Is you definition of gentleman just someone who will pick up the tab?
not all of us died off.
some men are just poorly trained boys.
a gentleman is actually considerate of his date. it’s not about the money.
desert.rose.2 wrote:
a gentleman is actually considerate of his date. it’s not about the money.
Was he not considerate at all?
was this your first time out with the guy?
no i’ve been on enough dates to be sick of it.
desert.rose.2 wrote:
no i’ve been on enough dates to be sick of it.
Why do you continue to have dated him if you dislike it?
wow that does not make him less of a gentleman shaking my head right now some people huh its sad
desert rose, you gotta get you a southern guy, we know how to treat the ladies ;)
Well!
Thing is these days with the view of equality a date is now considered by many to be based on the fact that both of you are equals and are wish to be treated the same…
The date is mainly a meeting of common interests and to follow up perusing those interests…
Of course there are many of us who prefer the old wine and dine dating game…
Commander Ikari wrote:
desert.rose.2 wrote:
no i’ve been on enough dates to be sick of it.
Why do you continue to have dated him if you dislike it?
i believe in second chances.
then thats not a man . 2nd chances cmon .. a gentlemen shud do those things ..
It’s a date when the guy has no $ or car. I’ve been on those types of dates. I think still can be fun.
i agree cell. sometimes it is rude, sometimes they dont have the money…
which is it here anyways? does the guy have the money?
- Fire
If it’s a first date I certainly would want to pay for myself. paying shows your not looking for a wallet, and shows your an independent female. Nothing wrong with that. If he should offer then I guess it’s entirely up to you. I would pay for myself especially on those first few dates when you don’t really know one another yet :)
Fire wrote:
i agree cell. sometimes it is rude, sometimes they dont have the money…which is it here anyways? does the guy have the money?- Fire
the guys brag about making bank. sometimes they even make me pick up the entire check, not even splitting it.
i’m not saying every date he should pay, but good lord.
its considered a date when the world (including i think everyone commenting here) stops being sexist…
Well!
Thats interesting, I have rarely heard of that happening…
I guess its has got something to do with taking you out or the prestige of taking you out…
It depends on how they see you and what type of guys you attract…
Oh thay’s not right at all. Get it understood up front if your planning on going dutch or he’s paying. Geesh!!! I certaintly wouldn’t pick up his tab. If he can’t afford to pay his own tab, then he should stay home :D
I am all for gender roles. Really is the guy going to have the baby? No. Then he can at least pay the bills (if he has the $). That’s my take on it.
let’s face it. if the guy doesnt have the money he shouldn’t be asking the girl out to dinner! pick a free activity!
I agree!
Unless you have already done something else that would make him persue such a course (but Im not saying its your fault, just that he knows he can take advantage of you)
desert.rose.2 wrote:
let’s face it. if the guy doesnt have the money he shouldn’t be asking the girl out to dinner! pick a free activity!
okay. fair enough.
- Fire
name with no face wrote:
its considered a date when the world (including i think everyone commenting here) stops being sexist…
it is not sexist to show consideration of someone you’ve shown interest in. once again, it’s not the money, it’s the effort put in one way or another.
i think guys should carry on the tradition just because its a nice thing to do. i really don’t think its an insult to women if they try to pay, and if a woman wants to pay for me, ill gladly let her, and simply be sad i couldn’t do something nice for the evening, by paying for the meal.
but he probably should have. i guess he will learn better if you stop going out with him huh.
- Fire
I agree if he made the first move, then he should be the one paying…
But then it depends on who asked who out…
Just saying that if you asked him out and you suggested the activity then you too can ask whether he owuld let you pay since everythign was your idea…
But this is only if you asked him out…
If its the other way around, then atleast go dutch…
How did he ask you to pay?
I agree with Fire as well…
Would like to ask why are you going out with him?
i completely agree. whoever asked who should be paying. before a date with anyone, i now have to clarify what the paying situation will be, which is sad. the guy should at least offer or clarify we’re splitting the check beforehand.
the guy will usually just look at the check and then look back up at me. and i’m too nice to not pick it up and be a ***** yellin “hell no!”
it’s not just one guy.
maybe it really is just the guys i attract.
whatever… i’m done with it. waste of time.
Wanna know what’s funny? A guy takes a girl out to a nice restaurant and to the theater, and after he spends $$$ on the date, she tells her girlfriends, “He’s really nice, but the way he spends money on me, I don’t think I’d have a secure financial future with him.” No, I’m not kidding. I’ve actually overheard conversations like that.
So, it’s really hard for a guy to win sometimes! ;-)
LOL!
Arts types who are trying to be the next Picasso, right?
R.A.M wrote:
LOL!Arts types who are trying to be the next Picasso, right?
no usually business or marketing majors who have a five year plan.
K!
kinda the same thign where they think you should be happy to be going out with them and in the future when they make it big, then ull get your return…
Or they know you as a nice gal whom they can take for a ride…
Not sure!
Curious, what attracts you to them?
R.A.M wrote:
K!kinda the same thign where they think you should be happy to be going out with them and in the future when they make it big, then ull get your return…Or they know you as a nice gal whom they can take for a ride…Not sure!Curious, what attracts you to them?
it’s not their figures or major that attracts me. there just happen to be a lot of business majors.
I didnt mean that…
I meant do you screen your dates or give every guy a chance or more who is nice to you and asks you out?
R.A.M wrote:
I didnt mean that…I meant do you screen your dates or give every guy a chance or more who is nice to you and asks you out?
if a guy asks me on a date i’m going to say yes unless it’s a dire situation that requires a no.
i once had a guy who constantly talked about his six figure income all the time, finally asked me to dinner, picked the most expensive place he could think of, and did NOT pick up the check. it was ridiculous. put your money where your mouth is.
K!
LOL!
That makes no sense…
Can I ask u out for a cup of coffie ;)Another question why do they expect you to foot the bill?
Is it common knowledge now that you do that quite often?
its interesting. i know a blonde who looks like a barbie, and she went out with all these “hot” guys. all of them were jerks, and she couldnt figure out why. the reason is they were nice to her at first.
people will be nice to you, and you cant always tell at first about them.
but theres some qoute… the best measure of a persons character is how they treat those who have nothing to offer them. so look at how they are to people that arent you… or girls, or nice looking, etc.
- Fire
When the check arrives, excuse your self to the ladies room and let him pick up the tab.If he said he would. With all your bad experiences, I wouldn’t go unless the tab paying was discussed ahead of time . Then there are no suprises :D
seas light wrote:
When the check arrives, excuse your self to the ladies room and let him pick up the tab.If he said he would. With all your bad experiences, I wouldn’t go unless the tab paying was discussed ahead of time . Then there are no suprises :D
**** that’s a good idea.
i don’t know. whatever. i think i might just retire from dating, it really is lame.
Come on!
Its always nice to enjoy someones company…
Thing is to treat them the way they treat you…
R.A.M wrote:
Come on!
Its always nice to enjoy someones company…
Thing is to treat them the way they treat you…
then i’ll get a ******* puppy. lol
Anonymous
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1 year, 1 month ago (51 minutes after post)
it usually is just because you are hot and they just want you to look hot next to them in public. you’re a trophy for a night. they don’t need money for you to be a trophy for a night.
Any way I guess Fire made the best sense…
Fire wrote:
its interesting. i know a blonde who looks like a barbie, and she went out with all these “hot” guys. all of them were jerks, and she couldnt figure out why. the reason is they were nice to her at first.people will be nice to you, and you cant always tell at first about them.but theres some qoute… the best measure of a persons character is how they treat those who have nothing to offer them. so look at how they are to people that arent you… or girls, or nice looking, etc.- Fire
I think you can use this as a measure…
Since when??? since the 70’s, and women across America the UK, (and in general Western civilization) were burning their bra’s and demanding equality. It’s not that I object to feminism, I don’t. I think it can go too far, simply because I like those days too where a man could open a door for a woman without being afraid of being reprimanded. Men have faced a huge gender confusion since the 70’s. Do I treat her like a lady, or do I treat her equally.
I think the general rule of etiquette is if you ask… you pay… if he asks, he pays. That’s the way I’m raising my daughters anyway. If my daughters get stuck with an unexpected bill, I’ll encourage them not to date the young man again. (I’m just that old fashioned).
Richard cor de lyon wrote:
Since when??? since the 70’s, and women across America the UK, (and in general Western civilization) were burning their bra’s and demanding equality. It’s not that I object to feminism, I don’t. I think it can go too far, simply because I like those days too where a man could open a door for a woman without being afraid of being reprimanded. Men have faced a huge gender confusion since the 70’s. Do I treat her like a lady, or do I treat her equally.
I think the general rule of etiquette is if you ask… you pay… if he asks, he pays. That’s the way I’m raising my daughters anyway. If my daughters get stuck with an unexpected bill, I’ll encourage them not to date the young man again. (I’m just that old fashioned).
that’s the kind of mom i like. :)
desert.rose.2 wrote:
Richard cor de lyon wrote:
Since when??? since the 70’s, and women across America the UK, (and in general Western civilization) were burning their bra’s and demanding equality. It’s not that I object to feminism, I don’t. I think it can go too far, simply because I like those days too where a man could open a door for a woman without being afraid of being reprimanded. Men have faced a huge gender confusion since the 70’s. Do I treat her like a lady, or do I treat her equally. I think the general rule of etiquette is if you ask… you pay… if he asks, he pays. That’s the way I’m raising my daughters anyway. If my daughters get stuck with an unexpected bill, I’ll encourage them not to date the young man again. (I’m just that old fashioned).
that’s the kind of mom i like. :)
or dad. lol i was thinking me as a mom doing the same. sorry
Hope we kinda answered your question…
All teh best in finding some nice guys…
TC!
R.A.M wrote:
Hope we kinda answered your question…
All teh best in finding some nice guys…
TC!
yeah… just don’t date til you’re married. and then only to your husband. got it. lol
Here’s an idea. Don’t bring any money if he asked you out. Then you won’t be paying for anything! If he doesn’t have $ either you can always offer to call your mom to come pay the bill.
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