex) but also equally respect for self and other person in question. He did what he believes is the right thing (ending it before hurting you or himself too badly) and is confused about what to do which is why I believe he has opted to stay friends with you. I think in your situation you can go two ways (which I believe one you may not want to choose atall and understandably) - you can break free completely :-( or try and make a go of things with him but developing a tough skin!!! Sorry but it is my opinion although your option and free will to choose either! If he sees you break away and be strong without him - chances are he might think “Oh my .. what am I doing .. where is this girl I wanted so bad” and make a darn good effort to get you back in his life… or he could think “oh .. there goes my chance”. Either way you have to develop a sense of self respect for you and show him what you are and aren’t prepared to put up with!! Another way is to remain friends but at a distance… maybe date others (after all you are a free woman) but at the same time be there for him (although don’t keep too close so you remain attached and stuck to someone you aren’t sure which way he’ll turn)!! Eventually after time he might warm toward you and realise it’s you he wants. Either way tread carefully, prepare for the worst and don’t give your life up for him just yet… remember how wonderful you are and remind yourself what you deserve, then make him realise it!!! If he doesn’t then.. move on. Hopefully though, if you play your cards right you’ll win him back!! Good luck angel x

mjcatdo wrote:
well he tells me not to wait because he doesnt kno when things will turn back around.
so he isnt trying to make me hang
i just choose to
because I for some freakin reason believe that we’re meant to be.

it was funny, becaue I talked to him last night and i asked him if it was ok to tell him that i missed him (because he told me that he didnt want me saing things like that because it shows that i am holding on.), and he said i was gonna say the same thing to you…
:(
i want him so bad.

As much as I hate saying this, and I’ve said it before. I do think it’s best you try to move on. You sit there patiently waiting for him to come back to you, for whatever reason it is, he won’t. He tells you he misses you, yet he won’t commit to coming back again. Then sure enough one day when he feels he’s found someone else, he’ll move on and stop talking to you. Whether he’s doing this subconsciously or consciously, he is in a way leaving you hanging on. I think a lot of the reason you’re not letting go has to do with all the nostalgia, and cute things you remember about you two, yada yada.. if you were meant to be together, you will go your way, and he will go his, and eventually you will find each other again. In the mean time it is very unhealthy to sit around waiting for him.

I agree w/ Richard and obamadaisy, mj.
I also think you are living a past, to me you seem stuck in it as in making decisions based on a relationship that “was” and not “is”.
I have not much else to say since all my previous opinions on your previous posts are still “in effect” (sort of speak).
All I can see is that you still dwell on the past, you are thinking with your heart, “wishfully think”, and he’s “stringing you along”.
In fact, I think he should be a little more considerate and leave you alone.

How can someone that “dumped you” want to “not lose you”, but at the same time not want to be compromised to you nor interested in fullfilling bf/gf responsibilities?
Wanna be with someone like that?
Give your thoughts and heart, emotions, etc…on someone that does that to you?

Think about it.
You are the one who decides whatever position you want to put yourself in.

I can imagine how hard and torturous its been on you, and how much “emotional weight” you must be carrying. I hope your situation works out for the best.
You deserve it.

Well.. hope it works out for you two.

Fantastic…. I’m pleased for you :-)

Hey!
Our pleasure…
All the best!!!

Congrats!!!